Challengers/Trophies: EIE (ENFj), IEI (INFp)
These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."
(Added by [MENTION=26269]Kheledon[/MENTION]--EIE is designed to change its behaviors and adjust itself to meet the needs of those it encounters, but there can be no doubt that I continue to "play" the hot-cold game with my romantic partners, often in an unproductive manner.)
They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.
...
Victims: EIE (ENFj), IEI (INFp), LIE (ENTj), ILI (INTp)
The Victim types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Ni in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the Ego element Ni, coupled with their expectations of Se style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in a Victim's behavior.
Typical characteristics of the Victim romance style
- prone to initial doubts about intensity of own interest in another person
- not always confident about revealing that interest
- inclined to focus on whether or not the other person might reciprocate the interest
- inclined to question whether or not the other person's interest will remain constant with time
(Added by [MENTION=26269]Kheledon[/MENTION]--This explains my paranoia, and my mate has given me good reason to be paranoid.)
- preference for partners that provoke in the individual a certain sense of awe in terms of power, physical presence, and the like
- appreciation for the sense of power-play present when interacting with such partners, with acceptance of a slight sense of superiority on the part of the partner, without ever actually "submitting" to them
(Added by [MENTION=26269]Kheledon[/MENTION]--This explains why, after so many years with my mate, I am inclined to be in awe of her power as a woman and why I would see this issue as so very crucial in human, interrealtional affairs.)
- this takes the form of the individual somewhat expecting the partner to be "mean" on occasion
- in the case of Victim males with female partners, this latter trait assumes a characteristic analogous to a "knight devoted to his princess"
- inclination to openly admit to a relationship having been ended by the partner rather than by the individual himself
This romance style is defined by focus on Ni which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of inner imagery away from the present physical reality. This means that a Victim sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural. This accounts for a Victim's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as to its longer-term perspectives and implications, as well as a certain expectation that the partner will continuously take action to confirm the attraction. Failure on the partner to do so results on the individual assuming that it's already changing. The individual counts on the partner to forcefully bring the individual "down to earth from his thoughts " and focus on the immediate physical reality, continuously.
(Added by [MENTION=26269]Kheledon[/MENTION]--Because I see my attraction to my mate as dynamic, I can love her and hate her with equal intensity from time to time or at the same time, and this should cause her distress because, for her, attraction is static.)
Socionics - the16types.info - Socionics Romancing Styles