I'm more or less in this situation.
I have mentioned elsewhere that the organization where I work is downsizing and my position (and most of my division) is being eliminated. There is a possibility of making a lateral move to another work area (and investing a lot of time and effort learning new skills), or I'll be pushed out into early retirement (with a pension that's livable but a lot smaller than if I had remained at work for 10 more years).
Each option involves a lot of variables; the early retirement option alone involves a number of different financial packages and exit strategies. It's way too much for my Auxiliary Ne to handle in one gulp. I have some Dominant Fi preferences; but if I want to make a responsible choice I really need to crunch the numbers and do careful comparisons.
Meantime, the situation is a cause of significant stress. Morale sucks at work, and the wife is agitating to know what's going on and make sure she has input into the process too. I can't do any long-term planning at work or at home; everything's on hold. And because of the stress, when I try to sit down and examine the situation in detail, stressed Si tends to seize on a couple main details and obsess on them; stressed Te just wants to grab a big hammer and bludgeon everything and everyone into order.
Like I said, Ne and Fi really aren't much help in this situation. The way to fix this is to use Tertiary Si and Inferior Te constructively and without stress. For example, I use Te to break the situation down into separate options and approaches (i.e., break out lots of file folders and try to impose some kind of organization), then I take each single option or approach and use Si to crunch numbers methodically, going through the steps without worrying where I'm headed or how much time it's taking me--simply focusing on covering the bases and mastering the details.
Meantime Te can also be used to manage resources in the workplace and home--set up some boundaries, prioritize, draw up some timelines, and do some scheduling. That way I'm getting the necessary stuff done, postponing what's unnecessary, and not feeling overwhelmed by events.
Handled this way, Te keeps me proactive and in charge of developments; and Si is methodical and covers all the bases so that I know that I'm making decisions with the best available information. Once I have that foundation in place, then I can bring Ne and Fi into play. I can do some broad comparisons and rule out some approaches as distinctly unfavorable; other approaches will be sufficiently equal in value that I can afford to indulge a personal preference without feeling irresponsible or exposed to some unforeseen risk.
If the wife or coworkers want to compare notes, provide input, or second-guess my decisions, it's not a problem. I've done due diligence; I'm prepared to make my case, defend my decisions, and/or consider fresh input without getting defensive about it. I even consider it good Te to compare notes with others and see what resources they are using and if they are coming to the same conclusions.
The downsizing process will be continuing for a couple more months yet, so some parts of the process are still on hold. But I've already been able to rule out or trim down some of the options early along, and everything is nicely organized in folders so that I can break out all the paperwork and update it as my workplace releases new information and demands new action.
All in all, proper use of Tertiary Si and Inferior Te give me confidence that I'm on top of the situation. Even if the end result isn't perfect, I can at least say that I made the best of the available options and then file the experience away and move on.
Anyway, maybe that example might help you get a handle on your situation. I would suggest that you simply focus in on the details (use your Si) and get methodical in your approach. Break out some file folders, draw up flow charts and schedules, and develop each step one at a time.
It feels a little bit soul-killing, because your Ne wants to leapfrog past all those details. But focusing on the details and doing things by the numbers will help get rid of the stress, and before you know it you'll have a solid product in hand that your Ne can process and digest.
