[INFP] INFP Guy Chasing ENFP lady

[ordinance]

Also it's good she kept it open. That prolly means exactly what it sounds like, a maybe. I can imagine full long relationships with so many rando crushes from over the years. She prolly sees potential in you but got a little freaked out.

Also for reference I'm 30 so we're close to the same age ish.

Well we'll still see each other month to month. I'm chill giving her space for a few months.
We are both blindsided and objectively over the few interactions. She probably hasn't sorted herself out. Im pretty much ignored.. sheesh and she'd make quick exits after our meetings so that's the double bummer from what I'm reading currently.

INFPs probably have tons of patience and probably pretty stubborn dudes when they find something they feel like they'd leap over a mountain for.
I'm chill giving her 3 months or even up to half a year for things to normalize. Well's we will see how this goes. So I've not responded to her last text a week ago.
Guess she might need the space more than me after all.

 

[five sounds]

On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being highest attractiveness, what would you rate her?

If you did end up getting together would she be the best looking girlfriend you've had thus far?

Do you plan to upgrade to younger hotter mates over your lifetime? Your responses in this thread are grossing me out.

 

[Verona]

Nah, I suggested that we should cool off. It's nothing related to the other dude really.
She can do what she wants. I'm pretty sure she likes the TJ dude and somehow she's conflicted somewhere since I came into the picture too... perhaps

I guess im hearing from an INFP. Since the non-clarity would drive me crazy.

In that case I would walk away. Maybe you can be friends again later or maybe something else will happen in the future but right now if she isn't even sure she is interested in you then it is not worth your time. I wasn't sure if she was responding to you in hurt because you asked to cool off but it sounds like she is just up in the air right now.

And yes I am probably an INFP who is becoming a bit more extraverted with age (I'm in my 30's too)

 

[ordinance]

On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being highest attractiveness, what would you rate her?

If you did end up getting together would she be the best looking girlfriend you've had thus far?

That's a tough one really. This ENFP gal threw my conventional list out of the window. I'd think 6 Based on looks. ( do you really have to ? )
But I'd give it an 8 - 9 coz of how she really is as a person. When you get to this age, its really not about looks anymore aye?

 

[ordinance]

Spying ENFP ....


He will get obsessed with her shoeprints :whew:

Man dude, I think of her now and then. But its not like I've got all the time in the world to spy on her.
Being a stalker is kinda freakish?

 

[ordinance]

Hey Five,

I appreciate your responses.

It's difficult to figure this gal out coz being an INFP,
most of the gals in my social circles are mostly introverts and they can't pin point what is going through her head.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

Man dude, I think of her now and then. But its not like I've got all the time in the world to spy on her.
Being a stalker is kinda freakish?

That depends on your state of mind. I'm talking seriously right now (sometimes ESFP must say so to feel understood).

I have been stalked upon by weird guys, jealous guys, immature guys.

If you do it in a playful mood, with the fair point to know her better, I don't see anything wrong here.

Unless you are wanking while looking at her shoeprints obviously

That is another subject. Sorry !

 

[ZNP-TBA]

Maybe that nice boy, [MENTION=27948]ordinance[/MENTION], isn't only interested about boobs, ass, pretty lips

It is still possible that this girl has some peculiar qualities...

Then he'd be a minority among most men. Physical attractiveness is important but not the most important thing (IMO) and still factors into the overall attractiveness scale.

 

[five sounds]

Man dude, I think of her now and then. But its not like I've got all the time in the world to spy on her.
Being a stalker is kinda freakish?

Not like every day or week or anything. Just ya know, keep a casual eye on things. Do not stalk lol. Just let her be free and keep an eye out for a good opportunity?

 

[ZNP-TBA]

Do you plan to upgrade to younger hotter mates over your lifetime? Your responses in this thread are grossing me out.

Touchy. As I said to Amazone, physical attractiveness is still very relevant when judging overall attractiveness. I'm sorry you're grossed out by the male brain (could maybe explain a little why you found a female partner?)

 

[ordinance]

Then he'd be a minority among most men. Physical attractiveness is important but not the most important thing (IMO) and still factors into the overall attractiveness scale.

I'm not too sure if I should take this as a compliment, but she did say I'm kinda like a unicorn. Hah!

 

[ZNP-TBA]

That's a tough one really. This ENFP gal threw my conventional list out of the window. I'd think 6 Based on looks. ( do you really have to ? )
But I'd give it an 8 - 9 coz of how she really is as a person. When you get to this age, its really not about looks anymore aye?

