When I think of the hundreds if not thousands of hours I've invested, baring my heart and soul in the interest of communications, showing INFJ's genuine emotion centered in the construct of my inner space and to see it makes no difference at all... can you imagine how saddening that is? Reading my old posts brings tears to my eyes at how naive I was to think that this was the answer.
I've concluded over the course of the 5 years that I have been here that Fi is indeed utterly inaccessible and even invisible to (nearly all) INFJs. I mistakenly thought that because you were Ni doms you would be able to shift perspective and see even just a wee slice of what it's like to exist in my inner realm, and if you did, we could connect. I've explained it and I've demonstrated it. I do not have Ni in my construct but I can still sense your place in it, even though that feels quite mystical to me.
You have no idea how much farther I come to meet you than you come to meet me. If you knew, it would make you cry too.
[MENTION=5999]PeaceBaby[/MENTION], I just had a conversation with my INFP partner about this particular comment you posted and have also been discussing this thread with her for some time.
Two things came up that we both agree on:
1. We both feel that the problem you have with INFJs is
not due to you being an INFP, but instead due to something else about you as an individual.
To speak from my specific location in a real life INFJ/INFP dynamic: I have had tons and TONS of difficulty of communication with my partner and we've had lots of struggles related to differences in our respective cognitive functions. And she simply hasn't tried to accommodate me the way you claim you try to accommodate INFJs. Not at all.
That said, I genuinely like her and for the most part enjoy being around her. You, on the other hand, feel icky to me at the gut-visceral level. This icky feeling in me is not the same as INFJ/INFP cognitive function tensions. I've interacted with other INFPs as well and felt the cognitive function tensions. It's not the same thing as how I feel you. There's something about you in particular, as an individual, not sourced to INFP/INFJ cognitive function differences and tensions that repels me at a visceral level.
It seems to both myself and my INFP partner that you've managed to mask whatever this is about you as an individual behind the very real tensions that can arise between INFJs and INFPs. This blurs up a lot of discussion, because your individual stuff (that isn't due to INFJ-INFP differences) gets tangled up in the INFJ-INFP-dynamic discussion. This tangle creates an escalated/heightened level of affect in the thread, and is not particularly useful for clarity IMO.
2. In response to your lamenting about your interactions with INFJs given all your efforts:
My partner said it best: "If this group [INFJs] aren't a fit for her, she should find other people to connect with who aren't INFJ. No big deal."
I agree. I see a lot of evidence, in your own self-reporting, in the interactions on this board, and in my brief interactional experience of you from the very beginning, that you're trying to connect with people who aren't a good fit for you. Sometimes there just isn't a good fit. This happens in life, everyone is not a good fit with everyone else for personal connections, and it's not the end of the world. I think my partner is correct when she says, "Just move on, then."
And again, to be clear, I do not think any of this leads back into the "can INFJs (generally) and INFPs (generally) bridge the differences and tensions between us" (which is the collective rut that things fall into sometimes). Because as I said above, both myself and my INFP partner think that your difficulties with INFJs are NOT due to your INFP cognitive functions in you, but rather something else that is specific to you as an individual - something that has gotten way too tangled into the other, real tensions between our two types.
And also again to be clear: not only are my INFP partner and I in accord on the above, but she led the analysis I'm sharing above.