proteanmix
Plumage and Moult
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Messages
- 5,514
- Enneagram
- 1w2
The Death Honeymoon is the finite period of time between knowing a loved one is going to die and the actual death when the relationship between you and the dying person greatly improves.
Much like a honeymoon the dying person's faults are minimized and ensuring the comfort of the dying person is maximized. Those involved (family, friends, romantic partners, etc.) in the death honeymoon are able to put aside the petty squabbles that inhibited their relationship before and concentrate on enjoying and loving each other to the fullest.
Reconciliations and closure tend to happen during this period because you wonder what the fuck you were arguing about in the first place, was it really important, and why did it have such a chokehold on your relationship. People finally get real with each other the way they should've been all along. Some death honeymoons are incredibly brief lasting only a few moments in hospital room like the twilight. Those still count. Some death honeymoons last up to a year.
Sadly, in some cases only one person may want to enter into the death honeymoon. Sometimes it's the dying person who is the stubborn one. Sometimes it's a partner or family member. Sometimes the dying person treated people so horrendously that any non-obligatory love has been strangled from those they care about the most. There is love, but it's a mechanical "I do this because you're my father" kind of love.
I always wonder why we so often need a death to jolt us into treating people the way we feel about them. I don't know, we really take people we care about for granted. I know I do. It's like the sun will rise tomorrow and so you'll be there. My coworker and I were talking about what happens when life gets really real. Unfortunately, she told me this morning that her a very close friend of her's mother was diagnosed with five types of cancer at once and is given less than a year to live. I remember when my mother was initially diagnosed and we were told the same thing. Everyone was so careful around each other and to her. We tried not to upset her too badly or make things harder for her.
Thankfully, her cancer went into remission but we soon fell back to our old habits. I've gone back to my old habits of taking her for granted. Talking to my coworker today reminded me of that period when everything was good between my family because we were united in one common of goal of loving each other.
Much like a honeymoon the dying person's faults are minimized and ensuring the comfort of the dying person is maximized. Those involved (family, friends, romantic partners, etc.) in the death honeymoon are able to put aside the petty squabbles that inhibited their relationship before and concentrate on enjoying and loving each other to the fullest.
Reconciliations and closure tend to happen during this period because you wonder what the fuck you were arguing about in the first place, was it really important, and why did it have such a chokehold on your relationship. People finally get real with each other the way they should've been all along. Some death honeymoons are incredibly brief lasting only a few moments in hospital room like the twilight. Those still count. Some death honeymoons last up to a year.
Sadly, in some cases only one person may want to enter into the death honeymoon. Sometimes it's the dying person who is the stubborn one. Sometimes it's a partner or family member. Sometimes the dying person treated people so horrendously that any non-obligatory love has been strangled from those they care about the most. There is love, but it's a mechanical "I do this because you're my father" kind of love.
I always wonder why we so often need a death to jolt us into treating people the way we feel about them. I don't know, we really take people we care about for granted. I know I do. It's like the sun will rise tomorrow and so you'll be there. My coworker and I were talking about what happens when life gets really real. Unfortunately, she told me this morning that her a very close friend of her's mother was diagnosed with five types of cancer at once and is given less than a year to live. I remember when my mother was initially diagnosed and we were told the same thing. Everyone was so careful around each other and to her. We tried not to upset her too badly or make things harder for her.
Thankfully, her cancer went into remission but we soon fell back to our old habits. I've gone back to my old habits of taking her for granted. Talking to my coworker today reminded me of that period when everything was good between my family because we were united in one common of goal of loving each other.
