All in all, I think my parents did a good job -- far better than most, and if I ever have kids, I'll consider myself fortunate if I can do as good a job as they did. They loved us, took good care of us, gave us a stable upbringing and always placed our welfare first.
As weird as it sounds, I wish my SJ parents had pushed me harder. As long as I was "on track" (grades, playing well with others, church), then everything was okay.
I doubt they'd have opened up an alternative life so I ended up being an artist in a basement hole in NYC or anything, but there were a lot of things out in the world that I had no idea existed. If they had pushed, maybe I would've reached higher, further.
Other than that, they were pretty good parents. A bit bossy about the little details of day-to-day life, but I can't complain much at all. They were so sensible I had a hard time rebelling. Maybe rebelling is what I really needed.
Mac and I've talked some before about this sort of thing, so it's not too surprising that I agree with him here. School, chores, and behavior was *everything* to my parents. If I did that (and excelled in the standardized metrics by which such things are officially measured), things were fine. But there was always the stress of expectations that seemed at once too much and at the same time lacking resonance.
If I could change anything (realizing that I had it darned good, don't get me wrong), I'd say to push a little more in some areas, particularly in fostering an outlook that life wasn't about much more than work and money. Those are lessons that have served me well in a lot of ways, but for example, I was surprised reading this thread and seeing that people *did stuff* like sports, museums, talk about current events, etc. with their parents. With me that happened maybe once a year... tops (less as I got older). Things like art, travel, history, etc. really had no place -- except of course, that I was expected to get good grades if I encountered such topics in school -- but although they never said it, my understanding was always that I was to take elective courses that would serve to get into college, etc.
- I wish they taught me to experience life and find challenges and be strong and courageous instead of teaching me to be afraid/anxious of everything.
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I can see some of this in my childhood too. Risks were anathema (often under the umbrella of "you could get me sued"), and safety and certainty were valued, almost above all.
Enough on that -- I had it relatively good, all things considered. Differences in outlook were there, but I can't complain about the results. Any failures are my own.