KLessard
Aspiring Troens Ridder
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2008
- Messages
- 595
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 1w2
I've been in a similar situation with an ENTP friend of mine for a while. He's got 100% P (NO J at all). He constistently shows up late, sleeps through things he should be at, doesn't follow through with things he says he's going to do and... has 100 million friends he still manages to hang out with.
Earlier last week he called me and needed to talk. Even after a long day at work, things scheduled after work, and being close to when I'm usually winding down for the night, I go out to meet him. I listen to him talk for an hour, then his phone rings and he talks on the phone for 10 minutes while I just sit there.
He's moving to a new place. He wanted boxes and I knew there were some at work that I could give him. I drove BACK to work at 8:30 last night to get them and said I'd meet him at my place. When he gets there, we load the boxes into his car.. I really wanted to talk about some stuff that had me down and mentioned how it was getting cold. He said he couldn't stay because he was supposed to go watch Lost with a bunch of friends..
"Thanks for not being there for me when I've been there for you, patiently waiting for you to show up, waiting for you to get off the phone call you answered when I came out to listen to YOU talk to ME." That's what I wanted to say.
I'm still a little irked at him. I honestly think it doesn't even cross his mind that all this stuff bothers me. I think that, like your friend did, he probably will move on VERY easily - he has a ton of friends he could hang out with any night of the week. I have very few. So do I want to distance myself from him? Sometimes. He hangs out with several groups of people, mine included. So to distance myself from him would actually be bad for me because I'd have to leave my group behind to do this. Not an option.
Perhaps the people we INFJs let into our lives, when they hurt us, it wounds us so deeply that we fear being 'betrayed' like that again. I think the difficulty in forgiving could be indicative of how much damage was done or how close to home the damage was.
Yes, Yes, yes. I've got to learn the P way better. Something similar's happened to me with an ISFP lately, and I totally feel like she was avoiding me. I had come all the way from Montreal to Halifax to meet her, and mentioned my visit in a letter sent a month and a half before. She gave me a big hug and sounded happy to see me, but said she didn't know I was coming and was busy that week-end (she had a good reason, she was helping an old aunt with her shopping because she had no car). I was awful disappointed but we still planned to meet at the pub where she was playing (fiddle) before the concert so I could take some pictures of her for my artwork (she's served me as model for portraits) and talk a bit. She didn't show up. When she finally arrived for the music, she saw me sitting there and came up to me with a huge smile: "Hey! Did you have a nice day?" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Didn't even seem to care or remember about our meeting. I shook my head sadly, but frankly. She saw my face and lost her smile. "I'll come talk to you at the break," she said. I am waiting until the break. She puts her fiddle down and goes to sit with some friends and acquaintances right away. She never came to see me. I was crushed.
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