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  1. #31
    reflecting pool Typh0n's Avatar
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    I like the idea of type one, so much that I would sometimes like to be one.

  2. #32
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    whatever happened to "loving fiercely?"

    which i thought was a willingness to open up oneself to truly identify with the other's experience, to submit your will to your own care for their experience at times as much or more than your own, to let go of what you could not control in favor of your own inherent belief in your capacity to love that arises when you allow yourself to truly enter and be entered by another person emotionally? captured so perfectly in the beach house record "devotion" i kept talking about? to transfer that sense of power and magnanimity as an 8 into a commitment and dedication to serving an emotional truth that was bigger than you?

    also, i don't like 2s either.
    Beautiful.

    Perhaps a restatement is in order. There's equal measures of fear and awe for that place which you're describing. It makes me a bit fanatical, I guess. Those that evoke the trappings of intimacy for the personal over the perfectly interpenetrated are so hateful to me. I see it in the average 2 and in a lot of what's worst about the EFP tribe (it's never, ever meant to be about you). It's the ease with which they access that space. That careless ease. Can you blame me for hating them a little?

    But, no, I've never lost the faith.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  3. #33
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    whatever happened to "loving fiercely?"

    which i thought was a willingness to open up oneself to truly identify with the other's experience, to submit your will to your own care for their experience at times as much or more than your own, to let go of what you could not control in favor of your own inherent belief in your capacity to love that arises when you allow yourself to truly enter and be entered by another person emotionally? captured so perfectly in the beach house record "devotion" i kept talking about? to transfer that sense of power and magnanimity as an 8 into a commitment and dedication to serving an emotional truth that was bigger than you?

    also, i don't like 2s either.
    Beautiful.

    Perhaps a restatement is in order. There's equal measures of fear and awe for that place which you're describing. It makes me a bit fanatical, I guess. Those that evoke the trappings of intimacy for the personal over the perfectly interpenetrated are so hateful to me. I see it in the average 2 and in a lot of what's worst about the EFP tribe (it's never, ever meant to be about you). It's the ease with which they access that space. That careless ease. Can you blame me for hating them a little?

    But, no, I've never lost the faith.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  4. #34
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Nicely said.

    This is why I feel less resistance to integration than I have in the past (or stuff I would associate with ME growing positively as a person). I've resisted what I saw as an inner goody-good because it seemed so dull & dispassionate. But I see now it can really help me reach the potential I'm always lamenting I have wasted. And I have a great respect for positive 1 qualities, as far as consistency, integrity, and activity goes.

    As for actual 1s, I agree that when they have some obvious 7 traits (& even at average levels they will), then they can be rather likable. But when they get priggish and self-righteous and nit-picky, then I can't stand them. I think I fear something like that in myself, but you're right, the 4 "back-story" makes you less inclined to develop that side of the 1.
    Thanks! I think you're right to have a bit of healthy fear of the negative side of 1, that's kind of what prevents us from behaving that way I think. The positive 1 qualities are really what's helped me be able to share my art, expressiveness, inquisitiveness and character with people. I spent many years (as you said) frustrated over how much potential and ability I had that was going to waste. It wasn't until I started doing some work on my heart and my past, that I started growing the more pro-active, motivated qualities of 1. I actually think some of that came from engaging with people, telling my story and seeing how it helped to heal myself and others simultaneously. That's kind of the coolest thing about optimized 4's, our quest for deep truth and authenticity is fulfilled in the ability to see just that (and call it out too)! 1's see Right, 4's see Truth-- in my opinion anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    ...and of course I experience being 4 as very Fi. When you look at how types are often correlated to the functions, there are a lot of parallels with integration & the inferior functions.
    I am still not even a little knowledgeable about this stuff, but in my reading I could never figure out whether I leaned more toward Fi or Fe. Could you expand on why being a 4 feels very Fi to you? If that's a dumb question just say so.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  5. #35
    Senior Member _eric_'s Avatar
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    Can't say that I like any 3's, nor can I say that the traits/motivations of that type are anything that I desire in myself because they are directly opposing to how I am. It is also always one of my lowest scores when I test--along with 7 and 8--all of which are at ~20%, +/- ~10% depending on the test and when I've taken it.

  6. #36
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    Perhaps a restatement is in order. There's equal measures of fear and awe for that place which you're describing. It makes me a bit fanatical, I guess. Those that evoke the trappings of intimacy for the personal over the perfectly interpenetrated are so hateful to me. I see it in the average 2 and in a lot of what's worst about the EFP tribe (it's never, ever meant to be about you). It's the ease with which they access that space. That careless ease. Can you blame me for hating them a little?
    i really like this. as a four wing, i feel a laziness at times with respect to truly feeling my way into the tension between the personal and the perfectly interpenetrated, as you say. you just throw something over, carelessly, or pull something to your side, that isn't yours and isn't really skillful yet because you haven't allowed yourself to focus your awareness on your own feelings, the other's position, and the balance between the two, the contextual space encompassing where you can truly relate.

    i notice the 2 side often doesn't feel themselves. the 4 side often tends to cling to themselves so violently that they lose their sense of connection, and ultimately their only potential source of balance for their awareness to ground itself in something beyond its own black hole of a past, it's own interior without awareness of what is happening outside of it, almost total disconnection, just gravity that cannot see itself any more because it has enshrouded itself in its own darkness. in either overreaction, it's so easy to get off track. it's so easy to lose the interrelated elements of the situation.

    when 4s get really snarky and awful, so much of the time it's because of that 2 stress point acting up. the sense of connection gets clouded. they hate you because they are identifying with the worst of you. they hate you because they hate themselves and they hate themselves because they hate you. there's no process kneading the identification, the kind of knot, away, towards the ends, unraveling to recognize the polarity of the interaction. to fully own one's own feelings requires an openness to the world to be real. so it's not really at all relational at that point. it's fixed, and that kind of rigidity just creates further damage when it comes to one's own emotional life and the relationships that constitute it, that need balancing and adaptation and softness/looseness amidst that huge weave of competing connections, rather than solely relying control, because that doesn't foster a relational sense of well-being. it doesn't really build trust, or a sense of self that is fluid enough and adaptive enough to let go of itself either, which at times is clearly necessary and beneficial because it creates space for possible change, and is something relationships can't function without.

  7. #37
    Junior Member Huhuu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Do you enjoy the idea of your integration point? Do you tend to like people who are the same type as your integration point? Do you enjoy being integrated or being "healthy"?
    Seriously, no I don't like my integration type. Type 7s actually often annoy me. There's something in type 7 that I deep down long for, being bold, spontaneous and "free", but I also disapprove such things strongly since my point of view in general is very very different, life just doesn't go like that. I think people must take certain things seriously, plan ahead and take responsibility no matter what and usually I like all that very much but just sometimes I get tired of it and wish I could just "be" and let it all be for a while.

  8. #38
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Type 8's tend to intimidate me. They seem too prone to overconfidence and also get angered too easily. I tend to have more trouble getting along with type 8 than any other type. I do like some level of confidence and assertiveness but in the 8's that I've known, they come on too strong for my comfort. I prefer interacting with more low-key and laid-back people. Some of the 8's are not very healthy ones and if I knew more healthy 8's my attitude towards them might be more positive.
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