Mal12345
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2011
- Messages
- 14,532
- MBTI Type
- IxTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
From http://elfwreck.homecircle.org/stuph/VSD_Basics.pdf
3. Satir Modes
These 5 communication modes were first described by Virginia Satir in her book Peoplemaking.
Blamer: This mode comes out of a need to feel powerful. Blamers act like they are in charge, and
whatever's wrong must be somebody else's fault. Blamer-mode communication often sounds angry.
"Why are you ALWAYS DOING things like THAT?" or "Only an IDIOT would leave the door open on
a hot day like today."
Placater: This comes out of a wish to avoid conflict, and a fear that everyone will abandon the speaker.
Placaters insist that things are all their own fault, and that they'll go along with whatever the other person says.
Placater-mode sounds frightened and desperate.
"Oh, you know I don't mind. WhatEVER you decide is okay with me" or "WHY do these things always
happen to ME?
Computer: This comes out of a fear of showing one's real feelings. Computers try to avoid saying "I",
and sound very formal.
"That is a perfectly normal reaction to this crisis" or "One must remember always to close containers
after they have been opened."
Distracter: This is a confused blend of other modes. Distracters are panicked, and jump between modes.
"Don't you talk to ME like that, young lady! I'm sure any rational person would be calm right now.
Please, just settle down; I'll be quiet if you will, okay?"
Leveler: This is just what it sounds like—someone who's telling the straight truth about their thoughts
and feelings. However, there are phony levelers, who've learned to act like they're being truthful and telling just
their plain feelings; these are the hardest to spot, and the most dangerous. (Tony's statement in the sample story
is an example of phony leveling.)
"I hate it when you tap your pencil like that" or "I'd rather skip the movie and catch up with you later."
3. Satir Modes
These 5 communication modes were first described by Virginia Satir in her book Peoplemaking.
Blamer: This mode comes out of a need to feel powerful. Blamers act like they are in charge, and
whatever's wrong must be somebody else's fault. Blamer-mode communication often sounds angry.
"Why are you ALWAYS DOING things like THAT?" or "Only an IDIOT would leave the door open on
a hot day like today."
Placater: This comes out of a wish to avoid conflict, and a fear that everyone will abandon the speaker.
Placaters insist that things are all their own fault, and that they'll go along with whatever the other person says.
Placater-mode sounds frightened and desperate.
"Oh, you know I don't mind. WhatEVER you decide is okay with me" or "WHY do these things always
happen to ME?
Computer: This comes out of a fear of showing one's real feelings. Computers try to avoid saying "I",
and sound very formal.
"That is a perfectly normal reaction to this crisis" or "One must remember always to close containers
after they have been opened."
Distracter: This is a confused blend of other modes. Distracters are panicked, and jump between modes.
"Don't you talk to ME like that, young lady! I'm sure any rational person would be calm right now.
Please, just settle down; I'll be quiet if you will, okay?"
Leveler: This is just what it sounds like—someone who's telling the straight truth about their thoughts
and feelings. However, there are phony levelers, who've learned to act like they're being truthful and telling just
their plain feelings; these are the hardest to spot, and the most dangerous. (Tony's statement in the sample story
is an example of phony leveling.)
"I hate it when you tap your pencil like that" or "I'd rather skip the movie and catch up with you later."