Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)
1w2/7w6/3w4 ESTJ.
How do you experience self-doubt?
What causes it?
I tend to be certain by default, because it's easier to operate that way, and I try not to spend too much time regretting things because unless I can actually change that past mistake, then there's no point. (Of course, I do regret things, a lot, when I'm in INFP/4 shadow mode. But I digress.) However, when precedent shows that I shouldn't be certain*, then I start to doubt myself. So, for me, self-doubt comes with lack of confidence, and both of those things are rare, which means I'm not as good at dealing with them, or understanding them, as other people are.
*i.e. if I've lost faith in my own abilities and/or judgment, generally because either a. I've failed something similar, or b. I've recently done something, thought I did well, and then was told that I did not do well.
Fear. A very childish kind of fear, not an educated, adult fear. Straight from the gut.
What do you do or show on the outside?
What I do: Try my best to push my self-doubt aside and get the job done in spite of it. Of course, I may waste time, in there, i.e. delay the task, or I may seriously consider giving up, but inevitably I keep moving.
What I show: Nothing. Hopefully. Not unless I tell someone about it. And when I do, I tend to pretty much look like I'm in control of the situation (even if I'm not). Only if the self-doubt is very severe, will I appear differently, and then I'll look and sound much more subdued. Deflated, I guess, would be a good word for it.
What is self-doubt to you?
Doubting my abilities, and my competence.
I tend to subscribe to the you-are-what-you-do school of thought. Doesn't matter if you feel like a good person, if you never act on it. Although my Fi (and probably my 3w4) gives me this slightly pretentious sense of something Special deep down, it's very easy for that Special something to be invalidated by external failures, as I do measure my self by my abilities and accomplishments. Doesn't make for the best self-care.