social dynamics

[greenfairy]

My ENFJ friend is in my foundations of democracy class. There is this other guy too who I think is kind of cute. He's skinny and liberal with dreadlocks. He's been talking to my friend. I thought at first, 'Cool we can all three be friends.' I said to her when we hung out after class that I thought he was kind of cute, and she said he's not her type because she doesn't like dreadlocks, because it implies a person is a dirty hippie (literally, because you have to not wash your hair). I've tried to interact with him a couple of times because I thought he might be interesting to talk to, but he didn't really respond. Last time we were all three walking to the library they were having a debate about capitalism and I tried to jump in, but it didn't work at all, and I ended up feeling left out. Especially because she went from there to her car and he followed her. I suspected he was interested in her before, and now I strongly suspect it. It's not as though I really care, because I didn't have a complete crush on him, and I'm casually seeing someone else who is way more awesome. But I do feel sort of socially rejected. I wish he could just talk to me as a friend, because I like talking to people, and I'm trying to be more extroverted. Well, she isn't interested in him anyway, so ha. Not that I would care if she was. I'd be happy for them. And being friends with a couple is sometimes easier than it is with individual people.

 

[Thalassa]

I know what you mean about being friends with a couple is sometimes easier than it is with individual people.

However, I've found that's only true with good, healthy couples who are happy together, and often people who have been dating long enough to at least be living together.

Try not to worry so much about this guy; maybe it's because you appreciate him and she doesn't that you don't understand his silent rejection. But maybe he's one of those people who is only attracted to those who don't appreciate him, and moves away from those who appreciate him.

You don't need someone like that anyway.

 

[greenfairy]

Thanks, I hadn't thought of it that way. Fi wisdom.

 

[Dudesowin]

I know what you mean I can't stand debates especially anything to do with capitalism. My thoughts are put your money where your mouth is there see instant results you all suck now I walk out the room lol. And debates seriously they are all about douche appearances and illogical persuasion, how long you can keep spinning that circular logic. If people aren't laughing they aren't thinking, if you want some sound advice go watch a comedian.