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  1. #1
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Default 4's inability to complete things

    I don't recall seeing it blatently said that 4's suck at completing things... but I did see a video once that emphasized it and it made me wonder about this.

    I always start things with great intentions toward finishing them but I burn out quickly. I don't know how much of it is the INTj 'brainhoppin' and how much is the 4 but it sure does tick me off. At times I REALLY want things, and I KNOW that I could do it... and then the doubt sets in and the excuses and suddenly I'm sick of hearing myself. So then I get motivated again. Its a self-defeating cycle that never accomplishes anything. I am SO DAMN TIRED of living like this! I used to be so driven! I used to set my mind to something and come hell or high water I would make it happen. Somewhere along the way I decided that trying, that working for goals wasn't worth it. A lot of things that I had planned out in my INTJ brain that I thought were fool-proof blew up in my face and now its as if the confidence that I had is gone. Its been gone for years now and it pains me to remember how I used to be.

    Does that just happen as you get older? You give up on dreams and on making progress and just accept where you are?

    *sigh*

    If any of ye other 4's have this problem I'd love to hear from you. Or even anyone who has felt this way and found a way to believe in their ability to make progress again!

    Embrace the possibilities.

  2. #2
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    Oh, is that what it is? I can now blame 4? And all this time I thought it was my own lazy bum.

    I still haven't found a way to get out of the cycle myself. The confidence comes and goes, some things get accomplished and some don't but it takes a good long while to get things accomplished. At least the way I like them to be accomplished. Maybe that's the problem. Too high expectations?

  3. #3
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    I burn out quickly too. I haven't been able to complete anything for years now. For me it has a lot to do with lacking motivation along with not wanting to fail. Or it could even be a fear of success, now that I think about it. It is tiring, isn't it? I've yet to accept myself, but I still strive for something even though I constantly belittle myself. Some days my confidence is clear and precise and other days it sucks the life out of me. I just grasp on as tightly as I can to those small moments, when I feel like doing something. Mind over matter.

  4. #4
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    yeah, this happened to me. (as if you didn't know). and until i completely understand exactly what really happened to me and my family, i won't go any further. my subjective experience of reality has been severely compromised and somebody in this forum knows how it happened.

  5. #5
    Sniffles
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    I wouldn't be surprised if this is a problem for 5s as well.

    Yes I continously find myself in this cycle as well. It's really irritating beyond belief.

  6. #6
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    I don't recall seeing it blatently said that 4's suck at completing things... but I did see a video once that emphasized it and it made me wonder about this.

    I always start things with great intentions toward finishing them but I burn out quickly. I don't know how much of it is the INTj 'brainhoppin' and how much is the 4 but it sure does tick me off. At times I REALLY want things, and I KNOW that I could do it... and then the doubt sets in and the excuses and suddenly I'm sick of hearing myself. So then I get motivated again. Its a self-defeating cycle that never accomplishes anything. I am SO DAMN TIRED of living like this! I used to be so driven! I used to set my mind to something and come hell or high water I would make it happen. Somewhere along the way I decided that trying, that working for goals wasn't worth it. A lot of things that I had planned out in my INTJ brain that I thought were fool-proof blew up in my face and now its as if the confidence that I had is gone. Its been gone for years now and it pains me to remember how I used to be.

    Does that just happen as you get older? You give up on dreams and on making progress and just accept where you are?

    *sigh*

    If any of ye other 4's have this problem I'd love to hear from you. Or even anyone who has felt this way and found a way to believe in their ability to make progress again!

    I'm a terminator in socionics and I have a 3 wing, so I'm better off I guess? I don't know, you can't blame the 4 enneagram for this I don't think. Unless, of course, you want to say that the 4 gets lost in their own fantasies and ideas and therefore doesn't grasp the reality of a situation. That's true sometimes. Or sometimes we hold onto something for so long we don't let go of it, and leave it unresolved.

    That's my thought on the matter, anyway.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

    My thoughts on...
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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  7. #7
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    4s intensify their emotions to create an identify for themselves. Fear and self-doubt can be strong emotions. I have this problem also. I feed off the fear of not getting something done in time, and that in turn fuels my motivation to complete it, and then I get a temporary high from completing it, and then it's back to square one.

    I think this is a big problem for 4s because of our focus on identity. For me, if I focus too much on that, it's almost like anything I write or produce creates/reflects my identity. So, it's not just that it needs to get completed, but it needs to be as perfect as possible and it needs to reflect who I am as a person. Needless to say, this complicates matters.

    The Enneathought of the Day:

    Remember it is not feeling sorry for yourself that produces change, but self-knowledge and awareness. Today it's enough to see your stories about yourself more clearly.
    Your self-knowledge of the cycle you describe can lead to change. The feelings that accompany it likely will not. Move to 1: create an action plan and act on it to accomplish your goals.
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  8. #8
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    I'll have you know Misty M that the 4's ability to complete things is legendary.

    You are enabling your subconscious the inability script by using words that reinforce this as true in your subconscious and then this becomes your reality in the conscious.

    Certainly being unhealthy in your body will lend itself to this pattern and exaggerate the state you are in. When you experience good health you will know the difference.

    Just like a tv screen that you switch off at night to go to sleep. You'd feel sleep deprived if you couldn't switch off the tv screen when you went to sleep.

  9. #9
    Feelin' FiNe speculative's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    I used to be so driven! I used to set my mind to something and come hell or high water I would make it happen. Somewhere along the way I decided that trying, that working for goals wasn't worth it.
    Bolded emphasis added. Once you decide something, you make that a part of who you are, and so to act contrary would go against who you are which is not the way of the 4.

    Decide that trying and working for goals is worth it. Keep deciding this as much as necessary, until it becomes a part of who you are. You were once driven, goal-oriented, and successful, as you mentioned. The good thing is that since you were once these things, you know that you are capable of these things.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    You are enabling your subconscious the inability script by using words that reinforce this as true in your subconscious and then this becomes your reality in the conscious.
    Synapse knows the score here. You are very aware of your "story," so that is a good first step to transcending it.
    "How can I be, all I want to be,
    When all I want to do is strip away these stilled constraints
    And crush this charade, shred this sad, masquerade"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGeq5v7L3WM

  10. #10
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    I tend to finish most things....eventually. My INFJ plays into it, though, in that I tend to really hone in on one thing at a time, and once my brain switches gears, I really have to discipline myself to finish the last thing. The older I get, the better I am about this, I think (hope).

    Synapse-yes! Once I'm aware that I need to change in this area and recognize myself doing it, I'm an unstoppable force. I get LOTS done/finished.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

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