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[...] I think self love is a choice and separate from anything in the outside world. I can still choose to love myself if I am 300 pounds, look like Jabba the Hutt and am a homeless bum. self love is a belief, and one that can be held in any circumstance. ego on the other hand is an externally based feeling of awesomeness that does rely on external stimuli (though, I don't think ego is a bad thing, just that ego should be subservient to reality and self esteem)
Okay, I’m understanding you better.
As for ego, we both seem in agreement on ego and its place in the world.
As for embracing self-esteem irrespective of outside circumstances: Yes, that’s healthy to a certain extent. In a way, that’s the definition of adopting a proactive attitude. That is, you don’t merely react unthinkingly to your environment. When faced with a simulus or situation, you use things like self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will to choose your own path and your own way to deal with things.
But again, there tends to be a feedback loop happening there. After all, that particular exercise is carried out in the context of dealing with the world. IOW, it’s difficult for me to imagine self-esteem inflated by mere hot air and hanging like a balloon overhead, unaffected by what’s happening in the world.
Nothing is wrong with telling yourself that you’re lovable; but then you go face the 9-to-5 rat race, the nagging wife, anxiety over an upcoming presentation, etc. The self-love self-affirmations seem hollow compared to the daily collision of egos. Better to address those external problems and work on self-esteem bolstered by confidence in one’s ability to handle the world, i.e., let the internal signals and external signals be mutually reinforcing.
There is also the question of how you fan the flames of self-love. Do you do it with self-affirmations? Self-indulgence? Shopping binges? Alcohol?
But other than that, I suppose I have no problem with boosting self-love as a general self-improvement exercise.