The Drives of Extroversion

[á´…eparted]

This thread is directed to the extroverts of the forum, but as always anyone can participate.

What are your drives for extroversion? The past week or so has given me a lot of food for thought about many things type related. However, extroversion perhaps contains the most, despite it being the most "simple". I've had a lot of preconceived notion on what extroversion is, and is not, and has resulted in having an unreliable internal scale of how extroverted a person is. There's little use in discussing what those were though as it will ultimately be distracting.

Conversations with others have lead me to realize one key thing about how I experience extroversion in myself: The external world is more stimulating and has more to offer than the internal world. By extension, other people have more to offer. When I was little I had a very active imagination and did quite a bit with it (and the core of it still remains today). I am an only child so I had to use it to self entertain. Ultimately though, interacting with others just felt more stimulating. More importantly, interacting with others got rid of the bored so much more quickly and efficiently. As I see it, other people will always provide something new and stimulating with the right input, further though, they will reliably and predictably give something new and novel with input. It makes little sense to me to keep things to myself (but of course there are things that we must), and I also want to hear others share theirs as well. How else are we to connect and understand one another? There are other methods, but this is the method that makes sense to me. We have language for a reason.

It can be boiled down to this, my drives towards extroversion are:

+ The external world is more stimulating than the internal world.
+ Other people always provide something new and stimulating.
+ Always wanting some form of stimulation that doesn't come from the self.
+ Makes little sense to keep things in.
+ Strong desire to outwardly share thoughts and feelings.
+ Wanting others to outwardly share thoughts and feelings.

Fellow extroverts, what are your drives, why are they your drives? How do you experience extroversion overall? I feel like if enough people provide input into why they are extroverted, it will give a better understand of what extroversion actually is. There's a lot of stereotypes/notions out there that very few supposed extroverts relate to.

Discuss.

 

[Qlip]

It may not be observable from the forum, but I am often viewed by outsiders as an introvert; I often want nothing else but to retreat to my home, at social events I can and often do just sit in a corner and watch everybody. I was recently described as, "standoffish, until I got to know you, then not at all." But, I know that I'm an extrovert.

I know because when I spend large amounts of time alone, I actually start losing a sense of self. It embarrasses me to admit it, but me feeling like an individual somehow is connected to being around others. Also, I have trouble processing my thoughts in a complete way while being alone. I can sit alone and race through a thousand ideas in my head, build intellectual castles from thought-dust, but until I share them in some way with somebody else, they rarely solidify or find any place of meaning for me.

My focus has always been taking in everything I can from the outside, reforming it and releasing it, seeing how it flies and repeating the process.

 

[Hawthorne]

Despite being socially reserved, I consider myself an extrovert because of my external focus and weaker internal awareness. I feel a similar drive to engage, experience, play, mold, be molded, consume, and be consumed by things that are outside of me. It's just rarely other people.

The stimulation I get from engaging others is inconsistent. I enjoy having someone to bounce ideas off of but I find most people, or at least the initial process of getting to know them, too predictable and not very interesting. This poses its own problem though because I am energized by interaction but only certain kinds.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that constant feedback is going to be a central drive among extroverts. Some undefined need to see ourselves reflected in our environments. Some sort of "verification" of our existence maybe? I'm not nearly insightful (or introspective) enough to guess at the motivations behind this tbh.

 

[BadOctopus]

YASSS. I was actually hoping some conscientious extrovert would start a thread like this. Even though I am an introvert, and derive energy from my internal world, I have a lot of extroverted friends, and I would like to be able to understand them better.

Subscribed!

 

[Redbone]

Like [MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION], I'm probably seen as more introverted by others. I do spend and need a great deal of time alone and I tend to desire one-on-one time with a person over "groups". But I am an extrovert--I take the outer world for granted; it's the surface that I bounce my ball against. Without that, there's nothing. I need it.

 

[Mole]

If we look at introversion and extroversion through the Bell Curve, we find there are only the tiniest number of introverts and an equally tiny number of extroverts at either end of the Curve. Showing that mbti gives no useful information about introverted or extroverted personalities.

 

[Qlip]

Like [MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION], I'm probably seen as more introverted by others. I do spend and need a great deal of time alone and I tend to desire one-on-one time with a person over "groups". But I am an extrovert--I take the outer world for granted; it's the surface that I bounce my ball against. Without that, there's nothing. I need it.

Yep, I get to that place, I occasionally feel like Godzilla. Sometimes my actions are just trampling all over people. Half of being better is being more conscientious, the other half is understanding that the world belongs to me as well.

 

[á´…eparted]

[MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION], [MENTION=23915]Sinclair[/MENTION], that's interesting that you both point out being socially reserved. I've met quite a number of extroverts who cite the same thing. Though I don't consider myself socially reserved, I do understand it since there are some unfamiliar situations I occasionally hit that result in entering those modes. It could be a functional difference on why not everyone seems to enjoy associating with others. Would you consider interaction with others incidental towards working with the external world?

I agree constant feedback is something else I value (and in some cases need). Less so as the years go by, as there is great utility in functioning within onesself without the need for it. I'm not sure as verification of existance for myself, but in a broad sense I think it fits. In essence it's like taking pulse on how things stand. I think extroversion pays a lot of focus to the external world partly because many people are simply required to interact with it so much. Some reject that and do their own thing, others work with it. For those that do, "checking in" is needed to make sure things are going as they should. What that "should" is, depends on the individual.

