Chimerical
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2008
- Messages
- 898
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w5
Well, I remembered something this morning. I'm most likely a feeling type. I sure act like one, but I'm emotionally distant to a lot of things and I remember why.
When I was a little kid I honestly cared about everyone, even fictional characters, to a point where some movies made me feel so bad that I felt this horrible feelling in my heart and stomache and generally felt weak.
It's when something of a high magnatude happens that I wish wasn't true and I'm being shown with evidence that it is. I'm accepting it and at the same time trying to reject it because it's too much to take it.
I remember a movie I watched when I was about 8 where some woman is murdered in cold blood and the hero stands by and lets it happen [mainly because if he gave himself up to save her he wouldn't be able to save everyone else]. She screamed and screamed about how she didn't want to die, and though I knew it was a movie I couldn't take it. I wanted to leave the room, but I wasn't really able to move. I was in shock and couldn't stop thinking about it the next week.
9.11.2001 had the same effect on me, only it lasted a few months. The feeling was generally the same feeling.
Then when I played Megaman X4 for the first time I didn't pay attention to the story. I got stuck on the last boss and wasn't able to defeat him. The next day my friend plays through it and I'm watching the story and notice that the boss kills millions of people. I started to feel that queazy feeling again. I didn't want to think about it, but couldn't stop thinking about it. Next time I played the game I was determined to win because of what this fictional character had done to millions of other fictional characters. I beat the boss without getting hit once.
Then, there's the whore thing.
My first crush was in highschool. It was Michelle Anderson.
When I was a little kid I honestly cared about everyone, even fictional characters, to a point where some movies made me feel so bad that I felt this horrible feelling in my heart and stomache and generally felt weak.
It's when something of a high magnatude happens that I wish wasn't true and I'm being shown with evidence that it is. I'm accepting it and at the same time trying to reject it because it's too much to take it.
I remember a movie I watched when I was about 8 where some woman is murdered in cold blood and the hero stands by and lets it happen [mainly because if he gave himself up to save her he wouldn't be able to save everyone else]. She screamed and screamed about how she didn't want to die, and though I knew it was a movie I couldn't take it. I wanted to leave the room, but I wasn't really able to move. I was in shock and couldn't stop thinking about it the next week.
9.11.2001 had the same effect on me, only it lasted a few months. The feeling was generally the same feeling.
Then when I played Megaman X4 for the first time I didn't pay attention to the story. I got stuck on the last boss and wasn't able to defeat him. The next day my friend plays through it and I'm watching the story and notice that the boss kills millions of people. I started to feel that queazy feeling again. I didn't want to think about it, but couldn't stop thinking about it. Next time I played the game I was determined to win because of what this fictional character had done to millions of other fictional characters. I beat the boss without getting hit once.
Then, there's the whore thing.
My first crush was in highschool. It was Michelle Anderson.
