[ISTJ] How to Escape Female ISTJ

[d@v3]

Ok. I met with her last Tuesday. And she almost immediately confided in me with all the emotional stress she was under.

I tried SOOOOO hard to keep on the subject, but I saw them coming- the dreaded tears, that is. She was trying very hard to fight them back, I could tell. When she started crying I didn't know WHAT to do.

I sat there looking at her kind of like "there, there, don't cry now. It will be ok." I was terrified at what she might do next. I got lucky though because she pulled herself together and stopped.

She apologized for crying and it was all over within a few minutes. After the 1 hour (it seemed like forever) session ended I immediately (like RAN full-speed) to the department of student development. They said they would see what was wrong with her.

Of course, they pretty much told me I saw screwed and that I need to just "do my job" and live through it. :steam:

Meanwhile, she texted me this evening saying she could not wait to meet again this week and how I was a good listener.

 

[Costrin]

You're just so lucky with the ladies. I'm jealous.

 

[d@v3]

You're just so lucky with the ladies. I'm jealous.

Dude, luck is NOT on my side. If it were, I would dating a very attractive and fun lady right now. How many times do I have to explain this to you?

 

[Costrin]

Dude, luck is NOT on my side. If it were, I would dating a very attractive and fun lady right now. How many times do I have to explain this to you?

No need to be so humble.

 

[d@v3]

No need to be so humble.

^LOL! Your such a moron! :yim_rolling_on_the_

 

[Tiny Army]

Wow, Dave it really sounds like you have apalling luck. Rough, dude! Hang in there! There are bitches out there who ain't completely crazy. I promise.

 

[d@v3]

Wow, Dave it really sounds like you have apalling luck. Rough, dude! Hang in there! There are bitches out there who ain't completely crazy. I promise.

I'll never find a decent girl. I'm doomed!

 

[Tiny Army]

It's because of the hot:crazy ratio, man. The more attractive a girl, the more you can be certain that she's completely insane. I have the benefit of being solidly average looking. Plus I have five brothers. I managed to escape the crippling madness that so many girls have.

Unfortunately there are so many ridiculously hot girls in this city (seriously, dude, ride the L train) that it's impossible to escape them.

 

[d@v3]

It's because of the hot:crazy ratio, man. The more attractive a girl, the more you can be certain that she's completely insane. I have the benefit of being solidly average looking. Plus I have five brothers. I managed to escape the crippling madness that so many girls have.

Unfortunately there are so many ridiculously hot girls in this city (seriously, dude, ride the L train) that it's impossible to escape them.

So it's a ratio? hot:crazy = the hot ones aren't the crazy ones? I thought the hot ones WERE the crazy ones!

Hmm... the L train, eh? I'll have to write that down for next time I get down to the city.

Your such a kind lass Tiny, making me feel better already. You truly ARE an ENFP!

 

[Tiny Army]

No, the hotter they are the crazier they are. I live off the L train and it's like a parade of hot girls. And the best part is they're all super into craigslist missed connections. So you can actually find that adorable girl on the train. Unfortunately I can guarantee that that adorable girl on the train is super insecure and certifiably madder'n a sack full of cats covered in fish oil spiked with LSD.

 

[d@v3]

No, the hotter they are the crazier they are. I live off the L train and it's like a parade of hot girls. And the best part is they're all super into craigslist missed connections. So you can actually find that adorable girl on the train. Unfortunately I can guarantee that that adorable girl on the train is super insecure and certifiably madder'n a sack full of cats covered in fish oil spiked with LSD.

Oh, then I don't want a hot girl. Well, I want a girl that is hot AND sane. But I'd rather have a sane girl over a hot girl any day if that is the choice I must make!

LOL! That is an awesome analogy! :yim_rolling_on_the_

I'm gonna go leave a message on Habba's wall telling him to take the L train next time he get's to the city.

 

[Shadow]

Being friends with someone who I'm romantically interested would tear me apart. And it has.

I had this ex-girlfriend, with whom we shared a lots of common interests and activities. First I thought it would be really cool to have someone like that as a friend. But after couple of months, it was really tearing me in parts. It's like being on a strict-diet and living in a house made of chocolate and candy.

I guess it's the Si function at work here.

Totally agree, been there and done that.

D@ve3 - Have you told this ISTJ woman that you're fed up with her?
I'm an ISTJ woman and I need brutal and frank honesty, or I'll forever hope. Your whole situation in the first post makes me cringe, because I was exactly the same as her. Actually, even after I bluntly told the guy (INTP) that I was interested in him and he said he wasn't interested in me, we still ended up living together for a year and we ended up drunkenly kissing twice (ISTJs are nothing if not persistent).
Hmm, maybe I'm saying that it'll be hard to get her off your back even if you tell her that you don't want to know her!!
As it happens, me and this guy did actually have interesting conversations. He was cold, intellectual and good-looking, and that combination turns me slightly crazy, I'll admit, and I don't like what I become when that happens (I'm a cold woman and being clingy isn't something I aspire to). Bizarrely, I got on with his girlfriends, and sometimes they contacted me for advice about how to handle him even after I'd had a massive argument with him and we were no longer speaking! I said they should know better than me and told them to stick with it, it'll all be fine blah blah - one thing about ISTJs is that we are loyal as hell and won't stab you in the back (only in the front). We hadn't seen each other for years until a couple of months ago by accident. No arguments this time but we had a calm, interesting conversation and left it at that.

So yeah, literally tell her that you're uncomfortable that she's asking for your advice and trying to get close to you when you really don't have feelings for her. She will shout and scream. You will lose her as a friend, if not forever, until you decide to contact her again, if you do (she won't contact you because of her pride). Job done.

 

[Shaula]

I'm an ISTJ woman and I need brutal and frank honesty, or I'll forever hope.

Yay! The voice of reason!

 

[d@v3]

But it's just so........ evil. And I don't know 100% if she is ISTJ, it's just my guess as I described her earlier in the thread. I have been keeping my blunt side under control until now. I got lucky this week though, SHE cancelled out appointment, so maybe she is starting to get the picture.

Maybe my lack of affection when she was crying is all she needed to know that I (I know it's an aweful thing to say but) "didn't care!". I could say "Hooray for being a cold and hearltess SJ!" Unfortunately, it's a sword that falls both ways.

We are still friends though as far as I know. So far I havn't had to be the "bad guy" yet. I hope it stays that way. I just can't bring myself to be blunt and mean.... I'm turning soft and it's all YOU N's and F's who are at fault! ...I MUST rebuild my cold SJ base!

 

[Shaula]

:smiley_violin:

 

[ShadowBoxer]

Yaaaay! Let's blame our problems on other people!

That's going to get you far in life.

 

[Mondo]

Easier said than done, but honesty is the best policy.

 

[simulatedworld]

Tell her you think the institution of marriage is stupid and all it does is pigeonhole people into an unnatural state of monogamy.

She will argue with you a little bit, but if you manage to keep a straight face for more than 15 minutes, you'll be home free.

Will you marry me?

 

[alcea rosea]

To the OP:

Just say that you are not interested to her and she'll give up (if she doesn't have mental issues....)

Even ENFP's say to people when they are not interested however empathic they seem to be.

Yay for soft SJ's.

 

[d@v3]

Yaaaay! Let's blame our problems on other people!

That's going to get you far in life.

What am I blaming on other people?