So I heard something about it, I spent the last several hours scanning around facebook being all paranoid and angry for really petty reasons and i came across something about BPD borderline Personality disorder, and so i wiki'd it to see the symptoms and bingo, they described like issues I have been battling with since early childhood. From black and white thinking, splitting, paranoid thoughts, pushing people away, disassociation, SI, fear of abandonment, early childhood sexual abuse, so on and so forth, anyone here know anything about this disorder? Help me please before I break off a relationship with someone who is actually good for me and I actually feel like I can love.... because I am not going to take any more stabs at relationships after this one, I will just accept being a loner for good.
i dont have insurance right now so i cant afford to see a doctor, i just want to know more about it.
i think bpd is very controversial topic, bc it gets diagnosed way too often. as you can see many criteria match even Ns, and introverts. so unless you are throwing ashtrays into head of people around you, treatening suicide, crying few times a day or you are very conflicting and self hating .. i wouldnt call it BPD.
you might as well need a therapy besides that. i suggest if you feel bad you should get money somehow and do it.
mental health is spectrum, you can walk PD line but not cross it, i find diagnosis totally useless
Personaly i know a few people who have been diagnosed without any reason whatsoever,because they've been told they will be sick forever and all the common crap, and now they are happy (less than 2 yrs from diagnosis), really normal, beautiful people. Many people in early 20ies show bpd symptoms.
as much as self-diagnosis is crap, professional diagnosis can be a crap too. in psychiatry i'd call them all "professionals" not real professionals.
as for what happens in the mind of BPD person:
it's just like any other low self esteem, but to extreme. They are so removed from their core, real self, and unaware of their real feelings and needs, so they operate from defenses, trying to involve everyone else in their dance, they lack real reflection you might say. Most BPDs extremely lack real self reflection, so it's extremely important to them how you react to them etc.