Tiltyred
New member
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2008
- Messages
- 4,322
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 468
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
I have a person in my life now who will email me several times a day, and I answer in monosyllables and say I am working, I have work, I'm trying to concentrate on work, I am fine, weekend was fine, every FREAKING THING IS FINE...*steam starting to come out my ears* Then she's like, "Well, if you want to talk, just give me a call ..." (Do I act like I want to talk??) and then she makes a surprise visit to my desk and stands there asking me how I am, how's my day, while her eyes are on the papers on my desk and I can see the wheels turning, her wanting to know what I'm working on that's so important. Sometimes it is work, sometimes it is just that I don't want to talk on that day, to anyone. Sometimes that's because something's bothering me; sometimes it isn't.
I have realized that the "Well, if you want to talk" means that she wants to talk, so I have figured out that asking her if there's anything she wants to tell me will get that out of the way without my having to invest too much but listen and say whatever's appropriate. But it doesn't take care of the rest of it. I am at the point of making up flash cards that say "Leave. Me. Alone."
I also realize it's not all about me, and as badly as I need to be left alone, she might need contact, so I do try to compromise. But for the times when I feel like my head is going to explode ... advice please.
And do the rest of you ever get like this?
I have realized that the "Well, if you want to talk" means that she wants to talk, so I have figured out that asking her if there's anything she wants to tell me will get that out of the way without my having to invest too much but listen and say whatever's appropriate. But it doesn't take care of the rest of it. I am at the point of making up flash cards that say "Leave. Me. Alone."
I also realize it's not all about me, and as badly as I need to be left alone, she might need contact, so I do try to compromise. But for the times when I feel like my head is going to explode ... advice please.
And do the rest of you ever get like this?