I got the job. It might not be so bad.

[INTJMom]

I might learn something useful.

I was a little apprehensive before the interview. I kept getting butterflies. But I kept remembering something Xander said that made me laugh, and I was okay once I got there. I was glad I left a little bit early because traffic was heavier than usual. I actually got there before her. Way to score points!

I started to size up her MB Type immediately: "Excuse the mess". (*groan* "S". I hold out hope she's an N.) So tell me about yourself... *groan* "I didn't need your references; I've already checked you out." (Checked me out! What the heck?! Who did she speak to?! Notices this is the same stealth trick the former ESTJ lady-boss used to pull. Not looking good for non-ESTJ-ness.)

When I finally deduced she was an ESTJ and it would only be a short period of time before she would start hating me, I came right out and told her I didn't think she would like me, and I didn't think she should hire me!
Then she twisted it around on me saying she thought I didn't like her!
*groan*
I thought of something brilliant to respond with though I can't remember it any more.
I certainly didn't want to offend her or hurt her feelings.

I came right out and told her that I was afraid I was too low energy, but since she had such a big project that needed doing, I would be glad to work with her for a few weeks and she could see if she liked me. She wouldn't have any of that.
I tried to point out all the reasons why I wouldn't be good for that job!
She ended up hiring me!
I couldn't get out of it!!

I think if I just let her have her way all the time, we'll get along just fine.
The redeeming quality of this job is that she'll be out of state for 2 1/2 months this winter.
I'll have the whole office to myself.
And she's trying to replace herself, so the next boss could be totally different.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention the useful thing I might learn!
The office is a wreck with 16 years of accumulated paperwork. She says she's going to clean it out. I will probably learn a few "purging" tricks that I can use in my house. I hope some of her energy rubs off on me.

 

[Salomé]

YAY Mom!....I think?
You must be REAAALLLY good if you got the job after all that.
Respect is due.

 

[INTJMom]

Thanks... I think.
I'm extremely apprehensive to the point of post traumatic stress disorder symptoms.
I must be the only applicant she had.
I practically begged her not to hire me.
She might have wanted me because I have some Access database experience.
Typically, most people hate Access, as do I, sort of.
It's a love-hate relationship.
I'm self-taught on it.

 

[heart]

Good luck.

 

[ygolo]

Certainly an interesting story of being hired.

Congratulations. I think.

 

[Xander]

You know Access!!! Why the heck didn't you say so?

Do you know how many times I've looked for someone who understands that stuff?

:steam: jashen fashen ridden pidden bloomin not knowing frickin ooo!!!

Where were you in 2003? Huh? Doing something important?

I've got a database which runs the company in Access and almost blew ALL my fuses at points!! Talk about smartass after the fact!!!

Anyhow, if she hires you after you've been honest then you've got her. She hired YOU, warts and all. That's acceptance baby. If she goes back on it then just stimie her on the fact that she okayed you even when you'd pointed everything out!!

Anyhow you're an INTJ... try being an INTP and having more than one ESTJ to deal with... and mine ain't so nice as to be accepting!

I'm sure you'll be fine. Just don't be paranoid, work to your abilities and communicate to theirs. That's all you can do. Anything more and you should feel righteous in being totally peeved. Then go bust something up... simple

 

[INTJMom]

If it makes you feel any better, X, I got my Access experience in 2004. I never mentioned it because nobody asked. If you have any more questions though, my husband is an Access expert and has used it daily for at least 6 years.

You say she accepted me, but in reality she hired her idea of who she thinks I am. I'm positive I am going to fall short and incur her wrath. And just the fact that I know that she will be constantly scrutinizing every move I make, will cause that moment to arrive all the sooner because it's just going to make me self-conscious.

*groan* I can't measure up to an ESTJs expectations!! I can't tell you how sorry I am that I applied for that job! I was looking for a job where my boss and I would click together and get along and complement each other, not be each other's nemesis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God help me!!

