lithasblot
New member
- Joined
- May 18, 2010
- Messages
- 7
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
I've been good friends with an INFJ for a couple months now (we're in a graduate program together) and about a month ago I noticed that there seemed to be something romantic brewing between us. I was just getting that feeling-- from the look on her face, the touching, the little gifts-- of like, hmm, something's going on.
So, I said something about it and was really surprised when she said she wasn't feeling that way about me. She really was acting like she had a crush on me or something, so I was baffled. Usually my intuition is really spot on about these things-- I can usually read people really well.
Anyway, we're still friends and I've been giving her lots of space and was adjusting to the fact that she doesn't feel the way I thought she was feeling, but her behavior is still the same-- little thoughtful gifts, heartfelt notes & cards, and lingering in my car when I drop her off (like, for 45 minutes), with *that look* on her face.
What's going on with this INFJ I adore so much?
Potentially relevant detail: The program we're in discourages relationships between students (it's an intensive psychology program). When I talked to her about what was going on between us, I did it in the spirit of "Hey, let's name this thing and be honest about it" rather than "let's date and totally ignore the rule." I didn't suggest that we start a covert relationship or anything like that. I don't think I put any pressure on her.
But maybe I did?
If you're an INFJ, what do you think of this situation? Can you imagine outwardly denying your feelings in order to preserve something, not rock the boat, or whatever?
Or, damn you, you awesome, sweet INFJs, is this how you are with all your friends??
Thanks in advance, forum friends, for your insight/advice.
So, I said something about it and was really surprised when she said she wasn't feeling that way about me. She really was acting like she had a crush on me or something, so I was baffled. Usually my intuition is really spot on about these things-- I can usually read people really well.
Anyway, we're still friends and I've been giving her lots of space and was adjusting to the fact that she doesn't feel the way I thought she was feeling, but her behavior is still the same-- little thoughtful gifts, heartfelt notes & cards, and lingering in my car when I drop her off (like, for 45 minutes), with *that look* on her face.
What's going on with this INFJ I adore so much?
Potentially relevant detail: The program we're in discourages relationships between students (it's an intensive psychology program). When I talked to her about what was going on between us, I did it in the spirit of "Hey, let's name this thing and be honest about it" rather than "let's date and totally ignore the rule." I didn't suggest that we start a covert relationship or anything like that. I don't think I put any pressure on her.
But maybe I did?
If you're an INFJ, what do you think of this situation? Can you imagine outwardly denying your feelings in order to preserve something, not rock the boat, or whatever?
Or, damn you, you awesome, sweet INFJs, is this how you are with all your friends??
Thanks in advance, forum friends, for your insight/advice.