[MBTI General] ISTJ-ENFP Relationship Starter (Help!)

[d@v3]

Hey, I'm coming to this thread really late but I guess I just wanted to add:

1) Regardless of whether the girl is ENFP or not, asking someone out explicitly is always a good idea. No room for ambiguity and if the person is not interested, it's clear.

2) Don't take it personally if you feel the person is being wishy-washy or ambiguous. Some people are just like that, might not even be related to maturity or how flaky internet communication is in general. She either doesn't get your intention or she is just non-commital.

3) A mature ENFP who has gotten (mostly) over the fear of rejection will make it pretty clear to you when they like you. When I like someone, I not only make it known, but I either pursue or allow the other person to pursue me. The more I like you, the more of my 'A game' I bring. LOL.

4) Some people, especially younger women find it hard to say no clearly. That's why if you don't get a clear 'yes' you may just want to chalk it up to 'no'.

5) EP's flex a lot, if she is an EP, she may just be making up her mind. This process can potentially take forever to never.

6) ENXPs are enthusiastic by nature. ENFPs have a tendency to like people in general. She may genuinely be interested in you, just not romantically interested. It can be confusing for you as the recipient, I'm sure.

So basically, my advice is this: make your move then move on. Don't wait so much on her and instead decide what you want to do and do it. If you don't get a definitive yes or no after a few tries, chalk it up to e-friendship and move on.

PS I have a good friend who is ISTJ. If she is typical of type, you guys aren't very direct and assertive when it comes to dating! You get surprisingly shy.

PPS I think ISTJ and ENFP could make a good combination. But she is more likely to drive you crazy than for you to drive her crazy. If you can handle that and always feel like you have to be on top of things and take care of practical matters, then go for it.

Well, what you said about being shy... I think you should win the "understatement of the week" award! I am VERY shy and quiet when it comes to this kind of thing. The problem is, she is shy too! I have to initiate every text conversation but once I do that, we end up texting all night! Consequently, it feels like she is allowing me to pursue her because why would she give me her cell phone number in the first place? She knew darn well what my intentions were!

Yes, I can handle being driven crazy by an ENFP. My best friend is an ENFP and he drives me crazy! Well, actually we can drive eachother crazy, but anyway, we can never be mad at eachother. Hmmm... maybe I should consult him about this ENFP girl... never thought about that!

 

[Lady_X]

^^^ haha...that's funny!

 

[d@v3]

So what you said earlier, it wouldn't be good to ask her out this far in advance for the weekend, right? But if I ask her the night before she could have planned something! Is there anything less stressful than going to dinner? I think she may feel that is too much... is a movie less stressful?

 

[Lady_X]

you can ask her tonight for something over the weekend! definitely more polite imo to ask a few days before.i don't know who told you that but it wasn't me. do you have one of those theaters where you can order food/drinks? the kind with a restaurant...something like that might be cool.

 

[d@v3]

you can ask her tonight for something over the weekend! definitely more polite imo to ask a few days before.i don't know who told you that but it wasn't me. do you have one of those theaters where you can order food/drinks? the kind with a restaurant...something like that might be cool.

I asked her last weekend about taking a short homework break and getting a quick bite to eat.... actually... those were the words i used. She said she had her family coming over so she couldnt. So then I extended the offer to during the week and she said it depended on the homework she had. This makes complete sense to me because she has ALOT of hard work.. all math and science classes! So she said she would text me if whether or not she could. She has not texted me about it, but we seem to carry on texting conversations throughout the night! What does this mean?! And if I were going to ask her out again how do I change the setting from "getting a quick bite to eat" to "lets go to a movie!"? This is so frustrating.

And no, the movie theater just has regular concession, popcorn, candy... but then again she said she "LOVES" chocolate?

 

[Lady_X]

will it be in person or through text or on the phone or what? in any case...how about...so..i want to hang out! you feel like going to a movie?

 

[d@v3]

Well, I guess it would be over text message, although that feels awkward. I'm not sure how she would feel if I called her. I just don't want to annoy her. lol

 

[Lady_X]

then text her and say...let's do something sat...wanna go to a movie?

 

[d@v3]

if i texted something "sweet" to her (you know the stuff that makes you ENFP's go "aaaawwe how sweet" and sigh) would that be a turn off? Like I said, I don't want to push my luck too much!

Just to clarify, this would be sent prior to the text asking her to go to the movies this weekend.

 

[Lady_X]

i like sweet...sweet is good.

 

[d@v3]

I also seem to send alot of those "text smiles" you know, when you keep pushing the number 1 key and it turns into a smiley face... is that a bad thing? It's not every message, but when I make a funny statement or a "sweet" statement the smile seems to automatically get put in!

 

[Lady_X]

it's all good. if you guys text a lot she probably likes you...otherwise i think she'd say she had to get off to study or something...just be yourself...don't hold back the sweet things...and ask girlie out...you'll be fine as long as you like her silly childish ways and you don't have any grand scheme of changing her down the road...then go for it.

 

[swordpath]

Lol, god damn we second guess ourselves like crazy when it comes to relationship.

 

[Lady_X]

it's funny that you do...i had no idea because i was busy being forward enfp girl, i guess.

i do know that my istj guy was shy and seemed surprised by the attention...and i got the feeling that he was thinking...she's talking to me!? she's talking to me!!?? why?? what does she see in me?? she's weird!! i don't think he realized i actually liked him until i kissed him one night...he said he just thought i was friendly with everyone...haha

 

[RiderOnTheStorm]

haha. You are friendly with everyone, and so am I. I can see how we can be so confusing to them.
ENFP females in general that is.

 

[Lady_X]

yes...but i'm MORE friendly when i like someone...haha

 

[RiderOnTheStorm]

Yeah, but still. How are the poor things supposed to know the difference?

They're like a deer caught in the headlights.

When I really like someone I flood them with 'thoughtful' gestures. It's probably too much at first, but it calms down with time. Less frequency, moar meaning. =)

D@v3: Smiley's ftw.

 

[Lady_X]

yeah...i bet we are confusing. i think we confuse ourselves.

 

[wolfy]

yeah...i bet we are confusing. i think we confuse ourselves.

Women confuse guys. full stop.

 

[Lady_X]

i think i'm very rarely confused by other people...i just get the feeling they are confused by me...i think....that's probably weird! what's THAT mean?