 

[INTJMom]

ygolo...
yeah, isn't it though?


The anticipation of working for her is stirring up my fear of rejection and fear of failure, big time.

 

[Salomé]

Hey, what's the worst that can happen? You'll lose the job? Well you never wanted it in the first place - so no great loss there.
I can't get a job right now. I'd even take one with Access (I hate it too) but I'm going on holiday instead. Every cloud and all that. Good thing about being a P is stress kinda rolls off like mercury. Bad thing is - bills don't

 

[Xander]

Oh boy.... take that box and give it a thorough pounding like it just insulted your shoes or something.

Can't see your problem.. well not without a heafty amount of context.

You should find that you dance around them like hunters around a wild beast. Just dodge the claws and keep poking.

Oh and brace yourself because one thing I've found with my lot of ESTJs is that if they say you're useless it's usually a challenge and not a put down.

Oh and bluemonday is right... does it REALLY matter? Surely you realise that in the larger scheme of things it's irrelevant?

 

[INTJMom]

I will have to spend some time thinking about why I am in such emotional crisis over this boss.

I feel like Tuesday morning I will be forced into the bull-ring with a bull who will eventually overpower me and tear me to shreds.

This is based on the helpless feelings the last 4 ESTJs in my life inflicted on me.
My only hope is that perhaps in the last several years since the last incident I have emotionally grown and matured to the point where the outcome will be different.
It's just that I was so much hoping for an enjoyable working relationship.
I guess I should keep on holding out hope that she and I will get a long just fine. MBTT isn't all there is to a person.

 

[INTJMom]

bluemonday:
The thing I hate about the idea of getting fired or quitting is that I hate to lose.

 

[INTJMom]

I just got off the phone with a male ESTJ friend of mine for whom I do some work occasionally. He was very encouraging and built up my confidence. I DO BELIEVE I will be okay! I'm actually looking forward to Tuesday now! Funny thing, isn't it?

He said that I had no reason to be worried that I wouldn't be able to do that job because I have lots of great skills to offer. He said he was sure I was hired because the boss-lady observed my confidence, poise, intelligence and professionalism. He said he has a lot of respect for me. It made me feel a LOT better. And he said it all in that ESTJ forceful matter-of-fact way he always uses. It meant a lot to me because we have actually worked closely together on quite a few various and sundry projects. (He's the blind guy I did the Duxbury project with.)

He said if worse comes to worse, I should just pretend I'm working with HIM!
You know, that's really not a bad strategy!

 

[INTJMom]

As an added bonus, another friend who I've known less than a year and who also is an ESTJ (Ken) said he was surprised to hear me talk about being terrified about being incompetent because from his observations, he thought that I was competent at a lot of things across a broad spectrum. He said he thought I was above average at everything I did. I told him I could accept his assessment with thanks, but B+ is no consolation when I wanted an A+. He understood the feeling I was trying to convey.

So I am feeling more secure now in the likelihood that my new boss-lady will like me and think me competent... and I hope will therefore not have any need to yell at me.

 

[INTJMom]

For those of you who have made note of the irony that I have a couple of ESTJ male friends with whom I get along, but that my fear of dealing with female ESTJs is quite pronounced, I solved this mystery the other day!

I just last week realized that when I deal with male ESTJs, I am usually so intimidated by their authority, I don't dare try to contradict them, or suggest ideas to them... unless they're asking. On the other hand, I think I am not as intimidated by the female ESTJs and so I challenge their thinking or decisions more than they prefer. So I get into scuffles with them, and the end is not pretty. Basically, we're not interested in a relationship with each other. It makes me feel like a failure whenever I think of those ladies.

The solution is obvious. Treat the females the same way I treat the males.

 

[INTJMom]

So it turned out that she was an ISTJ.
She was actually very good for my self-esteem - she gave lots of positive feedback.

And the useful thing I learned?
I learned how to do mail merge for my Christmas Card list! Woo-hoo!!