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I mostly just get frustrated, almost introverted, a bit irritable when this happens.
I WANT to speak my mind more. I really wish I knew how, but I'm too nervous. maybe I just need more confidence for this
but in this mode, I'm certainly no shoulder to cry on
This last 'assertive' bout I've had over the past few months was the result of a decision I made to take on a more assertive mindset. I practiced it in subtle ways until 'a little bit of selfishness' became a habit.
With 'a little bit of selfishness' comes an attitude of 'screw it; I'm going to take my fair share of the conversation airtime, and I'm going to say what I want to say'.
I figure.. since I'm people-pleasing and courteous by nature, that's going to temper my assertiveness naturally, and, as a result, my 'a little bit of selfishness' is barely comparable to what most would consider selfish or hurtful.
It's a balance, though.. it always is.