[MBTI General] Did you identify with your dominant function growing up?

[Dreamer]

Do you feel you identified with your dominant function growing up? Meaning, did you claim that sense of being, as "you"? The identity you latched onto.

No way did I know of Typology or any personality science as a kid, and as strong as I felt my internal emotions and quickly learned which things were beneficial for my emotions and which were not, I didn't identify with my emotions. So, what I mean is, my identity was not wrapped up in my emotions. Instead, I always felt my weirdness, or, my oddball way of seeing things was my identity, my uniqueness. Thinking back, I can see this as the sole reason as to why it was so important for me to find friendships that allowed me to play in this space, now I know it as Ne. Yes, being able to express my emotions and feel them without being labeled as gay, by the other boys in my class would have been much appreciated, but it was my weirdness that always felt shut down and therefore, left me unhappy growing up. It's when I actively try to suppress it, well, more accurately, when I actively prevent others from seeing it rather than allowing it flourish and giving it the freedom and attention it craves, that I tend to feel most ingenuine of myself.

 

[Hawthorne]

A few big name people who aren't personally important enough to me to cite suggest that we exist in an undifferentiated state until well into our teens.

At that point, the function which has proven most effective for our maneuvering throughout the world is given "psychic or libidinal preference" and the rest that best compliment it fall into line. Some take it a step further by suggesting that environmental factors that prohibit the establishment of clear cognitive preferences is what leads to neuroses. I have no comment.

I would say that it wasn't until my late teens that I got a fix on my temperament cluster. And I only narrowed down my likely function preference in the past couple of years and that was after a lot of reading and discussion and more reading to weed out the inaccurate information from many of those same discussions. The process never seems to end.

 

[Jeremy8419]

Growing up? I don't think I even had a sense of identity until my teens

 

[Virtual ghost]

Yes, I learned to play chess at the age of 4.

However my F family didn't aprove Te that much and neither did education system that wasn't reformed from Communist paradigms. The problem is that all authorative regimes/structures are afraid of Te, especially Te/Se with Ni support since this combination is very good in seeing bad plans and biased logic that doesn't match reality. Eventually due to collective mindset and Fe that was over the place I decided to live like a person on the social edge. Plus I have used gaming as a place to unload my Te/Se energy. Therefore I have lived as a INTJ through most of my life but this is not who I really am.

 

[ZNP-TBA]

Do you feel you identified with your dominant function growing up? Meaning, did you claim that sense of being, as "you"? The identity you latched onto.

No way did I know of Typology or any personality science as a kid, and as strong as I felt my internal emotions and quickly learned which things were beneficial for my emotions and which were not, I didn't identify with my emotions. So, what I mean is, my identity was not wrapped up in my emotions. Instead, I always felt my weirdness, or, my oddball way of seeing things was my identity, my uniqueness. Thinking back, I can see this as the sole reason as to why it was so important for me to find friendships that allowed me to play in this space, now I know it as Ne. Yes, being able to express my emotions and feel them without being labeled as gay, by the other boys in my class would have been much appreciated, but it was my weirdness that always felt shut down and therefore, left me unhappy growing up. It's when I actively try to suppress it, well, more accurately, when I actively prevent others from seeing it rather than allowing it flourish and giving it the freedom and attention it craves, that I tend to feel most ingenuine of myself.

Yeah, I can only look back with my current knowledge of typology and guess, from memory, if I actually did identify with my dominant function. I really wish I knew it about it from a much younger age. Sometimes I wonder if it would've influenced my life in those 'formative' years. Logical thinking has always been important to me and I was always like this since early grade school. I was always the quintessential kid always asking 'why?' to the amusement of most of my classmates and to the annoyance of some of the teachers. I was also always expressive with my thoughts often bluntly saying 'boring! ' when tasked with something mundane by the teachers or even parents. Sometimes(Often) when I got in trouble a common punishment in school was to make kids write standards. I knew the teachers weren't going to read every line of the standards so I would slightly modify some of the letters so if you read them up to down they would actually read "You're a retarded idiot Mrs. whatever." Some classmates thought it was funny and they started doing it too so it would almost become 'fun' to get in trouble just to see what we can write about the teachers. Eventually I got expelled but that's because of other reasons too.

Yeah I'd say I identified strongly with Ne-Ti. I loved challenging trends and the status quo and then offering a fresh perspective on thing and then testing how many people I can get on bored with the perspective. I was relatively popular in high school and didn't face some of the social challenges you did ( though eventually I dropped out like a dumbass). I was never really in touch with my 'feeling' side like most guys ( most probably hid it actually) so there was never any 'gay' perception but I could see how some retards could make that mistake for emotional dudes like you. I was also an excellent chess player during this time and would challenge people at the coffee shops.

