the thing is, you need to be able to trust the other person to do that:
from the INFJ perspective, I've heard many cases that their respective ENTPs weren't able to sacrifice their freedoms in possibilities: whether it is to meet ends meet and do what needs done, whether it is settling on a stable path both can follow, or in a few cases even in terms of loyalty, the ENTP version of the continues existential crisis - the never ending process of saying "no" to the bubbling realities they are choosing not to follow - and the failure to say no to the possibilities that can harm the INFJ, has let many INFJs down.
from the ENTP perspective, my experience and that of all too many other data points on my baby Si radar, has being that when the going gets tough and the experience and reality of the ENTP has accumulated elements that reflect negatively on the INFJ and strip the absolute ideals of self, the unwillingness of INFJs to give up on the compartmentalized interpretation or understand the value in digging down towards a shared playing field where both perspectives matter, leads to the complete elimination of the ENTP's existence - as a being whose experience holds value to their reality - within the INFJs mind.
the storm is like a trance, but when their is interweaving, the blindspots can outright kill each other. so doesn't it make more sense to enjoy it from a safe distance?
i enjoy your description and feel like it captures some of the essence of infj and entp. i feel, tho, taking a step back, you're saying that you hurt the infj. i think acknowledging the significance and reality of the emotions of each party as they are is the only thing you can do at this point. not just try to solve something like it's an abstract problem. but to simply stay with the parts of yourself that are hurting, to find them and nurture them until they can let go of what is holding them back, until they can heal. not to just immediately try to set up a new game, to change the rules of behavior, but to truly know why, to know why we are what we are without respect to what we can and cannot do. also, if the parts of each other that are hurting are not yours as well, then you will not satisfy the infjs need for emotional connection. you will not actually build trust, faith in each other. you will simply build law.
because you will hurt each other, regardless of what the problem is and how it is defined. some times that hurt will be unacceptable. some times it will be based on misunderstanding. some times you will let go of conditions you thought you needed (whose impinging upon would result in hurt) because you realize how your conditions affect others as well, and that the core of why you wanted that, and why that was important for you can evolve through sharing and communicating and understanding other viewpoints as well. many times it can also help reflect yourself to you in a way that you could not see before, and help you realize that what is valuable to you, what is emotionally positive or negative to you, can drastically change in different contexts with other people, when you can let aspects of yourself go. your sense of self can change when you truly feel yourself, catch up to the truth that has been waiting for you to actually fully absorb and embody and bring into the core of your being, and you can see where you are at enough to have freed up enough space to proceed in a way that was not clear before.
when i imagine the conversations i've had with my entp 7w6 sx/so friend, i feel they are always challenging and yet warm and mutually accepting. however, they are not a process of negotiation beyond a strictly intellectual one. with the entp 3w4, my current s.o., she takes the lead in figuring out where we both are at. she's just better at it than i am, at managing the process of figuring out where we're both at on our own terms and keeping that clear when figuring out ways of bridging. i say this to just point out that i personally find 7w6 types so incredibly accepting but only up to a point; i don't find them willing to fully disclose their sense of possibilities in the same way because they're often equally unsure of what they want and oftentimes quite emotionally disconnected from themselves, especially from their conflicting feelings (and even when they are compassionate and in part trying to avoid needlessly hurting someone else, they are not fully compassionate with themselves so they don't relate to their own feelings mindfully enough as an interior to know how to convey the emotional truth with the sincerity it needs to still be authentic, even as it aims to be compassionate in its strategicness). to recognize that these conflicts often require less thought and more discernment, more feeling, is what helps them trust themselves enough to truly open up to someone else, to truly listen to them too. to not just lead them into a better space but to stay with them in a negative, threatening, potentially hostile one. you just can't really get much done together if you don't really get into what's true for both of you. and you can't really evolve that truth if you simply avoid disclosing the key pieces of it.
and to be open to each other means to be open to negotiations that are potentially threatening to you but are necessary in order to NOT AVOID the problems and instead deal with them as courageously as possible. because, and this is part of that difficult Fe boundaries issue, you're afraid of losing love by upholding your own sense of what you need, is no excuse for trying to avoid the truth rather than truly getting into it and staying there enough until it discloses to you where you are at. emotional discernment is frightening, however, because you give up control, you submit to a process in which your truth could easily lead you into other hurt or work against many of your other goals in some seemingly unacceptable, unwanted way. and so you keep clinging to the notion that maybe there's a way everyone can win without truly accepting and listening to and acting on behalf of and ultimately loving your truth, your fate, as it is both yours and bigger than you at the same time, and as you do your best to honor it at all the different levels you can experience it, including the part of it that keeps bubbling up and opening new doors for you to move through.
also, assistance with that integration problem is what you can appreciate from us. it is the Fe side of the coin that makes up us both.