NinaButterfly
New member
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2018
- Messages
- 1
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- 4
Hey guys, I was hoping some of you could maybe give me some advice on how to fix my very awkward relationship with an ENFJ buddy.
To make a very long story short, ENFJ and I met and there was a very strong chemistry. I was attracted by his kindness, how thoughtful he always seemed to be with others and how fun he was to be around, always getting along with everyone and making jokes. He started to make a move, but I had just finished a horrible relationship and I was not ready to start something new with anyone, so I freaked out and acted a bit cold with him - without really knowing why. To make things worse, I became super friendly with this friends, and being an ENFP, of course they thought I was flirting with them. He didn't take this very well (but never expressed it openly, he just became distant and passive aggressive).
Anyhow, blaming myself for how badly things had turned out, I decided to ignore his childish behaviour and 'make amends' by getting closer to him and showing him that I clearly had an interest. We were slowly moving towards a better place until one night, a few months later, we got drunk together and had sex. There was crazy chemistry, I had never experienced anything similar with anyone else. But he freaked out on the same night and decided that he had to leave immediately because he didn't have feelings for me and I deserved so much better and he should have never slept with me blah blah blah. Being an ENFP I was shocked and upset, as I was just going with the flow and enjoying the moment, and was definitely not expecting to marry him after that night, and could not understand why he would react like that.
After that, our relationship has been super awkward, and it's been almost a year. We see each other in a group setting a couple of times a month, and things just never seem to flow between us. We are fine within the group, but we never speak to each other 1:1 and we barely even look at each other in the eye. When we do speak to each other because the situation requires it, it's one of those movie situations where two people try to communicate and none of them make any sense.
I would really like to fix this (not in a romantic way, just in a friendly way). I know there is a lot of context missing, but do you guys have any thoughts on how I might approach this? It just saddens me deeply to be at odds with someone that I honestly believe is a good person deep down.
Thanks in advance
To make a very long story short, ENFJ and I met and there was a very strong chemistry. I was attracted by his kindness, how thoughtful he always seemed to be with others and how fun he was to be around, always getting along with everyone and making jokes. He started to make a move, but I had just finished a horrible relationship and I was not ready to start something new with anyone, so I freaked out and acted a bit cold with him - without really knowing why. To make things worse, I became super friendly with this friends, and being an ENFP, of course they thought I was flirting with them. He didn't take this very well (but never expressed it openly, he just became distant and passive aggressive).
Anyhow, blaming myself for how badly things had turned out, I decided to ignore his childish behaviour and 'make amends' by getting closer to him and showing him that I clearly had an interest. We were slowly moving towards a better place until one night, a few months later, we got drunk together and had sex. There was crazy chemistry, I had never experienced anything similar with anyone else. But he freaked out on the same night and decided that he had to leave immediately because he didn't have feelings for me and I deserved so much better and he should have never slept with me blah blah blah. Being an ENFP I was shocked and upset, as I was just going with the flow and enjoying the moment, and was definitely not expecting to marry him after that night, and could not understand why he would react like that.
After that, our relationship has been super awkward, and it's been almost a year. We see each other in a group setting a couple of times a month, and things just never seem to flow between us. We are fine within the group, but we never speak to each other 1:1 and we barely even look at each other in the eye. When we do speak to each other because the situation requires it, it's one of those movie situations where two people try to communicate and none of them make any sense.
I would really like to fix this (not in a romantic way, just in a friendly way). I know there is a lot of context missing, but do you guys have any thoughts on how I might approach this? It just saddens me deeply to be at odds with someone that I honestly believe is a good person deep down.
Thanks in advance