Typing best friend and a former band member

[Halfjillhalfjack]

And....I mean two different people !

the first one is my best friend. we have an extremely deep connection and "clicked" immediately, and understand each other perfectly, having really similar perspective to things.......

1)
- she studies german literature and english, (not for becoming a teacher), and loves it. nevertheless she had doubts concerning her choice of study.....
- she generally has doubts concerning many personal things, her relationship e.g. (asking questions like: does she really love her bf? do they really fit together?)....little things going wrong can really throw her off (?) and lead her to question everything)
- she is extremely idealistic and really a perfectionist. especially concerning her studies, but also in private. she takes grades as a confirmation of her intelligence, and is extremely afraid of failing..... she has little self-confidence, even though she is one of the most brilliant persons I know....
- she is extremely creative, even though she doesn't write/paint or anything....but even in her ordinary use of words she is extremely creative, creates new metaphors all the time, or plays with them, creates new images, connects images etc.....
- she says of herself that she cannot really listen to her heart when making decisions.....rather listens to her head....questions a lot of her decisions
- wants to maintain her sense of self in a relationship, and doesn't approve of simbiotic relationships in which people seem to lose their sense of self....
- is a very loyal and caring friend, and wants to know the personal things and problems that are on the mind of her friends..... we argued about that a while ago when she felt she didn't know what was going on in my life
- she is rather organized, keeps her flat clean, but is prone to forgetting her keys or things like these
- she has really high expectations of herself and of others (especially in her relationship)
- projects things on herself (as e.g. compares herself to literary figures or people in movies, if she can relate to them)
- would love to be a journalist but is not confident in herself and thinks she will never achieve this
- can be really sensitive when it comes to friendships and relationships, can be easily hurt by people close to her (sometimes it takes some time until she talks about what has hurt her, but she eventually always does)
- compares herself to others a lot, but never comes off well in comparison
- she can become very angry and is prone to "letting her anger out", even concerning people she doesn't know.... in those cases she doesn't care what other people think of her, and this was where I somehow started to doubt that she had to be a F.....

I don't know if this is enough information...... I always thought she is an INFJ as me, because we have such a unique connection I've never had with anyone else......I asked her to do some test, and she came off as INTJ...... how would you type her? do you see any other type in her??


2)
- he has studied mathematics and (?) statistics.....
- very organized and disciplined, finished his studies extremely fast, seems very ambitious in everything he does (also playing his instrument) and I think is good at everything he does
- played the bass in my band, and was very creative concerning inventing new basslines (?) and structuring our songs (dynamics and structure)
- always says what he thinks
- he has read always anything which he considers to be part of the literary canon, but when I talked to him about that he said he never interprets literature and he could never imagine interpreting it (like me in my studies), he said he was already bad at that at school.....and said he just reads it for fun
- he know a lot of people, mostly girls, and can be quite charming, but.....don't know, not really in some kind of ladykiller sense......gives a lot of parties and things like those, likes to celebrate his birthday with many people....
- in the other hand, he is EXTREMELY secretive about himself..... I have known him for 5 years and we saw each other at least twice a week, but he'd never talk about personal things like relationships and how he feels concerning personal things..... he'd give his opinion, and still not reveal much about himself....extremely hard to describe
- cared about being cool to a certain extent concerning his favoured sub-culture (indie) and was very aware of his style of clothing and his haircut
- made a lot of word-plays in written language (emails), not so much during the rehearsals of my band
- never joined discussions in our band that were connected to some.....rather....."humanistic" topics.... which involved interpreting lyrics, literature etc....

I'm afraid that's it at the moment...... I'm really rather clueless about his type.....I have a certain idea but I'd like to know what you think first.....

thanks aaaaaaaallooooottt in advance!

 

[Craft]

1. INFJ mistyped as INTJ.

2. ExTP.

guesses.

 

[Aphex]

1. ENFP
2. ExTJ

They're just my basic interpretations.

 

[Rebe]

Regarding the She, she sounds a lot like me, she could be INFP, can't really tell if she's I or E from your description though. The N and F is really telling. What are the ways that she is different from you?

 

[Halfjillhalfjack]

Thanx for your ideas!
I generally thought E_T_ for the guy, too....
and for the She:
...mh.... I once thought ENFP too for a while........ INFP could be, too.... I think if she is not I__J she is definitely NF because of the way we relate to each other....
I think we differ.......mainly in what I said about speaking up to people. I think she is more direct than me, and if she feels she is treated wrongly she will complain (which I won't do very often)..... even though she is concerned with what other people think of her, we differ in that respect....if she feels she's right she stands her ground, no matter what other people think of her. she may be a bit more impulsive than me concerning her emotional reactions. Mh, I mean, concerning showing her emotions....I think our emotional reactions are often almost identical, but she will let them show a bit more than me. another difference is maybe a certain creativity........as I said she is very creative in making up innovative metaphors also when she is talking to people (but also in emails), and I mostly can do this with written language....... I have a hard time determining whether she is an E or I, too....because she is highly introspective, but I know this can also be related to N only, and it's hard to say where she gets her energy from.......

 

[Aphex]

Thanx for your ideas!
I generally thought E_T_ for the guy, too....
and for the She:
...mh.... I once thought ENFP too for a while........ INFP could be, too.... I think if she is not I__J she is definitely NF because of the way we relate to each other....
I think we differ.......mainly in what I said about speaking up to people. I think she is more direct than me, and if she feels she is treated wrongly she will complain (which I won't do very often)..... even though she is concerned with what other people think of her, we differ in that respect....if she feels she's right she stands her ground, no matter what other people think of her. she may be a bit more impulsive than me concerning her emotional reactions. Mh, I mean, concerning showing her emotions....I think our emotional reactions are often almost identical, but she will let them show a bit more than me. another difference is maybe a certain creativity........as I said she is very creative in making up innovative metaphors also when she is talking to people (but also in emails), and I mostly can do this with written language....... I have a hard time determining whether she is an E or I, too....because she is highly introspective, but I know this can also be related to N only, and it's hard to say where she gets her energy from.......

I'm standing behind ENFP for her. The fact that she cares what people think so much and needs to be complimented often to be happy suggests E, and the fact that she's reflective and introspective could just be the N. Besides, ENFPs are often said to be some of the most introverted extroverts.