Ok, 6...that's not too bad. I agree that phenomenal personalities can literally change our perspective and bump it a couple points.

However I wonder what's so phenomenal about her personality that in after 3 years of knowing each other she freaked out on you and gave you the cold shoulder after simply and honestly approaching her romantically?

Yes I know she's and ENFP and they're typically awesome but your girl in particular sounds kind of unattractive ( and that's not cuz she's a 6 in your view but because of her personality) based on how you described her this far.

 

[ordinance]

Not like every day or week or anything. Just ya know, keep a casual eye on things. Do not stalk lol. Just let her be free and keep an eye out for a good opportunity?

She has a keen eye for stalkers, and she pretty much ghosts dudes that are creepy. So no way I'm doing that.
Just hanging around and probably if I need to, I'll make my move closer to Christmas when there is an excuse of sorts. (hopefully by that time we've chilled out srsly)
Or when something special comes up.

 

[ZNP-TBA]

I'm not too sure if I should take this as a compliment, but she did say I'm kinda like a unicorn. Hah!

And how would you rate your own attractiveness, 1-10? ( I know some of the girls in here are getting super pissed at me for asking these questions but there is a method behind this madness )

Well I didn't mean it as an insult and I'm sure she didn't either. Her unicorn comment can mean she really thinks you're unique and special but also unique and special enough to be an exception to what she finds attractive in a romantic partner. So far, she doesn't find what you have to offer very aligned with her preferences. I'm not saying that actually is the case but its the data you have to go on thus far.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I'm not too sure if I should take this as a compliment, but she did say I'm kinda like a unicorn. Hah!

Was she telling you that compliment looking at you down your belt ?

 

[ordinance]

Ok, 6...that's not too bad. I agree that phenomenal personalities can literally change our perspective and bump it a couple points.

However I wonder what's so phenomenal about her personality that in after 3 years of knowing each other she freaked out on you and gave you the cold shoulder after simply and honestly approaching her romantically?

Yes I know she's and ENFP and they're typically awesome but your girl in particular sounds kind of unattractive ( and that's not cuz she's a 6 in your view but because of her personality) based on how you described her this far.

Well, I guess when it comes to INFP and ENFP match ups. We are perhaps more like kindred Spirits, so while we became seriously close over the past half year, she probably friend zoned me, coz I was probably under the Mr Nice INFP dude. she's got a great heart, the kind, generous and compassionate towards people. I'm not sure Five would agree with me on this but she is kinda like sunshine. I think most ENFP ladies are kinda like sunshine and her quirkiness while it annoys me sometimes actually keeps good Chemistry. Knowing her I'd be happy to go on adventures with her and "take on the world" ( though she would insist she has chemistry with everyone and maybe everything)

Does this make sense?

 

[ZNP-TBA]

Was she telling you that compliment looking at you down your belt ?

LOL I cracked up

 

[ordinance]

Was she telling you that compliment looking at you down your belt ?

Like no? But we had some amount of physical contact.
I'm quite conservative being INFP so it too a while to get used to her being like that.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

LOL I cracked up

 

[ZNP-TBA]

Well, I guess when it comes to INFP and ENFP match ups. We are perhaps more like kindred Spirits, so while we became seriously close over the past half year, she probably friend zoned me, coz I was probably under the Mr Nice INFP dude. she's got a great heart, the kind, generous and compassionate towards people. I'm not sure Five would agree with me on this but she is kinda like sunshine. I think most ENFP ladies are kinda like sunshine and her quirkiness while it annoys me sometimes actually keeps good Chemistry. Knowing her I'd be happy to go on adventures with her and "take on the world" ( though she would insist she has chemistry with everyone and maybe everything)

Does this make sense?

Of course it makes sense. I think I understand her contention maybe a bit more now.

Basically she became close with a pretty cool guy, a compassionate feeler no less, and somewhere in that process she set your tent up in her friendzone, perhaps inadvertently.

Then after some time you approach her romantically and she is genuinely perplexed but also feels awful maybe that you didn't understand fully that you are just a friend. It's possible she really loves you as a friend but its incredibly awkward and uncomfortable to tell such a friend that there is no romantic interest.

This is also probably why she reacted negatively when you questioned her about her feelings. It broke some internal harmony she had with you as a friend in her heart ( perhaps some Fi voodoo thing )

Sounds like nobody did anything wrong here but you might have to be told directly where you stand and that's uncomfortable for her but after 3 years of friendship I think she should.