I agree, and to some extent it's true. That's what I meant when I said when I witness what she does it looks like Fe "handling" or feels like manipulation or ass-kissing to me, because the way that NTJs fall for it is almost pathetic. They're like "ow, you're so nice!" And she is nice...but they're being manipulated, it reminds me of dogs being led around by a bone. It gives me kind of a nauseated feeling, especially since they're adults, and often behaving badly when she feels a need to do this, so I feel like picking up a mirror and showing them reality. That's what Fi means to me. Getting real.
Thing is, they don't really want you to be real, they want you to submit to their desires. Yes/no? Do you prefer a woman who challenges you or one who agrees with you or who is more pliant?
I've seen numerous INTJs admit things like they'd rather be with an ISFP who is less inclined to argue with them, or even flat out declare that women should be demure.
She's just giving you guys what she thinks you want (and it appears to be the case!), but to me, it makes my skin crawl.
I've had troubles with INTJs putting me on a pedastal as well, and yes they, collectively, have disappointed my idealized image of them.
Also, it's really an individual thing...you know, in the end, all NTJs and NFPs are not the same, there are just generalizations based upon group observations of the types.