I have a "PTSD" fear of blocking

[Warrior]

on social media. I fear it so much, especially from my INTJ crush, I will obsessively rephrase my messages, if I have sent any, delete them, take back any follow requests I have sent in the past, refresh the page a million times on her page so I can see if the link gets broken, go away from her page then back, and etc. before a while back I sent a text asking her, after I had tagged her in a post and she kindly asked me to remove it, and I accidentally shared that I was protective of her and that's why I tagged her in that particular post so she can gain a particular skill set. I asked if I could follow her, and after posting a few times, eventually told her "nevermind" essentially before she even saw the messages, and then she deleted her profile pic and i assumed she felt unsafe and molested, but then she shared a pic of her with her head resting on her hand for the camera, with what looked like eyeliner. (I assumed she was flirting, but I then felt I was dead wrong). I accidentally (not on purpose this time, actually accidentally) sent a follow request and immediately regretted it and unfollowed, and hoped to God she wouldn't see it. then I asked her an intellectual series of questions about rent control. deleted them all because i felt i would be suffocating her (something tells me this may be the INTP way of second guessing)........i shared with my mom and she yelled at me. i hated everything, then remembered all the feelings I had for her in the past, conjured up an imaginary friend figure version of her (IM NOT SCHIZOPHRENIC) to comfort me, and cried myself to rest. what should i do?