lol That's what got me confused I think, I do get emotional and insecure but I am also happy for the most part and can be optimistic. It's more about having a dichotomy between 6 and 9. I want to be happy and optimistic all the time, but there's an underlying insecurity that gets me sad... very often. Whenever I write a serious forum post and I see that someone's responded to it, I automatically brace myself for harsh objections so I'm prepared emotionally. It's a constant battle between this insecurity and a conscious effort to be happy.
What really prompted this change was reading all the extended tritype descriptions on personality cafe. The 479 one was OK, like it sorta fit me, but I didn't feel attached to it. The 469 one was emotional. It was "Omg is this me? Please don't let this be me", which was an emotional response that I didn't get from any other description. It hurt because it's true. I'm not quite as happy as I thought I was, I had a tritype blindspot. It's all good now though. I never wanted to be a 'healer' anyway, 'seeker' sounds much more me