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[ENFJ] Where are the ENFJs hiding?
- Thread starter raz
- Start date
The Third Rider
New member
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- Sep 12, 2007
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- MBTI Type
- ENFj
Desperado44
New member
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- Jun 14, 2008
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- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
Its funny.....I don't meet many of us either....
Also....I have to agree....I find that most people want us so they can abuse our kindness and genuine concern for others.
We are suckers for the under dog.
Also....I have to agree....I find that most people want us so they can abuse our kindness and genuine concern for others.
We are suckers for the under dog.
proteanmix
Plumage and Moult
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
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- 5,514
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- 1w2
Its funny.....I don't meet many of us either....
Also....I have to agree....I find that most people want us so they can abuse our kindness and genuine concern for others.
We are suckers for the under dog.
Aww, Desperado you sound a little sullen.
You don't have to be a prisoner of your Fe. You can choose who gets your kindness and sympathy and who doesn't.
Little questions that have helped me:
Is this my concern or my responsibility? Am I overstepping my boundaries?
How much can I really do for this person?
Am I truly willing and able to take this on? How will it affect me?
Why am I attracted to the type of people who would abuse my sympathies?
It's easy to get sucked into the "I do this that and the other; why can't they see I need help myself?" mentality and start throwing lightning bolts at people. The most helpful piece of advice I've gotten is asking myself why I attracted the type of people I did. Once I began to figure that out I thought of ways I could change my behavior and be more discriminating towards people. Don't feel obliged to welcome every sob story into your arms and deplete yourself. It's possible to find a balance between enjoying to help people and being munched on by overgrazers.
Brendan
Guerilla Urbanist
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Messages
- 911
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
Aww, Desperado you sound a little sullen.
You don't have to be a prisoner of your Fe. You can choose who gets your kindness and sympathy and who doesn't.
Little questions that have helped me:
Is this my concern or my responsibility? Am I overstepping my boundaries?
How much can I really do for this person?
Am I truly willing and able to take this on? How will it affect me?
Why am I attracted to the type of people who would abuse my sympathies?
This is rather helpful.
I personally would like to know more ENFJ's myself. They do what I always wish to do for others but find it so hard to be so involved without losing myself. I feel like the underdog in their shadow, trying to measure up to their standards.
What you guys need is a sob story person who is willing to help and repay you for your kindness and generosity. I usually help and repay those who aren't a sob story person, so it would be wonderful to be there for some ENFJ's.
What you guys need is a sob story person who is willing to help and repay you for your kindness and generosity. I usually help and repay those who aren't a sob story person, so it would be wonderful to be there for some ENFJ's.
G-Virus
Broud Balestinian
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Aww, Desperado you sound a little sullen.
You don't have to be a prisoner of your Fe. You can choose who gets your kindness and sympathy and who doesn't.
Little questions that have helped me:
Is this my concern or my responsibility? Am I overstepping my boundaries?
How much can I really do for this person?
Am I truly willing and able to take this on? How will it affect me?
Why am I attracted to the type of people who would abuse my sympathies?
It's easy to get sucked into the "I do this that and the other; why can't they see I need help myself?" mentality and start throwing lightning bolts at people. The most helpful piece of advice I've gotten is asking myself why I attracted the type of people I did. Once I began to figure that out I thought of ways I could change my behavior and be more discriminating towards people. Don't feel obliged to welcome every sob story into your arms and deplete yourself. It's possible to find a balance between enjoying to help people and being munched on by overgrazers.
This is an awsome post. Fe dominants aren't the only ones that get used by others, so I think if you start a thread detailing what you have learned in respect to this, it would be a serious winner of a thread full of valuable lessons for others. I don't know about everyone else, but I personally would love to get some of your insight.
raz
Let's make this showy!
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I'll be honest, I've manipulated people that have that caring and "I want to help you" attitude. Usually it's just, "I have something I'm doing, but there's something else I need to do and can't. So, I'll have this other person do it that's jumping up and down for something to do."
That's not why I want to find ENFJ's though. I just find I get along best with them when they're not in their condescending mode.
Starphoenix
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- Nov 19, 2008
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I'm new here. I'm an ENFJ.
Leysing
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- Mar 21, 2008
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I'm new here. I'm an ENFJ.
Welcome. We need more of you here.
They're rare, and then not really the message board type.
Two specific spotting tips: (1) at work, look at the recruiters in your HR department ..... (2) at church, look at your Sunday School teachers. Spot the high-energy person with a genuine (in the HR example: not a company facade, but a true genuine) interest in everyone's well-being and there's a good chance you've found an ENFJ.
Lauren Ashley
Revelation
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I absolutely love my ENFJ coach. His laugh, mannerisms, optimism, high energy...I always feel better when I am around him. But I find it so curious that the qualities that I appreciate most in him are the ones he tries to suppress.
Oh, he can usually be found 1) motivating someone 2) teaching 3) with his kids
Oh, he can usually be found 1) motivating someone 2) teaching 3) with his kids
Jack Flak
Permabanned
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He's ESFP. (I'm not sure, but pretend I am.)
Lauren Ashley
Revelation
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No, I'm 100% sure he is NF. He goes on and on about his visions for our team and he is very dedicated to his causes. The only other type that I would even consider is ENFP, but he strikes me as a high J type. Yeah, scratch that, he is a high J type.
raz
Let's make this showy!
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My sister's an ENFJ, but after living with her so long, she's annoying, heh. ENFJ's seem to always think they know what's best for you. They shock you with their creativity. They'll drop everything to be your personal cheerleader. If they find a cause they're interested in, they'll BECOME the cause. They'll know everything about everyone in order to best treat them. And under all that, they're actually GENUINE.
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