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  1. #11
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    ....Well I'm not sure how much you can handle on your plate right now, but I don't see why you can't have both. Get a job and get an education on the side. The only thing is, your education is going to take much longer with a full time job, but its not impossible to take one or two classes with a job and kids.

    In the end its up to you. Honestly, you aren't living for yourself anymore with 3 kids. You're going to have to do what is best for them.

  2. #12
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    Assuming you are able to support your family with your student income and that your new skills will actually be marketable, are there any other reason why you feel guilty about pursuing your dreams? After all, you're not slacking off. It's short term pain for long term gain for yourself as well as your kids.

  3. #13
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I wrote a PM but you don't take them? Ok, an edited version:

    Whether they will resent it...maybe. Depends on the kids, depends how extreme the financial need is, how long it lasts for, and how you all cope with it. A lot of people I know resent their families for making poor financial decisions during their childhood. I imagine they'd be more likely to resent it if it were a drop in standard of living rather than a constant, though. Them resenting it and it being the best choice aren't necessarily mutually exclusive though. People do like to complain.

    At the same time, if you're miserable, your kids aren't going to be happy either. So as you know, it isn't an easy question.

    Have you talked to real-life friends about it? They'd have a better idea of your situation and what your options are...not to mention it's probably a lot different going to school wherever you are, canada has kinda weird school systems.
    My ESFJ and ISFJ friend say the work first study later is the way to go. My IxxP friends (fill in the blanks) and my ESFP friend believe I should study now, bear with it, and reap the gains later.

    They know my situation quite well. It's not that I can't afford to eat or pay my bills, I can, but that's it. I can't afford carpet and stuff like that, at least not without saving that involves pittance saving per week and an end date further away than I can see. (I'm pretty impatient)

    My eldest son (10) says I should study because he knows how much I want it, my 2 youngest really don't notice because mummy provides for them quite well.

    I can talk myself into and out of both options in favour of the other.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit View Post
    ....Well I'm not sure how much you can handle on your plate right now, but I don't see why you can't have both. Get a job and get an education on the side. The only thing is, your education is going to take much longer with a full time job, but its not impossible to take one or two classes with a job and kids.

    In the end its up to you. Honestly, you aren't living for yourself anymore with 3 kids. You're going to have to do what is best for them.
    I think that would only be possible as long as it was a few days study a few days work, otherwise I would simply be working to pay childcare, and wouldn't gain anything from it other than my kids losing more time with me.

    As I said above, the first year (sept 09 start) would be an intensive 5 full days a week study, so working at the same time is not possible.

    Either way though my step into work or study will involve another year of no salary because both avneues require one year of study, it;s just one would lead to employment straight after, and one would lead to 3 more years of study. But then it could turn out that I only need to attend uni a couple days a week so I could work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Not_Me View Post
    Assuming you are able to support your family with your student income and that your new skills will actually be marketable, are there any other reason why you feel guilty about pursuing your dreams? After all, you're not slacking off. It's short term pain for long term gain for yourself as well as your kids.
    Yes, you're right. I just wouldn't be me if I didn't find a way to judge myself for whatever decision I made lol.

    Anyway I think I may aswell do the access course, and get to the stage where I am applying for uni and seeing what days I end up doing, because I could work the other days which would help out.

    I know I want the study more because it meets my career plan requirements, and I remember what I get like when I have no job satisfaction.

    Thanks for everyone who offered imput, it was interesting to see other peoples angle, and of course to hear from less fruitloopy people than myself.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

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  4. #14
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I think you should get the education you want.

    Giving up personal satisfaction and job satisfaction for financial satisfaction isn't something you should do unless you absolutely have no choice. If you want it, and there's a way you can make it work so that you get the education and keep everyone alive, then you should really do it.

  5. #15
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I think you should get the education you want.

    Giving up personal satisfaction and job satisfaction for financial satisfaction isn't something you should do unless you absolutely have no choice. If you want it, and there's a way you can make it work so that you get the education and keep everyone alive, then you should really do it.
    Yeah, I think that's the best way forward.

    If I went down the work route, it would be temporary knowing that I would eventually be back at the stage I am now, and going back would mean learning to handle a drop in finances. Far better to get it out of the way now before I become accustomed to a higher standard of living lol that way when I do finally get this over and done with, it will be up up and over the rainbow from then onwards (touch wood).
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

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  6. #16
    brat Mitzy's Avatar
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    since everyones getting fired and people are dropping like flies in the work place, i dont recommend you to look for a job because i highly doubt they will hire you. id say go to school instead
    She talks pretty but says mean things

  7. #17
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mitzy View Post
    since everyones getting fired and people are dropping like flies in the work place, i dont recommend you to look for a job because i highly doubt they will hire you. id say go to school instead
    True lol then again you never know, my looks and winning charm could cinch the deal for me.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Yeah, I think that's the best way forward.

    If I went down the work route, it would be temporary knowing that I would eventually be back at the stage I am now, and going back would mean learning to handle a drop in finances. Far better to get it out of the way now before I become accustomed to a higher standard of living lol that way when I do finally get this over and done with, it will be up up and over the rainbow from then onwards (touch wood).
    Yeah I reckon you're right. You know what they say the good being the enemy of the great.

  9. #19
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Yeah I reckon you're right. You know what they say the good being the enemy of the great.

    I like that, I hadn't heard it before.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  10. #20
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I agree that we don't know the "dire" of your situation.

    My husband and I do trade offs, I've had people tell me that I need a bigger house. Well... ok.. then you buy it for me. My kids are always fed and have all the clothes and things they need. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up into what we are "supposed" to have vs. what humans actually need.

    What would you want your children to do in your situation? You train them every day. You could look at it two ways, really. If you go to work you are showing them that current problems are more pressing than holding off for a possibly better future. (some could call it holding off for a desire) If you go to school you could look at it as teaching them that good things are worth waiting for and working hard for and to follow their dreams.

    I would be careful with the "son says" thing. That can just be him trying to please you. They would probably follow you off a cliff if you said you wanted to do that.

    Just remember, if not now, when?

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