[ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!

[jenocyde]

for real...i'm with you girl...do people not get how very bad ass we are? wth i'm disappointed.

I was just teasing...

 

[Lady_X]

I was just teasing...

haha...you know i know that! that's us being dramatic and cocky...for kicks.

 

[ergophobe]

I was just teasing...

I wish you were wearing your peace signs while you teased, ya know....

 

[jenocyde]

I wish you were wearing your peace signs while you teased, ya know....

No one will get that on to my finger. Or a wedding band either. Looks too much like a damn handcuff.

 

[ergophobe]

I would go with you on this one - not particularly appealing as a ring. Thus clearly at the ridiculous end of the spectrum.

Wedding band....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (drops everything and runs).

 

[lane777]

All the ENFP's that I know are extremely fickle.

 

[garbage]

All the ENFP's that I know are extremely fickle.

Pretty much this, yeah

Until they learn to organize their shit, they'll be habitually late and forget their promises.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I hate how enfp's want to make everyone happy!

Me too! They should just make me happy!

 

[ergophobe]

Yes, I retain the right to change my mind....again. I see that as more of a P thing though. I hate the idea of being boxed into anything - decisions included. If new information comes to light that warrants a change, I will act accordingly.

Of course, I take commitments made to the people I care about seriously and will honor them, come hell or high water.

Mostly, I'm interested in what makes ME happy/content/less disgruntled. Call it what you will. I have NO interest in making everyone happy - it's a zero sum game anyway. I can't possibly make everyone happy. Some people's happiness depends on another's woe.

 

[Little Linguist]

Reading this thread is very interesting - it's amusing how uncannily similar and dissimilar I am to other ENFPs....

 

[ergophobe]

Reading this thread is very interesting - it's amusing how uncannily similar and dissimilar I am to other ENFPs....

Say more...

 

[Thessaly]

I lived with an ENFP and she was a slob and disrespectful. Not intentionally. It was more of an immaturity thing. If only she knew how to self reflect. She also seemed to be incredibly emotionally manipulative with the men she dated and was reckless with other people's hearts. Aside from the weird emotional sadism and irresponsibility she was charismatic and genuinely kind. I would never live with her again though. You could not pay me to.

 

[MrME]

Aside from the weird emotional sadism ... she was ... genuinely kind.

Does not compute.

 

[Thessaly]

Does not compute.

She was insecure and often did and said things that deeply hurt guys to get a reaction/validation. Aside from the emotional blackmail she was generally a generous and loving soul. Basically she wasn't truly mean spirited, just incredibly unperceptive of other people's feelings and unstable. I guess when you're caught up in your own world of melodrama you can overlook other people's feelings and hurt them.

 

[Amargith]

It is possible indeed to be so overwhelmed by your own emotions that you no longer sense others. I think it happens mostly to young ENFPs who are pretty much drowning in their own feelings and still learning how to swim. It's unlikely that you're gonna pay attention to anyone else drowning at that point.

Nowadays, I actually am careful to go full Ne, because of that. Coz when I get in the Ne-zone and basking in that feeling, I don't notice other peoples reactions as fast as I normally would, which can cause bruised feelings when I go overboard. Also, when I feel I'm drowning in bad emotions, I quarantine myself, as I know I won't be able to control my emotions spilling onto others. I need to get a grip first.

INFPs have the same main functions as us though,..you don't experience this yourself?

 

[Rhapsody]

It is possible indeed to be so overwhelmed by your own emotions that you no longer sense others. I think it happens mostly to young ENFPs who are pretty much drowning in their own feelings and still learning how to swim. It's unlikely that you're gonna pay attention to anyone else drowning at that point.

Nowadays, I actually am careful to go full Ne, because of that. Coz when I get in the Ne-zone and basking in that feeling, I don't notice other peoples reactions as fast as I normally would, which can cause bruised feelings when I go overboard. Also, when I feel I'm drowning in bad emotions, I quarantine myself, as I know I won't be able to control my emotions spilling onto others. I need to get a grip first.

INFPs have the same main functions as us though,..you don't experience this yourself?

I relate completely to the bolded bits, so I'd agree that this is something that all xNFPs can fall into. I've seen a good ENFP friend lash out in this state before, but I've also done it myself. Self-quarantine really is the only way to go sometimes.

 

[Moiety]

Quarantine, my ass. Learn some self-control.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I lived with an ENFP and she was a slob and disrespectful. Not intentionally. It was more of an immaturity thing. If only she knew how to self reflect. She also seemed to be incredibly emotionally manipulative with the men she dated and was reckless with other people's hearts. Aside from the weird emotional sadism and irresponsibility she was charismatic and genuinely kind. I would never live with her again though. You could not pay me to.

Sounds like we know the same person...her name begin with M?

 

[substitute]

Sometimes the rampant and open idealism can be rather grating... like when I take my ENFP brother on vacation to see one of the wonders of the world and am unable to take it in or enjoy it because he's grumbling and complaining in my ear the whole time, very vociferously, about how disgusted and disappointed and upset he is that there are - GASP! - souvenir shops everywhere!

Cos like, you know, he expected it to be all pristine and full of high brow super respectful middle class graduates and only the most tasteful and relevant and organic locally sourced ethically traded hand made exquisite souvenirs to be sold!

Also, I think they sorta need to be adored a bit too much sometimes, so that the slightest expression, however calm or respectful, of disapproval or disagreement with a way that they've behaved can be taken as a great attack on them and they react very very defensively. Whilst all the time trying to pin the blame for what they call "the argument" (but which needn't have been one if they'd responded as calmly as you initiated) on you, projecting their own oversensitivity onto you.

I've noticed a tendency in my brother and another couple of ENFP's that I know, to be just incapable of ever apologizing. They have an image of themselves as being very gracious and generous and all that, but if you actually put it to the test you find that to them it's all about them, no matter how much you say it's not about criticizing or attacking them but about trying to express how you feel, they still seem much more intent on just shutting you up and they're happy to sweep it under the carpet without giving you the chance to properly have your say, no matter how frustrated or upset that leaves you, as long as they don't have to listen to anything that might imply that they're not perfect, and as long as the "conflict" ends. They use the word "conflict" to mean "somebody speaking in a voice that isn't either completely flat or jokey and laughing, particularly when they're talking about me".

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Also, I think they sorta need to be adored a bit too much sometimes, so that the slightest expression, however calm or respectful, of disapproval or disagreement with a way that they've behaved can be taken as a great attack on them and they react very very defensively. Whilst all the time trying to pin the blame for what they call "the argument" (but which needn't have been one if they'd responded as calmly as you initiated) on you, projecting their own oversensitivity onto you.

I've noticed a tendency in my brother and another couple of ENFP's that I know, to be just incapable of ever apologizing. They have an image of themselves as being very gracious and generous and all that, but if you actually put it to the test you find that to them it's all about them, no matter how much you say it's not about criticizing or attacking them but about trying to express how you feel, they still seem much more intent on just shutting you up and they're happy to sweep it under the carpet without giving you the chance to properly have your say, no matter how frustrated or upset that leaves you, as long as they don't have to listen to anything that might imply that they're not perfect, and as long as the "conflict" ends. They use the word "conflict" to mean "somebody speaking in a voice that isn't either completely flat or jokey and laughing, particularly when they're talking about me".

I totally agree with this.

Scary.