Gone two hours and so much of substance to reply to!
(
Blackwater, this post is for you.
![Hug :hug: :hug:](/data/vbsmilies/obscene-smiley-7291.gif)
)
I haven't really suffered much for it, though, that I can think of, though I may have inflicted suffering on others.
Edit: For the poll, I probably suffer from it but I am not working to overcome it. I think awareness of it is about the best I can do with this thing. It's too innate and hard-wired in. I didn't see that option.
I believe that becoming aware of the extent and intensity to which one suffers from closed-minded certitude constitutes the bulk of the work one has to do to overcome it, because it's the ego-wrenching part. Once wallowing in the magnitude of one's idiocy
![Crying :cry: :cry:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
, taking steps to improve attains paramount importance. (We want to get back to being inculpable as soon as we can, right?
![Wink ;) ;)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
) So I suggest that those who acknowledge some CC tendencies but feel unmotivated to modify their behavior in any way vote for the "never suffered from it" option.
Protest! Where's the "I am an INTJ and I believe that I suffer from it, and I intend to carry on pretending to be ignorant to the issue" option?
Does the above answer your question?
On a more serious note, I think you've identified an inherent weakness, but calling it closed-minded certitude is unfair - and I'm always right, so there. As pt points out, we can actually be very flexible in light of new information. I am a master of making assertions and then quietly moulding them as people present new (read contradictory) information, until by the end of the argument they never know where we started and have agreed with the conclusion I've reached. Clearly this works better in person than on a message board, which is probably why I self-censor so much here and withdraw from making posts; it's not pleasant to have people present quotes halfway through a discussion, since I feel compelled to defend them even if I was wrong (how this will come back to haunt me...)
Yes, when faced with an incontrovertible argument, INXJs will in fact often concede the point and update our opinion, but (like you describe) we do so silently and preserve appearances of having been right all along. This is only academically better than the self-deceiving variant, because the effect on our relationships with other people is the same. People who humor the practice get along very well with INXJs, but the song-and-dance still detracts from the INXJ's total package, whereas people who are impatient with the practice are subjected to aggressive (for INTJs, anyway) rationalization and if this fails, summarily avoided. All else equal, the INXJ's problematic behavior lowers the quality of the company the INXJ gets to keep.
This brings me to the reason why I believe (/hope
![Wink ;) ;)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
) that becoming fully aware of one's CC raises one's odds of overcoming it to 1. I touched upon it in the OP, but restating it won't hurt:
Being wrong sometimes does not hurt our standing with other people.
In fact, those close to us are already well acquainted with our fallibility - and when we start to recognize it too, they like and respect us
more for it!
So ironically (since we are eternal improvement-seekers), our biggest problem, once acknowledged, is easy to fix. After our ego has fully accepted the imperfection of our judgment, qualifying statements, conceding points and openly admitting errors becomes no big deal (though admittedly it does take some practice
![Blush :blush: :blush:](/data/vbsmilies/blush.gif)
).
So why is it so difficult for INXJs to truly acknowledge our CC (I refer, of course, only to those of us who suffer from it
![Devil :devil: :devil:](/data/vbsmilies/devil.gif)
)? I believe the cause of our denial is actually pretty simple. What is the core competency of an INXJ that we trade in the social marketplace? What is the unique value that we bring to our relationships with other people? Even if well-rounded (and hence possessing to some degree the hallmark qualities of other types), what is likely to make up the foundation for our identity is our insightfulness. No wonder we are scared when we perceive it is threatened. (And no wonder we are uncomfortable around ESXPs, the types who are the least likely to appreciate it.)
Best way to crush the INTJ's problem? Make them keep track of how often they are wrong. Statistics > INTJ worldview.
You said it.
I would add that doing it lovingly is key. Whip
and carrot.
Far too many pokes to make, far too many to choose from...
Psst,
Jen, just
hinting at a reality check budges an INXJ not an inch.
![Wink ;) ;)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)