If we look at introversion and extroversion through the Bell Curve, we find there are only the tiniest number of introverts and an equally tiny number of extroverts at either end of the Curve. Showing that mbti gives no useful information about introverted or extroverted personalities.

Well, I am at the end of the curve, and I am interested in discussing it with others that may or may not be. I find it useful and interesting, and others do as well.

Take your agenda elsewhere, it is not welcome, particularly in threads I create. To be more blunt: if you don't want, or are unable to positive contribute to the thread, then don't say anything. I see it as a distraction and derailment.

 

[fetus]

Input from my E side.

My drive for extroversion is simply sharing. I'm extremely introspective, have excellent self-awareness, and both need and enjoy time to be myself. But for too long, I start feeling a little bit...deflated. I'm in my head a lot, so being with my friends gives me an outlet to dish out my ideas. When I have an issue, I discuss it with my trusted few. The things that get carefully stirred around in my brain can become too heavy after a while. I have to dish out the brain stew. I plan a lot of my actions in advance, so I need that social time to actually go through with all of them. Ideas, problems, dreams--I'm a sharer. Being a sharer makes me inclined to be a talker (when I'm around my circle).

Yeah. That's my E side.

 

[Cellmold]

These days I more readily consider myself an extravert, but a light one.

People are.... difficult and while I'm not really discerning I often think I should be, or more so. Then I find myself being more gregarious and talkative.

Probably more of a balanced spectrum for myself, maybe. I don't really like large gatherings or parties, although I will dance and enjoy myself at some if more comfortable. But hey extravert doesn't necessarily mean loud party person, not by a long shot.

Often I use people a lot, as in, try to elicit reactions for my own pleasure and occasional feedback. I do have a serious problem working in a team though, I like doing my own thing in my own way and usually learn better like that.

The most energy I get is from realising something or understanding something new that makes me all enthusiastic.

Ideas baby!

 

[Bush]

Let's see. Thought-vomit here.

This is not the most selfless, virtuous, sunshine-and-rainbows, kumbaya answer one can give. I'm the worst FJ on the planet.

,

I enjoy one-on-ones when (a) I'm giving out some those humanizing pleasantries (why not make people feel human?), or (b) there's something neat, interesting, etc. to discuss and share, which of course occurs a lot with my closest. I can't do an extended one-on-one that's just social mores -- boring as hell; same conversation, same-ish person, different name. I'll strike up a one-on-one, though, if I know or sense that someone's going to lead to something, whether for them or for me.

Groups and audiences are fun. Especially audiences. At parties or gatherings, I like to assess the situation a bit before I delve in. I'll also leave if the whole shebang gets boring or useless. Because of all of that, I'm often seen as introverted until I start talking.

Feedback is good, too. So is pulse-checking. [MENTION=24479]themightyfetus[/MENTION] and [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION]'s thoughts resonate with me.

At my best, I can lose myself in the dynamic. Kick back and enjoy the ride, you know?

The main drive, the core of all of this.. I'd like to grow as much as possible -- or at least know that I'm not stagnant or declining. A large part of that is making an impact. Although I have learned to slow down, wisdom is still one of the highest virtues one can attain, which involves a feedback loop between the internal and external.

 

[Qlip]

[MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION], [MENTION=23915]Sinclair[/MENTION], that's interesting that you both point out being socially reserved. I've met quite a number of extroverts who cite the same thing. Though I don't consider myself socially reserved, I do understand it since there are some unfamiliar situations I occasionally hit that result in entering those modes. It could be a functional difference on why not everyone seems to enjoy associating with others. Would you consider interaction with others incidental towards working with the external world?
...

I do think it's function order related. As much as I like to be around people, they warp me. This is natural, I attune to who they are and tend to inhabit that landscape. As a P Ne-Fi, I have a pretty flexible personality, but I'm not a shape shifter, I need to take time and recalibrate myself and find my center. Interaction = Immersion.

 

[cascadeco]

Interesting thread. I look forward to hearing more extrovert's responses.

It seems one consistent thing is the need to bounce ideas/feelings/thoughts off of people to get solidity in them or redefine/finetune them -- that moreso than the actual act of socializing, which is more of the stereotypical definition.

In that sense I remain introverted, I much prefer/need to figure out my ideas/thoughts/impressions on my own.

However I very much relate to other aspects of some things people have mentioned, which is having a strong draw to things outside myself -- in my case, probably pretty sensory / action-oriented types of things; I also am not totally drained being around people; though I don't relate to many. Also I start going crazy if I'm stuck in my head/ all by myself for more than a few days, assuming I'm stuck inside and not out and about doing something. I sort of wonder if some of these elements begin crossing out of the intro/extro realm and S/N starts coming into play. Or, maybe some of this stuff has nothing to do with actual cognition.

I'm probably more in between in some ways on the introvert/extrovert scale, but in other ways am super duper introverted -- in terms of being a pretty quiet person and not really having a need to share everything going on / not needing to bounce things off of people (for the most part).

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that constant feedback is going to be a central drive among extroverts. Some undefined need to see ourselves reflected in our environments. Some sort of "verification" of our existence maybe? .

This is true for the ENFP I know, and true to me as well.

Probably some ENTJ would be too proud to say so

But, to me, this is not my very 1st motivation, at least consciously.

My 1st one is to explore the world, find and bring into it some values, some stimulation, being autonomous while having fun,

validate them as well...

As an extrovert I somewhat notice I can get bored with some people around me, but never when I am alone. Freedom of movement, soul and ideas is my priority.