I'm INTP and I've felt the magnetic pull that only ENFPs seem to have over me. But I scare away most of them. I'm not mean or creepy so why do you run away? I'm just weird. Am I giving off some creepy vibes? I checked the mirror and I don't have an evil pulsating green boil that on my forehead.
ENFPs, how do your perceive INTPs? I'm outgoing and clownish for an INTP.
While I appreciate that ENFPs are attractive to you, it's sort of blindingly obvious why an ENFP wouldn't feel the same back. I don't think you've meant to, but you've continually dismissed our intelligence and analytical ability. We might not think in the same way as you, but we are N-dominant, and we live in a world of abstractions, theory, and concepts. We tend to value our theoretical competency very highly, and will readily dismiss people who interpret us at a basic external level, because so much of our important processing is taking place deep inside and is challenging to immediately translate into communication. We appreciate the people who are quickly able to "look beyond" and see that our linking speech patterns indicate complex interrelated concepts which are consistently structured. Most people who have known us for a long time are aware that we are deep thinkers, but those who meet us just briefly tend to assume we are bubbly airheads, and we reciprocally dismiss them for their superficial judgment.
As for INTPs - I like INTPs. My father is one. I find them interesting to talk to and exceedingly useful when it comes to learning the technical specifications of essentially anything. They're creative, independent, and a bit temperamental. However, I think INTPs tend to overvalue their judgments and undervalue personal worth. Part of that includes dismissing people quickly when they aren't as logic-oriented as the INTP themselves, and dismissing the importance of thought that doesn't prioritize logic.
7 wing ENFPs seem almost ESFP. They're not very attracted to intelligence. I've met many ENFPs but few were capable of analytical thought like INTPs.
I'm sort of floored by this comment, lol. I've never met an ENFP for whom depth of thought wasn't a huge priority. I would agree that we don't do analytical thought like INTPs, but e6w7 ENFPs ought to be very analytical on a Ne-Te level, always running possibility-probability analysis of future events.
I think part of your problem is that you're interpreting "intelligence" in a very INTP light.
Here's the difference in Ne-Ti analysis and Ne-Te analysis: Ti is Introverted Thinking, and I like to think of it as "internal consistency of logic". Ti assesses systems for how well the logic operates
within the system. It quickly hones in on gaps in internal reasoning, inconsistencies in definition and placement, and minor errors in calculation. When applied to a subject like philosophy, Ti takes the philosophical system at hand and analyzes it for whether it
works internally. It ensures all the logical links are intact and functional, and it seeks to improve the system where it is weak. Like Fi, it looks at the "ideal beauty" of the system, whether it is accurate and precise and as good as it can be.
However, Te is
Extraverted Thinking, and it looks at the
external consistency of logic. Te doesn't really care if the system works internally - it cares if it works when applied to the outside world. It seeks to categorize consistently and operate efficiently. When applied to philosophy, Te asks if the philosophy is useful in application to daily living. Coupled with Fi, it asks how much good the philosophy can realistically do, and whether it will accurately produce the results we are seeking. That's where we look for weaknesses in the system, and where we seek to improve it. Te doesn't seek beauty or idealism as much as simplistic external functioning. Through Te eyes, there's not much point in making a beautiful, pure system if it doesn't get us the results we're seeking.
So I think to strong Ti users, Te can come off heavy-handed and shortsighted, and especially since it's only an ENFP's 3rd function, INTPs tend to dismiss ENFP's usage of logic. We're more interested in the concept itself, and what it indicates about the world, rather than the way it operates. We're also more interested in how things will be helpful to individuals, and how they can improve personal wellbeing.
I'm attracted to ENFPs but a lot of them do register as airheads. I can't make sense of their logic. Whenever my programmer friend and I sit and discuss software, his gregarious ENFP girlfriend goes silent. I thought it was because she didn't like, know or want to learn about the subject, but I don't know. But I suspect the reason for her failure to join our cerebral activities will be insightful. Thoughts?
Maybe she just doesn't know a lot about software, or isn't interested. Myself, I can program in terms of writing webpages by hand but I don't know much about software, and if more knowledgeable people were discussing it, I'd probably pipe down and listen, too. Is she sticking around and listening, or does she leave? If she's staying, she's interested. She'd leave if she weren't.
Even if she weren't, though, that doesn't make her unintelligent. It just makes her not interested in programming, lol.
I'm not saying that ENFPs who like aesthetics are shallow. But most of the ones who I met who do like aesthetics don't have much interest in abstract philosophical discussions. Even my female ENFP friend who majored in it in college was terrible at it. But our mutual ENFP male friend was interested and good at having those kind of conversations. Why? Individual differences? Enneagram differences? Perhaps ENFPs with a 5 wing are good at it?
A distinction: all ENFPs should be interested in
abstract discussion with personal factors. Not all ENFPs will be interested in abstract discussion without personal factors, and not all ENFPs will be interested in
philosophical discussion. If you were pushing for a Ti-logic-based discussion on philosophy sans personal factors with your ENFP friend, then she may well have not been into it.
In any case - if you want to get in an ENFP's pants, try to appreciate their intelligence for what it is. Recognize their theoretical fluency, their ability to conceptualize, and their abiding sense of the "big picture" and need for global significance. Recognize the deep well of idealistic compassion in their Fi, and the practical prioritization of their Te. An ENFP will never feel valued being interpreted as a sweet, chattery, bubbly airhead. We
will feel valued being understood as conceptual, idealistic, communicative, and adaptive.