Tertiary Attracted to Primary Function

[incubustribute]

Of all the things that people use the MBTI to determine, determining relationship success is the worst.

+1

Seriously people, quit doing that to yourselves.

 

[sofmarhof]

Alright. I will from here on consider myself a member of the ISFJ fan club without trying to make a pattern out of it.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I can see how an ISTP might be attracted an INTJ, but what makes an INTJ attracted to an ISFP ? I'm not even sure see how an INFJ might be attracted to an ISFP.

I can only speak for myself but my attracting INTJ's for me is purely on the friendship level. I get no "spark" from them. If it wasn't for our common interests I doubt I'd be dating my INFJ currently. I think it would be pretty boring.

I could see how INFJ and ISFP could work. I don't know how they would meet but yeah. It could work. Anything can work.

INTJ and ISFP? That's a bit tougher.

 

[Chloe]

ENFP > ESTJ, ENTJ [Te]

INFP> ISFJ, ISTJ [Si]

I'm attracted to some ENTJs, if they really are N and to some I'm not.
I'm not attracted to ANY SJs, in ANY form, anywhere, at least not for real - maybe something initially but that's more unhealthy attraction when i'm stressed or something and happens with 1 of 100 SJs, if, and lasts very shortly.
+though i can be friends with SFJ girls... but that's other thing.

 

[Ulaes]

why teritary?

 

[Spamtar]

I'm attracted to some ENTJs, if they really are N and to some I'm not.
I'm not attracted to ANY SJs, in ANY form, anywhere, at least not for real - maybe something initially but that's more unhealthy attraction when i'm stressed or something and happens with 1 of 100 SJs, if, and lasts very shortly.
+though i can be friends with SFJ girls... but that's other thing.

I tend to be a little prejudice against SJs however my mom is an isfj and is my favorite person in the world. It was funny her and my enfp dad went on a train trip for thanksgiving and when I was playing cards with dad she would actively prevent him from cheating. Fs take some of the harsher edges off SJs.

 

[Udog]

why teritary?

Tertiary shares the same energy source (introversion/extroversion) as the primary. Because of this, tertiary is considered the 'relief function', called upon as an alternative when the dominate function isn't getting the job done.

Romantically, it creates an opportunity where someone's stressed state naturally aligns with someone's strong state. Not only is there potential connection, but there is the added comfort which may add an intangible element to it.

 

[the state i am in]

Another pattern of those eight pairs is that each one's inferior is the other's secondary.

So... we consciously admire our tertiary function, a minor weakness, as a dominant function as others.
But we unconsciously admire our inferior function, a major weakness, so we like it as a secondary in others while as a dominant we would find it overwhelming.

I know it's not quite right to refer to them as "weaknesses" but I don't know what else to call them.

i like this.

The tertiary is carried by the Child complex (while dominant is hero, and aux. is parent), so the tertiary will tend to look up to its hero and parent counterparts in others.

Too much of others' dom or aux version of your tertiary will become intimidating or smothering.
It's s similar dynamic for the inferior.

i agree with this and with athenian. these relationships seem to attract a very strange and dysfunctional imbalance, preying on inadequacies. and not introducing new functions to shore up serious weak spots (which is very helpful, either a new judgment pair or a new perceptual pair).

I can see how an ISTP might be attracted an INTJ, but what makes an INTJ attracted to an ISFP ? I'm not even sure see how an INFJ might be attracted to an ISFP.

intjs see isfps as stylish, physically present, physically aware, socially self-confident, warm, and lovable. oh so cute and adorable. intjs love adorable. they see isfps as designer teddy bears in human form.

auxilary Se is appealing for injs period. Fi can be too weighty and heavy for infjs, for intjs they naturally understand it, but can detach and move on with Te. infjs can get a little too bogged down in someone else's emotions and it can start to cause one end of the ship to capsize. istps share functions with infjs (same quadra), so they have Ti which we seriously admire, we have Ni which they seriously admire, and we both have the other's inferior as our aux. we are attracted to their social/sexual competitiveness, they are attracted to our mental/emotional sensitivity, gentleness, awareness. we immediately see the whole of them.

with that said, for me an istp would be a suicide attempt waiting to happen. perhaps both ways (considered making a tactful murder suicide joke here, but decided to withhold for the sake of good taste).

Of all the things that people use the MBTI to determine, determining relationship success is the worst.

i disagree. they show stock part relationships right out of the box. which is far from saying they are all-inclusive or determine the whole of a relationship's success rating. yet, they show the basics with striking transparency. subjective experience, psychological health/resiliency/balance/stress/practical success, enneagram defenses (ego formation), etc all play a large part as well. as do cultural factors, the thin gray line between aesthetics and ethics, etc. but throwing out all analysis bc analysis is limited is a rather pointless view, collapsing all ideas and perspectives into nothing.

 

[Totenkindly]

Guardian/Rational
ISFJ (SiFe) > INTP (TiNe)

Projecting outwards from this one pairing I have first-hand experience of, it all depends on attitude:

• If you are open to seeing each other's approach as legitimate, it's an awesome opportunity for growth because you catalyze the development of each other's ter/inf.
• If you are bent on making them behave like you and "winning," you are gonna have a miserable time. I mean, it's utterly hellacious.

Also, you both "complement" each other beautifully. You both naturally can develop each other's strengths, while at the same time they can take the lead in their area of strength and you in yours. The bases are typically covered.

 

[WoodsWoman]

Having read through most of this I've got to say it doesn't resonate with me as an INFP having been married to an ENTJ. Even now I find NTs top my list. However, having learned about MBTI and hanging out on this and other MBTI based forums I believe I could make a relationship work with any type if it started off at all well.

 

[cafe]

I know that I like my INTP a lot. We are very compatible. So it works one way. My INTP also likes me a lot and I don't think he would be compatible with an ISFJ, though there might be an initial attraction if the ISFJ was fascinated with him.

 

[paintmuffin]

ENTP > ESFJ, ENFJ [Fe]
ESFJ> ENFP, ENTP [Ne]

Sounds like you're setting up ENTPs and ESFJs. No thanks. I have a close ESFJ friend, and that's hard enough, but DATING someone like that would be a DISASTER.

Tertiary-primary relationships seem like they'd cause a lot of, i dunno, jealousy. i find that my ESFJ friend and I spend a lot of our time together bitching about how we wish we had more of the others' strengths.

 

[Kasper]

I echo what BBNB said early in the thread.

Don't believe this kind of pairing works so well for xNTPs. I like (even prefer) Fe over Fi but do not gel so well with Fe doms. I don't think the theory has to work for all types to be accurate or hold merit though.