I joined the student body briefly in high school because I liked the prospect of meetings and being able to debate what needed to change plus discussing current events. Unfortunately the structure of the student body was stale and boring as all hell so instead I joined this weekly 'radio show' some friends and I created and we'd just freely discuss things and distribute the tapes for free often being politically incorrect and calling out certain staff and students. It was shut down on campus because some people were offended by the content. After that I joined a Christian ministry because, hey, why not? After I had my fill of that I blazed with my drug dealer cousin nearly everyday and dropped out of school which literally felt like a mind prison. After I was bored of getting high and wasting my life away I joined the Navy and yada yada.

 

[Evo]

I was a kid that was out of touch with reality. Spaced out, in my own world, with an awesome imagination. I remember my mom commenting on how well I played alone when she spoke of me to her friends. I was very sp dom, and I escaped to my head almost all the time. That's another reason why I think I might be Ni Dom. Similar to [MENTION=4347]Virtual ghost[/MENTION] I learned chess at a young age too, around 6 or 7.

In school I ignored everyone, except for teachers. I learned very young that I didn't really want to talk to anyone. Socializing in kindergarten and first grade was enough for me to find that out. The rest of my time in school was spent on learning, not socializing. I don't think Te came out until later, and my parents were no help in this area. When I got into confrontations with people, I now can see that no one in my life knew how to be assertive. Even the teachers. They dealt with consequences in an extremely illogical and unprofessional manner. This is essentially still a problem I see.

Toddler version: I suppose I identified with Ni the most. I was weird and, everyone including me knew it.

 

[Verona]

Trying to find a lifelong consistency with type has been something that I have struggled with. As a child I was an outgoing, strong leader. As a teen I became introverted and sensitive. I also have a very poor memory so a lot of these recollections are based on input from my family so they might be biased.

I got the book Nurture by Nature in order to help with understanding my children and parenting them in ways that would be suitable to their individuality. I didn't really relate strongly with any of the descriptions of the types as children. I do think there is fluidity to children so finding a set type before mid-teens would be pretty difficult. Even reading the profiles here Kids' Personality Profiles that are based on just the dominant functions I am not sure where I would have fit as a child. Since it is something that isn't clear for me I try to focus on where I am now and type based on that.

 

[fetus]

I think I remember my childhood more in terms of Enneagram.

 

[Punderstorm]

In all honesty I'm not really sure of my type, so I mean maybe?

 

[Cold]

I'm still not very sure about my type... So I guess I didn't really identify with my dominant function when I was growing and am still quite unsure

 

[highlander]

Do you feel you identified with your dominant function growing up? Meaning, did you claim that sense of being, as "you"? The identity you latched onto.

There is this challenge with INTJs that they feel like they know the answer but are not very good at explaining why. An INTJ’s thought process is led through introverted intuition. It is like there are a massive number of thoughts swimming around in your head, an answer pops out and you don’t know how you got there. This happens every day that you live and the timing of the insights you get is unpredictable. As INTJs, we live for these insights. It works the same way for INFJs. The process takes time. While extraverts quickly banter back and forth, the person who leads with dominant introverted intuition (INTJs and INFJs) is often still thinking. They haven’t had time to solidify their perceptions or form a conclusion, so they often say nothing. This is often a great loss to others because they can have important perspectives.

I cannot begin to tell you how frustrating this way of being was early in my life. I knew that I had good ideas but I could not get them implemented because I couldn’t communicate them well to others. From the standpoint of interacting with others, your timing is often off. You have a tendency to bring things up after others feel like they have already talked and arrived at conclusion and so your insights are ignored. You have a tendency to interject things into conversations when they pop into your head vs. when it may the most optimal time to do so. This is complicated of course by the fact that you can’t explain why you got to the answer you did. You just know. Here you are with all of these great insights and ideas and most people you interact with have absolutely no idea the depth of thinking that goes on in your head thus you are unappreciated.

When I was growing up, I had no idea what a personalty type was or a dominant function. I just felt a sense of frustration. I felt that socially others were better at expressing themselves. I felt I had better ideas and judgment but couldn't communicate things very well. I was slower to come to conclusions than other people were. It took me until my 30s until I finally was able to understand some of these differences and leverage my strengths to communicate in a more effective way. It took many years and I'm not even sure what all I did to capitalize on my strengths but ultimately, I was able to better leverage my abilities and feel less of a sense of frustration.

