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View Poll Results: When I see jealousy in my partner, it is generally a...

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  • xNTP: positive thing/something I can appreciate/like when displayed/sign of commitment

    4 14.29%
  • xNTP: negative thing/something I don't appreciate/dislike when displayed/sign of problems

    7 25.00%
  • xNTJ: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xNTJ: negative thing...

    1 3.57%
  • xNFP: positive thing...

    2 7.14%
  • xNFP: negative thing...

    4 14.29%
  • xNFJ: positive thing...

    4 14.29%
  • xNFJ: negative thing...

    3 10.71%
  • xSTP: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTP: negative thing...

    2 7.14%
  • xSFP: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSFP: negative thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTJ: positive thing...

    0 0%
  • xSTJ: negative thing...

    0 0%
  • xSFJ: positive thing...

    1 3.57%
  • xSFJ: negative thing...

    0 0%
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Results 121 to 130 of 253

  1. #121
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charmed Justice View Post
    When would jealousy reflect a concern for someone else over the self?
    What I meant was: jealousy doesn't have to solely be about self, as you claimed it was. It could be a concern for the relationship itself, for example, which would involve both parties.

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    That's like saying pain is good because it's an indication that you're still alive. Maybe. But a pain-free existence >>> a painful one.
    Some people find a bit of pain sexually exciting.

    Let's not be hating on the S/M or B/D community.

  3. #123
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Jealousy is a self esteem issue. This is comming from someone who has trust issues in general. Usually - If I feel any anxiety about trusting who I am with, 99.9% something is not going well. In completely open and honest relationships, there is nothing to distrust, and if you are seeing red flags, that needs to be dealt with or the relationship ended.
    Life is to short to hurt yourself.
    Jealousy hurts you.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  4. #124
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    Jealousy is a self esteem issue. This is comming from someone who has trust issues in general. Usually - If I feel any anxiety about trusting who I am with, 99.9% something is not going well. In completely open and honest relationships, there is nothing to distrust, and if you are seeing red flags, that needs to be dealt with or the relationship ended.
    Life is to short to hurt yourself.
    Jealousy hurts you.
    Jealousy isn't all about mere suspicion. A person might feel jealous if they knew for a fact that their spouse was having an affair with someone else.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  5. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    Jealousy is a self esteem issue. This is comming from someone who has trust issues in general. Usually - If I feel any anxiety about trusting who I am with, 99.9% something is not going well. In completely open and honest relationships, there is nothing to distrust, and if you are seeing red flags, that needs to be dealt with or the relationship ended.
    Life is to short to hurt yourself.
    Jealousy hurts you.
    Some people like playing games though.

    You guys probably think I'm NUTS but all of this talk about ending relationships over jealousy and stuff just sounds incredibly vanilla and boring to me. I think I'm sort of a psychological sado-masochist. I don't know.

    No offense. I just think people have different needs, and a different capacity for tolerating jealousy, and people want different things from a relationship. I mean if you're that tortured by someone and aren't enjoying it, then clearly the relationship should end.

  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    Jealousy isn't all about mere suspicion. A person might feel jealous if they knew for a fact that their spouse was having an affair with someone else.
    This is true, too. Sometimes strong jealousy is an instinct that something is actually wrong.

  7. #127
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    Love is a word that has so many meanings that there is a high risk of equivocation. I'm pretty sure that the topic here is about so-called romantic love. Love for family is different, and in fact very different, and perhaps people only assume it is as related as they do because we happen to use the same word for it.

    A pain-free existence is also impossible, so the analogy works in that way, too.
    That'll be why you're equivocating then.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  8. #128
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    No offense. I just think people have different needs, and a different capacity for tolerating jealousy, and people want different things from a relationship.
    I agree with this. I guess its in vogue to deride jealousy and possessiveness as immature or unhealthy, but what's healthy is very subjective and depends on the person and their needs. I wouldn't say a person who never jealous or possessive is necessarily unhealthy, but many seem to think that branding the reverse as unhealthy is a fair and accurate depiction.

  9. #129
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    That'll be why you're equivocating then.
    I made the mistake of assuming that we were going by the same definition. I have defined what I mean by love now, at least somewhat, and I believe you know what I mean.

    I stand by my previous comments.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  10. #130
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Some people like playing games though.

    You guys probably think I'm NUTS but all of this talk about ending relationships over jealousy and stuff just sounds incredibly vanilla and boring to me. I think I'm sort of a psychological sado-masochist. I don't know.

    No offense. I just think people have different needs, and a different capacity for tolerating jealousy, and people want different things from a relationship. I mean if you're that tortured by someone and aren't enjoying it, then clearly the relationship should end.
    I think you're right about that...and I think a lot of NTs have zero tolerance for it because it adds unnecessary drama to the relationship. And because we feel like once we've proved we're trustworthy, we shouldn't have to keep proving it. I do like a teensy bit of it, though--and I do mean small--just to remind me I'm alive, or to remind me he cares and wants to keep me around. However, an SO that was constantly questioning me about guys that talked to me would not be an SO for very long. I play in clubs and have guys trying to chat me up all the time. I think there's a line there. The trust has to be there.
    Something Witty

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