Forever
Permabanned
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2013
- Messages
- 8,550
- MBTI Type
- NiFi
- Enneagram
- 3w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
This is a good point. There is an overlap between the concept of "seer" and "psychic".
It think the problem comes when people take the idea of Ni and make it really concrete and specific. When it means the person can 'read their mind', or gain specific "facts" about a person without much effort, then it becomes arrogant and open to drawing incorrect conclusions. I completely understand why that is offensive, and have had other people tell me who I am, what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking. There was a period in my life when a few people would have conversations with me telling me what I thought and felt, why that hurt them, how they feel about it, etc., and I would listen and wonder when I would get to participate in this "conflict" we were having because it was all news to me. I've had people with every judging function Te, Fe, Ti, and Fi do this. It happens when people have fears and/or need certitude. I think the main issue is when you are quiet and blank as an introvert, people will paint upon you their fears. It is difficult for any of us to live with uncertainty.
Freud deliberately used that technique in his therapy sessions, and Freudian therapists are trained to be a "blank slate" to draw out people's natural tendency to project. The therapist sits behind the patient, and the patient lies on a couch, so they can't directly see each other easily. The therapist says almost nothing. Then as the patient explores intense emotional memories, they begin to project the idea of the person who hurt them onto the therapist. Then the therapist responds to the unhealthy dynamic in a reasoned, healthy manner to help give the patient a reset button on their harmful experience. If you want to learn about other people, then be quiet, blank, and mysterious. They will quickly let you know everything they fear when not given information to the contrary. The more blank you are, the more they will make intrusive assumptions. Of course not everyone does this, but it happens.
Anytime an INFJ is doing this to people, then yes, that is hurtful and of course people won't like it. I have done it when I start to feel threatened, but only internally, and my first response is to be reminded of a sense of existential isolation. I work to live by this mantra, "If you can't understand it, then you are not in a position to judge it". Also, when you do understand, you are naturally less likely to judge.
Haha, I will need to practice my introvert side of holding back what I have to say, I sometimes can get pretty verbal sometimes giving premature analyses of people too often. I tend to actually be part of the "giving" side all too often that I give myself away too easily but over the years I've been better at showing myself slower and slower, and even while I have been so vulnerable, I still don't understand myself as well.
Often times I hold back giving advice because when I feel what others *might* feel, I guess I don't have enough experience to say hey I'm feeling what you're feeling too, in fears of being perceived as fake or hoaky especially since I'm male and others may be to judge me based on my sex/gender. So if I don't have an actual experience to back it up, I often remain quiet and people will see me as unstable because I don't have words to back myself up. Even though I know we're very one on one people, I'd love to observe how therapy sessions go just to see the interactions and look for patterns on how to respond. Of course there's the private barrier so I either have to somehow find a close friend and another who trusts me and him/her and watch what goes on, which seems like a rare situation.
If you have any recommendations where I don't need this kind of extreme to learn to best use my talents, I'd love to know where. It's amazing to read Carl Jung and his experiences but I never really get to hear what he exactly says to patients and things. It's odd, I like to gather patterns when information is abundant and detailed but not just only told principles because a principle still has an attached meaning which I haven't grasped yet.
Thanks for being patient for my delayed response.