 

[Santosha]

I can trace fi back to about 4. When I go back into very early memories (the ones I can, a rare few being vivid) I don't recall having a very conceptual sense-of-self. It was more like a being-ness. There was a time, before I entered school, that I brought home each and every stray animal I came across. Probably in the realm of 20-ish, in a two year time-frame. But this wasn't a value taken in from my parents/community. At this time, atleast where I grew up, animal activism or pet-centrism was nothing like it is now. The family dog was a dog. He was loved, he had a role, but no one was making him sweaters, seeking out special off-leash parks or taking him to PetSmart for training. In fact, I think my parents viewed him as more of a hassle, a necessary annoyance to help keep the kids occupied. (They now border obsession with their cats, my how times change!) So point is, there are a few things like this that I can identify. Strong values, that I didn't absorb from my environement. And I recall a high level of feeling awareness. How did I feel about things, how did things make others feel, they occupied my focus much of the time. But then also, possibly Se and Ni? Weird stuff, like sitting on my bike with roller-skates on, dog tied to it, trying to get him to pull me down an icey side-walk during winter. Standing in rainstorms holding an umbrella really high, because I believed that if I could capture a gust of wind I'd be able to fly off our porch across the yard. Turning my bike over and spinning the wheels, pretending to control the weather. Lots of magic thinking, powers from rocks I'd collect, etc.

I do feel like it was present, but undifferentiated? I'm not sure if I can identify these things because they were in fact, differentiated, or because they are now. I know that in observing children, it is clear at a very young age that they have distinct personalities and preferences.

I was at a park the other day with my daughter. This little girl (5-6 range) comes and sits next to me on a swing. As she is looking at the play-ground, she goes off on this tangent of what everything 'could be'. The ropes could be made of licorice, the sand is like brown-sugar, the slides, the beams, the steps, the clouds, just on and on. When I asked her if she knew the other girls there (her age, sitting in a group about 15 feet away, neighborhood park) she tells me yes, but they are boring. They just like to chase eachother and build castles. But hey, a moat could be full of chocolate milk, and we could use donuts to float through it....

haha

I think there is something to it

 

[Cellmold]

No I don't and didn't.

My own type right now is a half baked rumination. The only thing i knew as a child was the occasional lifting of mental fog from my usual state of perpetual fear. I was timid and clingy, but knowing my parents I don't know how much of that wasn't just an after effect of their rigidity and desire for 'normality'.

I'm told I was quiet and never smiled (and knowing the enthusiasm my mum takes in trying to receive a form of reciprocation from my nephews) I can picture the frustration in my lack of ' appropriate ' response. Or lack of response at all. This tends to result in forceful efforts from a certain kind of person, who needs that reciprocation, to be slightly negative and critical towards those who won't reward them, assuming, usually incorrectly that the other does not like them or disapproves of them. Although I did enjoy being by myself and making my own entertainment.

My dad was just a mountain of volatility who taught me that right and wrong, truth and false were irrelevant as you are more liable to be the victim of those who hold power and authority within their transitory moods.

I mention this because I think I am a perfect example of a falsified ego. I was very erratic and naturally rebellious as a kid, despite my nervousness, but over time I developed a weird Fe-ism to hide behind. The truth is I don't really understand social cues at all and am actually very socially unaware of others and myself.
I've noticed it from my retail job dealing with lots of people that there is a certain unease from others around me, as if they detect some foreign body to their social immune system.
Their instincts tell them something is off about this person, but they can't put their finger on it.

That's the falsity.

At the moment I'm just working on chipping away at my neurosis and that falsity, trying not to just let myself get sucked into social ritual when the urge arises to disguise myself.

 

[ceecee]

There is this challenge with INTJs that they feel like they know the answer but are not very good at explaining why. An INTJ’s thought process is led through introverted intuition. It is like there are a massive number of thoughts swimming around in your head, an answer pops out and you don’t know how you got there. This happens every day that you live and the timing of the insights you get is unpredictable. As INTJs, we live for these insights. It works the same way for INFJs. The process takes time. While extraverts quickly banter back and forth, the person who leads with dominant introverted intuition (INTJs and INFJs) is often still thinking. They haven’t had time to solidify their perceptions or form a conclusion, so they often say nothing. This is often a great loss to others because they can have important perspectives.

I cannot begin to tell you how frustrating this way of being was early in my life. I knew that I had good ideas but I could not get them implemented because I couldn’t communicate them well to others. From the standpoint of interacting with others, your timing is often off. You have a tendency to bring things up after others feel like they have already talked and arrived at conclusion and so your insights are ignored. You have a tendency to interject things into conversations when they pop into your head vs. when it may the most optimal time to do so. This is complicated of course by the fact that you can’t explain why you got to the answer you did. You just know. Here you are with all of these great insights and ideas and most people you interact with have absolutely no idea the depth of thinking that goes on in your head thus you are unappreciated.

