Udog
Seriously Delirious
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2008
- Messages
- 5,290
- MBTI Type
- INfp
- Enneagram
- 9w1
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Okay, INFJs, I need your opinions.
The question is, what's the best way to end an unwanted friendship with an INFJ? Do I tell her flat out that I can no longer be her friend? Do I quit answering/returning her calls until she gets the idea? (I occasionally see her family, so she probably knows I'm physically well.) Or is there an option C? I don't want to hurt her more than necessary, but I can't pretend to be anything more than fleetingly polite to her.
Quickly, yes, things got complicated, but no, it didn't go anywhere. She dropped out of my life suddenly and unexpectedly, only calling to ask for favors. 3 months later, she reveals she has a boyfriend. That's not so bad (did hurt though), but she did several little things to make the blow worse, such as call out of the blue on Christmas day to tell me, etc).
It was bad enough that I had to reevaluate the friendship and try and rebuild it, and I didn't like what I was seeing.
Now, I'm just... empty... when I hang out with her. The conversation is inevitably her being upset about her BF or family, but instead of feeling my natural empathy I just feel empty and pitiless. (This guy had been around for a while, and was clearly nothing but trouble.) It's a feeling I do not like.
Still, I don't want to make it worse than it needs to be. So do I tell her directly, ignore her until she gives up, or do something else?
EDIT: If mod catches this, please move this to NF Idyllic. I didn't mean to post this here.
The question is, what's the best way to end an unwanted friendship with an INFJ? Do I tell her flat out that I can no longer be her friend? Do I quit answering/returning her calls until she gets the idea? (I occasionally see her family, so she probably knows I'm physically well.) Or is there an option C? I don't want to hurt her more than necessary, but I can't pretend to be anything more than fleetingly polite to her.
Quickly, yes, things got complicated, but no, it didn't go anywhere. She dropped out of my life suddenly and unexpectedly, only calling to ask for favors. 3 months later, she reveals she has a boyfriend. That's not so bad (did hurt though), but she did several little things to make the blow worse, such as call out of the blue on Christmas day to tell me, etc).
It was bad enough that I had to reevaluate the friendship and try and rebuild it, and I didn't like what I was seeing.
Now, I'm just... empty... when I hang out with her. The conversation is inevitably her being upset about her BF or family, but instead of feeling my natural empathy I just feel empty and pitiless. (This guy had been around for a while, and was clearly nothing but trouble.) It's a feeling I do not like.
Still, I don't want to make it worse than it needs to be. So do I tell her directly, ignore her until she gives up, or do something else?
EDIT: If mod catches this, please move this to NF Idyllic. I didn't mean to post this here.