B
brainheart
Guest
Through the years I have noticed that if I truly open up and express how I feel, people think I am childish, immature, concerned about unimportant things, selfish, defending the wrong person/wrong cause, making things up, living in a fantasy world.
I think the perfect example of the INFP experience is the Calvin and Hobbes when he is signed up for baseball during recess. They put him in the outfield because no one wants him on their team. The teams switch, he's still in the outfield, he actually finally catches the ball and he's so proud of himself, but it's for the wrong team so everyone yells at him and tells him he's an idiot. I still have a hard time reading that comic, it resonates far too well.
The only time I feel like I am appreciated by others is when I listen to them and help them out with their lives. If I ever try to talk about myself or my concerns, I'm a greedy bastard. The fact that I'm happy writing/playing music but don't care all that much about getting it published or being successful makes others wonder when I am going to 'make something of myself'. It's like I can't win.
And I'm sure many others are going to read this and think I'm whining. 'Fucking deal' they will say. 'That's life. Get over yourself.' Years of not knowing how to interact with others the way others seem to so naturally can take it's toll. It's exhausting and it's gotten to the point that I don't talk to anyone freely other than my kids, because I know they respect and appreciate me and aren't going to tell me my concerns or interests are a waste of time or ridiculous. For now, anyway.
I think the perfect example of the INFP experience is the Calvin and Hobbes when he is signed up for baseball during recess. They put him in the outfield because no one wants him on their team. The teams switch, he's still in the outfield, he actually finally catches the ball and he's so proud of himself, but it's for the wrong team so everyone yells at him and tells him he's an idiot. I still have a hard time reading that comic, it resonates far too well.
The only time I feel like I am appreciated by others is when I listen to them and help them out with their lives. If I ever try to talk about myself or my concerns, I'm a greedy bastard. The fact that I'm happy writing/playing music but don't care all that much about getting it published or being successful makes others wonder when I am going to 'make something of myself'. It's like I can't win.
And I'm sure many others are going to read this and think I'm whining. 'Fucking deal' they will say. 'That's life. Get over yourself.' Years of not knowing how to interact with others the way others seem to so naturally can take it's toll. It's exhausting and it's gotten to the point that I don't talk to anyone freely other than my kids, because I know they respect and appreciate me and aren't going to tell me my concerns or interests are a waste of time or ridiculous. For now, anyway.