When I was growing up, I had no idea what a personalty type was or a dominant function. I just felt a sense of frustration. I felt that socially others were better at expressing themselves. I felt I had better ideas and judgment but couldn't communicate things very well. I was slower to come to conclusions than other people were. It took me until my 30s until I finally was able to understand some of these differences and leverage my strengths to communicate in a more effective way. It took many years and I'm not even sure what all I did to capitalize on my strengths but ultimately, I was able to better leverage my abilities and feel less of a sense of frustration.

I recall so much frustration as a kid. I grew up in a heavy Te and Si environment and I knew the answers but it was so hard to verbalize, which made people crazy. It still can be. I often grab a legal pad and write it out, even now. Hehe, I totally interject when I think of them (my poor ENFJ but he understands this). I'm not interrupting - I have a better idea and I have to tell you right now! I think of Se like a vacuum, sucking in all kinds of stuff then emptying it into Ni and pow - ideas, whatever! I also learned to play chess as a child, Monopoly (with my own rules), poker and other card games.

 

[Cowardly]

I also learned to play chess as a child, Monopoly (with my own rules), poker and other card games.

I liked those too. Except for cards, which I stopped quite early - some people apparently can't play cards without throwing a fit , that doesn't happen when playing chess (though I haven't got time for it anymore).

I agree with the rest as well. Communication is still just plain hard.

They haven’t had time to solidify their perceptions or form a conclusion, so they often say nothing. This is often a great loss to others because they can have important perspectives.

I find it especially frustrating when you can tell that these other people jumped to hasty conclusions based on insufficient or shaky information, and don't seem willing to consider the variables involved, or to look at the issue from another angle, which could make all the difference in the end.

I also suspect that being silent for so long makes me look like an idiot, but that's less important.

 

[highlander]

I also learned to play chess as a child, Monopoly (with my own rules), poker and other card games.

I did a lot of all three. Still have several trophies and plaques from chess. I remember studying several books on gambling and chess.

 

[Pinina]

Pretty much agree with [MENTION=4347]Virtual ghost[/MENTION], though a bit different circumstances, and Si/Ne instead of Ni/Se. But the same sort of experience.

 

[/DG/]

Probably a bit growing up, due to a tendency to look at the past.

Now: no

 

[Blackout]

Yes, but due to how repressive the environment I was in growing up I felt as though I had to really force my self to act tough all of the time and not show my feelings at all; but I always struggled to be logical or pragmatic enough. I did not like sports, tools or building things so I felt very out of place. I always wanted to be more like a regular male, but failed miserably countless times, and it was only until I started reading about alternative ways of thinking and being that I started to feel really free and not so confused about the world or helpless and alone.
Still, I did not altogether accept my feelings completely, and often felt ashamed about them. It did not help then when I did expose who I was I would just as quickly be met with scorn and and even have things like my sexuality questioned for example, and all together I was just not really accepted. I also failed at being a regular guy, so any sort of facade often fell through as well. I think that generally most of the other guys did not like me, and found later that I seemingly seemed to get along with girls much more. SERIOUSLY, they would just mock or hassle me most of the time. I remember always being an idealist, and being somewhat high-minded, but I was always looked down on for being that way and it was almost viewed as...it was mental problem? it's as if me being this way was confused with somehow not understanding or being able to handle reality and it was always scoffed at by everyone else around me. It seemed like all the adults just wanted to stick it in my head to never really expect or want anything for myself much more beyond the life that surrounded me.


So I guess I mean in a sense, they were always there, and a big part of who I am, but yet I often felt confused and unsure of them. What I wouldn't have given to be a prototypical ISTP man. I don't know why I never gave up. I guess I just couldn't really be myself at home either. But I know that being yourself, being really true to yourself is just not okay in most places.

 

[Reborn Relic]

If one were to measure my type as a child, it'd probably not be INTP. I was closer to ENxP or INFP back then. The key difference between then and now is that I remember my emotions being a lot more automatic and intense--I would cry, feel strong anger, and feel strong happiness really, really frequently. I was also much more visibly extroverted as a child, because I hadn't yet found the internet mostly. I would be constantly bothering people (my brother, mostly) to help me act out whatever creative idea I had at the moment.

I think what changed all that was conscious effort, mostly. I came to suppress my emotions over time due to a desire on my part to be able to do more things and to fit into a preconceived role I desired for myself. Looking back on it, this was a fucking stupid idea and I shouldn't have done it, but enh.