There are NF's who are asshole extraordinaires.
There are people who are asshole extraordinaire, so I don't see how this commentary is in any way revealing or helpful to the questions raised in the OP.
Lots of times I just don't say what I'm thinking out loud. (1)
Seriously, though, just cultivating a better understanding of other people's POVs and how they think and trying to learn to respect that helps a lot. (2)
Like she said, (1) learning to curb one's thoughts. Before I said anything and everything that came to mind, now? Less so, but, it's still quite strong, this inclination to share my inner world/thoughts...however, now, I do a quick mental analysis of possible ramifications of the thought, and decide, irregardless of it, my desire to share the thought (so as to spur further thought) is worth more than decorum or something. So it basically comes down to doing a quick value-evaluation of one's own thought before spitting it out.
(2) is paramount......and a cool gift that I think ENTPs have, to put self in other's shoes. Perspectives. Try to harness this maybe while keeping the thought of respecting that person's personhood at forefront. It'll be quite insightful in social dealings.
I realised today that most people either think i'm a complete asshole or a really nice guy or most commonly both.
I realized that while - i think - i can be a really nice genuine friendly guy i can also be a complete and utter asshole and be really cheeky and generally cruel.
I think this is an ENTP thing but it might just be an NT thing. But i wanted to know from other ENTPs especially the older mature ones how you keep you nasty side in check?
I think one thing some of us on this forum forget is, we're not our type first. We're us, who, just happen to be X type. So, don't try to
be ENTP. It will do more harm than good. Don't look at the world with the knowledge of MBTI if it does harm. E.g., I don't really need to respect SJs because they're boring and not as smart as me, an NT.
Let go of all this. Be you, and if you so happen to fall into the category of ENTPs, so be it.
Personalities
cannot change, but, behaviour
can be modified.
Hence, as much as I will admit to a 'nasty' side, I know that with time and effort, I can actually kill that nasty side. Or put a lock on it. I do this through my actions. I can have a thousand and one terrible thoughts in my head, but, ultimately, whatever I put out to the world (i.e., my action), will be the only thing of merit and significance.
Meaning: challenge your inner asshole to a duel and know that what's at stake is finding more doors opening up for you, people
willingly wanting to open those doors for you, which will allow for success in this world.
(as an extravert)
You will attract more bees with honey that poison. Respect is the honey for most of us.