Ghost of the dead horse
filling some space
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Messages
- 3,553
- MBTI Type
- ENTJ
I got the idea for the question from some womanizing manual I found from the interwebs. The claim being, the more you try to pick up women and fail miserably, the more you get accustomed to the rejection and until you can be "cool" with both being rejected and accepted.
The reason I'm telling this is because I told someone yesterday they could afford being less extreme about their trust in people's words. This someone usually believes a person if they're on a trusting mood, and disbeliefs them if they're on a distrusting mood. Seeing anyone's words come true puts them in a trusting mood, and seeing anyone's words being untrue puts them in a distrusting mood. Keeping this womanizing example in mind, I encouraged her to develop some analysis skills or "coolness" to her trust instead of dismissing or approving someone blindly. (edit: not in situation when someone is trying to flirt with them, but in situations of contracts and deals.)
But.. is the advice good? What conditions are needed for a person to form a balanced view about distressing situations where the outcome may be success as well as a disaster?
My theory being, if a person keeps a mental record of the conditions related to every situation, they will lose their attachment to any particular situation (and hence the wildly 2-polar opinion) and will instead start to see it as a numbers game, with odds of success being this and odds of disaster being that. That is, if they can win over their personal drama-factor that makes them see everything in extremes.
Ideas?
The reason I'm telling this is because I told someone yesterday they could afford being less extreme about their trust in people's words. This someone usually believes a person if they're on a trusting mood, and disbeliefs them if they're on a distrusting mood. Seeing anyone's words come true puts them in a trusting mood, and seeing anyone's words being untrue puts them in a distrusting mood. Keeping this womanizing example in mind, I encouraged her to develop some analysis skills or "coolness" to her trust instead of dismissing or approving someone blindly. (edit: not in situation when someone is trying to flirt with them, but in situations of contracts and deals.)
But.. is the advice good? What conditions are needed for a person to form a balanced view about distressing situations where the outcome may be success as well as a disaster?
My theory being, if a person keeps a mental record of the conditions related to every situation, they will lose their attachment to any particular situation (and hence the wildly 2-polar opinion) and will instead start to see it as a numbers game, with odds of success being this and odds of disaster being that. That is, if they can win over their personal drama-factor that makes them see everything in extremes.
Ideas?