A person remembers how an exchange feels, and although they might not be analyzing it consciously, 'not a problem' will diminish that feeling. It's fine if you don't care about how the people you conduct business with feel, but if you're attempting to survive in some form of sales in the real world, that frame of mind is a death sentence. I hope you have a trust fund.
I can honestly say that I don't bother thinking about an interaction with a cashier after I leave a store. If I say anything at all, it will usually be something which actually regards them as a human being along what
Population: 1 described, rather than a performing drone to help me feel better about my own place in the world by virtue of the unequal relationship between us. The idea that this sort of fake crap is relevant to whether some people are able to put food on their table because of irrational people who want to be fed an illusion for every minute of their waking lives is rather repulsive to me. I'm actually less inclined to visit a store that puts on a bigger "act" because it's so damn bizarre to me.
And I'm not in sales, no.
The only thing required for trust is predictability. And in business I like pleasantness and a well mannered disposition to be among the things one can predict.
The world is tough. We're the fragile ones, which is why we tread cautiously.
I'll take a genuine but somewhat unpleasant world any day, but then I find unpleasantness in the idea of someone being forced to sell out part of what makes them human with the assumption that my ego is truly that fragile. It's actually somewhat insulting that anyone would feel the need to act that way - some might actually be that fragile, but I am not. Why should anyone have to pander to people like this?
No, I'm being validated by people of all walks of life and age and outlook because I embody traits that are objectively admirable.
This isn't adding anything new. If the traits were truly universally admirable, I don't think this exchange would be taking place.
Clearly not everyone values the performances you demand from others, else you wouldn't be attempting to demonize an entire group of people with your very next statements. You keep patting yourself on the back though if it helps you sleep at night...
Which is kind of a big deal, since anyone could probably do the same and share in my success. Especially millennial types, who seem to be struggling with that very thing.
I don't really consider acting falsely and being as fragile as you describe to be any degree of success, personally. Even if I were poor (I'm not), I'd sooner continue to retain
all of my personhood. Also, the idea of there being any great level of "success" for the aforementioned cashiers in America is just delusional, millennial or not.
This article does a good job validating my position on the matter:
A Case Against The Phrase 'No Problem' : 13.7: Cosmos And Culture : NPR
"To my ear, though, "no problem" is absolutely the wrong way to reply to an expression of thanks — for the simple reason that saying "thank you" isn't, or shouldn't be, a veiled way of making an apology.
Saying "no problem" in place of "you're welcome" always strikes me as self-defeating. I thank you for your service, or your gesture, or your generosity, or you kindness. So why are you even mentioning problems?
By saying "no problem," it always seems to me as if what you are really saying is: "It is a problem and I forgive you for it."
If every act of kindness is expected to solicit the embarrassed spirit of apology on the part of the beneficiary, then it's not much of a kindness, is it?
It calls attention to the negative, the problems, the inconveniences, the good deed and, so, it swells the one getting thanked and diminishes the one thanking. It negates the gratitude by transforming into debt and apology."
I know this was mentioned by another user here, but this completely falls apart in the underlined section because the writer is deliberately misrepresenting the phrase. Literally, "No problem" can be more closely related to "It
is not a problem". Hence the inclusion of the word "no". How then does someone get "It
is a problem" out of that? Worst case scenario, I might interpret, "It
could have been a problem, (implied: but it
was not)". How absurd.
Besides which, this is
all negated by the fact that a mindless repetition of the phrase "Thank you" is so very often utterly lacking in sincere gratitude from the start. You've already admitted you're just spitting out phrases devoid of any deeper meaning; it's all a business transaction to you. Why not just save time and effort by removing all of these ridiculous stock phrases altogether? Wouldn't this be more efficient? More mechanical? You're clearly already seeking to remove the authentic human element. Best case scenario (for purposes of feedback, I suppose), shouldn't you be looking for a shortened form of "Good doing business with [you] today"?
And do you really think that the cashier who just checked you out is doing so out of
kindness? They don't require your vaunted false gratitude because they're already being "thanked" in the form of a (probably small) paycheck. Make no mistake, they're not stuffing your shit into a bag because they
want to, they're only doing it because there is a very material reward in doing it. Do you honestly believe that the average cashier would seek to perform a kindness in such a mindless, repetitive task if they actually had any further choice in the matter? And if they did, what makes you believe that they care about your gratitude at all? Is any kindness
actually for the sake of another person, or are we not all, in our very cores, incredibly selfish creatures trying to delude ourselves into believing quite the opposite? The whole idea of
kindness being present at all is one of the biggest mistakes in this whole mindset.
I'd very much like to see how far this could be constructed as an Fe vs. Fi thing, because it seems to me that Fe in this instance could be renamed "De", along the lines of
Extroverted Delusion. The idea of a life with it as my leading function seems unfathomable...