Here's the thing, though. The way you've described it, it still sounds like you're trying to help the person by helping yourself get rid of the barking dog in your head. It's the person's issue, so as a friend, can you try to help them the way
they would like to be helped? If they're in the middle of a problem that's causing them grief, can you listen to them and help them get it out of their systems, rather than mining their emotions on your terms or shutting down and going away? Maybe ask what they need from you? Or is the barking dog so loud that you absolutely can't put it aside and take their statements at face value? It would make me sad if I needed to talk out my problems and I felt like my friend was stuck on making me admit my emotions so they could feel better.
I'll be honest, it depends on how much frustration that barking dog is causing me. And how much stress and exhaustion I'm suffering atm from other things.
But, if you're important to me, and you're asking for my help, I'll do my very best to listen first, shut up, get all the facts, ask questions, make you feel heard before I go towards solutions (including self-reflecting).
I tend to do that anyways, as I fear jumping to conclusions, so I like getting the entire backstory. Also, I know how hard it is to think logically and solve a problem when you're still emotionally distraught. So I'll be comforting and listening to you first. And usually that alraedy contains the info I need to select how I can best help you out.
I *have* had moments where I was stressed for time and didn't take the time. I am guilty of that, I admit. Where I skip ahead and just give them the solution,coz it's so obvious to me. That always backfires, and gets you no where, experiences has taught me. Still, it's sometimes hard to avoid, especially if there's 100 other things going on. It sorta works if someone is really asking for a solution and isn't emotionally distraught, but even then it's not preferable as it allows you to jump to conclusions.
Also, with Fe-users, I'll try to remember to not chime in with comparable stories to make them feel heard, but actually just say things like 'that sucks', 'that must be hard', etc, as I know they prefer it. I've been mistyped INFJ coz of that by some of those people. It drains me incredibly though as it requires conscious focus, whereas NeFi is something that just...naturally happens.
If I feel it's vital to their personal growth that they explore and self-reflect, I will definitely go there....*after* they've calmed down though and have had a chance to tell me their story. Fi or Fe-users...everyone needs that, in order to get cracking at the solution, ime
Lastly, you talking to me and confiding in me already helps. I don't *need*that emotion to disappear..I just need you to acknowledge something's wrong, so I can reassure my self-doubt (am I dreaming, am I making this up?). It also takes away my feeling of powerlessness. So it's win-win. I can accomodate the most negative feelings, as long as I know their origin (you) and preferably what caused them (the story will tell me)
I do confess that once we get to the solution part and you're unwilling to self-reflect and keep yourself in that negative loop for weeks on end or even months..it becomes very draining. Coz that's where the powerlessness comes back again and all I can do is listen, but I also know that listening isn't what's going to help you at that point. At that point you either need to be forced to face your fears (self-reflecting) or given the time to figure that out on your own.