To be rejected or hurt is to be in the game of life.
it's crazy, but there are literally zero people i know that dislike me (and know me).
that's how hard i try.
To be rejected or hurt is to be in the game of life.
it's crazy, but there are literally zero people i know that dislike me (and know me).
that's how hard i try.
You just said "and know you", which implies that you weren't having to try to be anything in particular.. But then you say, "that's how hard I try".
Do any of these people that do not dislike you know the you that is not trying?
How do you deal with people wanting conflicting things from you? That seems to be a core issue in this - anything a person does will make at least someone like them and another person dislike them. The frustration of that can be a first step to letting go of trying to please them all. Sometimes it can be good for another person to be challenged - to do something they don't like. What do you think about that?there is no me that is not trying
How do you deal with people wanting conflicting things from you?
That seems to be a core issue in this - anything a person does will make at least someone like them and another person dislike them.
The frustration of that can be a first step to letting go of trying to please them all. Sometimes it can be good for another person to be challenged - to do something they don't like. What do you think about that?
that's why i play the observer role almost all of the time (except with really close friends) -- if you don't DO anything, you can't do something wrong. when i'm forced to choose a loyalty, i go out of my way to mend any hurt feelings (even if i don't care much about the person). it's a weird compulsion...
And I have found that each person is more interested in themselves than they are in me.
And in a way this frees me to be myself. For when I am not liked, I know it doesn't have much to do with me but is more a reflection of the person themselves.
And of course love loves love. So when you love with courage, you are often loved in return.
And not needing to be liked, but simlpy liking to be liked, enables you to step outside the taken-for-granted into ecstasy.
Also, I'd like to know if anyone here has gotten over this, how they did that, and how they understand the need for admiration/valuation. I'm also open to hearing what people think about this, but please, no type talk (if you're going to address your comments to me only). If you want to share that you do this but have no advice, that's cool.
I see nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable and insecure when we really like someone. Not that I think it's a walk in the park or anything, but I'm just saying that I think it's normal.
According to Freud, as a newborn baby, we only possess an "Id". The "Id" is base, selfish and narcissistic by necessity to aide in our survival at the time. But the "Id" is the antithesis of love imo (because to love is to give) and if we want to love and be loved in return we must detach from this Id. I think this is a slow and gradual process which takes many years, up to a lifetime, for us to detach and to fully love others. I see the process as a beautiful, complex, and often times frustrating dance that we must perform if we are to be truly evolved and enlightened. Just my opinion.
But, yes, it is disturbing and hard.
I apologize for the length of this post....
As for needing people's approval, I was thinking today about how much I hate watching people get embarrassed. I can't even watch it on TV, like when Leno interviews people and asks them easy stupid questions. I have to change the channel because the feeling I get are overwhelming. It makes me think that I'm just very sensitive to feeling rejection. Even seeing it in another person will trigger certain circuits and memories and feelings that are very intense, for which I still don't have the courage to face or a good coping mechanism to work with.