substitute
New member
- Joined
- May 27, 2007
- Messages
- 4,601
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
NT's don't tend to have as many feelings for most people they meet than non-NT's. This makes some people uneasy. If they are insecure, they mistake it for rejection.
Discuss.
Even the people I'd say I love the most, like my kids, my best friends, my brother etc, I still know that if they were to disappear and I never saw them again, so long as I knew they were safe and happy, I wouldn't be distraught and would be unlikely to miss them much.
It isn't that I don't love them or care... I'm not sure what it is. Maybe... I just don't need to 'own' them. You know? Like it feels to me sometimes when people tell me they're attached to me and I 'mean so much' to them, that they kind of think of me as a beloved piece of bric-a-brac that they want to maintain in the scenery of their mental garage. They don't want me going out in the garage sale... like they think of me as something they tentatively 'own'. I don't like that feeling.
I've totally lost count of the number of times that people have said to and of me that I'm their best friend, that I'm someone really special to them and they think of me as so close, like family etc etc, when I actually feel very little towards them. I think sometimes they mistake the things I do for being things done out of attachment to them, which were actually just done out of my own nature... things I'd do for anyone at all, maybe they wouldn't, so they assume I wouldn't either, and the fact that I did them for them must therefore mean that I care for them more than other people.
In other words, sometimes the 'symptoms' of love/attachment and Feeling can be confused with the symptoms of logic/reasonableness and Thinking. The same actions can come out of two very different thought processes. Like when I heard a friend complaining that he never got go to on vacation and loved camping but didn't know anyone else who wanted to go with him, and I figured at the time I didn't have a car and I wanted to go camping, so I just thought logically, if we cooperate we both get what we want and he's not bad company to boot. But he saw it as a 'gesture' of me wanting our friendship to be closer and all that sort of stuff that was nowhere in my mind at all. Which caused problems later cos he's gay... lol we live and learn eh?