rainoneventide
New member
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2009
- Messages
- 364
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4
I relate mucho. I've been talking to a counselor, so I already know where my feelings to please others originated--my parents. When I was in 5th grade, I distinctly remember my mom yelling at me, telling me that she wished I was never born and that it was my fault her and my dad were going to get divorced. So yeah, that basically sums up... everything.
It's very hard and very tiring to gain the strength and courage to overcome these ingrained beliefs, but I've realized that I really don't want everyone to like me, anyway. I mean, imagine everyone in the whole world automatically loving you the moment they set eyes on you (that's kind of extreme, but whatever, lol). It's just... wrong.
Also, I have always automatically assumed that everyone but me is confident and happy and generally just better off than I am, so I feel like I'm worthless and not worth their time. But I've realized that most people have the same feelings of insecurity that I have. So if I concentrate on that and less on myself, socializing becomes a lot less stressful--it makes me realize that everyone is on the same level. I am seeing someone and automatically judging them even though I haven't taken the time to know them, and they are most likely doing the same to me. I dunno, I just think that's comforting for some reason.
It's very hard and very tiring to gain the strength and courage to overcome these ingrained beliefs, but I've realized that I really don't want everyone to like me, anyway. I mean, imagine everyone in the whole world automatically loving you the moment they set eyes on you (that's kind of extreme, but whatever, lol). It's just... wrong.
Also, I have always automatically assumed that everyone but me is confident and happy and generally just better off than I am, so I feel like I'm worthless and not worth their time. But I've realized that most people have the same feelings of insecurity that I have. So if I concentrate on that and less on myself, socializing becomes a lot less stressful--it makes me realize that everyone is on the same level. I am seeing someone and automatically judging them even though I haven't taken the time to know them, and they are most likely doing the same to me. I dunno, I just think that's comforting for some reason.