Sorry girls, I was just talking about some of the passion I've seen. It's amazing and at times calls to one to bow down when recieving the more positive end of it.
*pats the kitty*
I love that 10 ft flame feeling myself. And you've struck upon part of what I'm talking about. That consumptive passion that seems to be there whether I'm happy or sad or clinical or filing my nails or even asleep. I don't feel angry, as such. Just like FIRE. I don't know how else to describe it. I seem to engage everything this way by instinct. Something like a wild animal that can't help itself? It's on and running behind the scenes 24/7. This is one of those things that I've felt a need to back away from -- not because I think it's bad but because it doesn't seem to fit the idea of love for most people. I don't know many people who chose to take a tiger on its terms. I wish I was more
benign? Is that the word I want?
I've got two modes -- on and off. When I love you, I love you forever. Therefore I resist love. And my nature fights back, driving me toward it. Likewise, when I hate something, the hate is hard to shake off. I have an elephant memory to aide this, for better or worse. I seem to love and hate in a big ball of fire, but it's not irrational or even destructive. It just seems transmuting? One state of being to another?
One of my INFJ friends, when he talks about his cameras, he combusts and smiles and it's intense. When he talks about something that makes him really angry, he combusts and bites his lips and it's intense. The intensity is the constant.
And lately ... not sure if this is a sign of age/wisdom/hard experience, but it also depends on whether I can change the situation with the indignation. Sometimes that's just a brick wall and everyone ends up bloody and bruised. Sometimes you just have to remove/rescue the individual from the situation.
Fascinating! That's not anything I've ever heard before! Can you describe a moment where you used this sort if indignation to force a change?
Well for the most part I try to hide my emotions and I have a huge amount of self-control even when I am EXTREMELY pissed off.
I can relate to this. I feel *everything* with an excruciating vividness, and anger is one I actively avoid because it hurts me physically. Sometimes the tidal wave breaks over me and I just stand there and shake, trying to contain myself.
I exercise every day, myself. I have to -- for psychological and physical reasons.
I find my displays of anger somewhat funny in a poetic justice sort of way, as when I blow my top, people often don't expect me too
Same here. Like I'm going to keep taking slaps without reacting because I've been reining it in. Everyone has their limits though.
"You've never seemed like that kind of guy."
"In all the years I've known you, you were never like that."
"Wow, bro."
"He's like the Incredible Hulk"
I don't like getting angry.
My response is always the same. "I a pretty lax guy, If someone actually managed to get me angry at them, they probably deserved it."
I've getting a mental image of you turning green and ripping your shirt!
Yes. I can try to describe it. I'm protective of certain ideas to the point where it can take people by surprise with the sudden turn from someone who is very calm, cool, and collected to someone who is assertive and passionate about the topic.
I do this too. I'm moderately extroverted (meaning I enjoy company, but need a LOT of recharge time every day, alone) and I *still* manage to turn on a dime when I'm caught up in a thought process and take people around off guard. I've really had to work on that, make myself conscious of my moods and thoughts so I can make others aware of what's happening and even to stop any cascade before it starts.
I suppose it's just a very passionate part of myself that does, as you suggested, burn like a fire (and is impartial and analytical in essence, though it can be tied to and released with emotion). But it's a fire that is kept safely within the boundaries of my cooler, more conscientious self.
Hope that makes sense.
Perfect sense. Thank you for sharing.
I have a temper... it's rarely appears in front of people. Only time that it happens is when something seriously violates other people's rights.... misinterpreting something for personal gain, general brainwashing... that kind of stuff. I think the NFJs in general have this need to defend and protect innocent and ideals.
You've just described things that personally enrage me.
The fire burning analogy works well for me too. When it hits, it scares me. Although the clear thinking analysis is used while I'm angry. It's fire on the outside with a cool core.
I like the way you put this. Sometimes I see it as a "thinking fire" or sentient fire, that's not unreasonable but just as combustive as anger, regardless of mood or mindset.
I don't think I have much of a temper. I have a fairly high tolerance for inconvience, eccentricity, and stupidity and can laugh a lot of things off. But I do get angry sometimes, and it is usually because of someone being really nasty to a person I care about. It can feel quite intense. Sometimes I start shaking, and feel like I'm near tears, and that the world is a horrible place if such injustice can take place in it. The fire analogy works well for me, too.
Basically, I hate to see people being jerks to eachother.
You and me both, Helen! I'd take on 20 people to protect my sister. And I feel an urge just as strong when I see weak or maligned people suffering under some terrible weight they can't shift. Like children dying of hunger -- that sends me though the roof. My mother changes the channel before I even get a chance to see it. With me, once something has happened, it's like trying to unring a bell. You can't. I saw it. I heard it. It's already going into me. I do everything in my power to avoid unhealthy situations too, because they go into me like poison.
Some take it out with power, some manipulation, some self depreciation, some passive aggressive.. perhaps NFJs are just more prone to the explosive violence. Our shadow which would obviously be emerging since we're upset, would be an STP.. an acutely aware(sensing boosted with adrenaline), non-feeling and somewhat irrational being, yes? Definitely sounds like the violent type more than anything.
That's an extraordinary thought. THANK YOU for sharing that! I never once brought the STP shadow into my realm of thought. Maybe that's part of it. It would make sense to me. Funny -- in the times when I've finally been pushed to the point of snapping and gone over a table after someone, it's the STPs in the room who never look freaked out. My best friend was an ISTP and he'd calmly peel me off the ceiling, as if what had just happened was going to be okay and I was okay and
we were going to go quietly eat tacos, dear, until you get your claws back in and your fur laid down...
I agree with several of the things said. Usually, if someone's gotten me THAT angry, they deserve it. It takes a lot (unless I'm already frustrated with something and/or they hit a sore spot) so I give ample warning that you're pissing me off and should drop it before I explode. And it also does feel great to let that side of me show when it does to prove I'm not weak.
This is something that makes me feel helpless. When I'm being pushed beyond endurance. I feel the emotion rising in me and even if I can contain it, I know it's going to shred me unless I can get it back out. Problem is, I can't get it back out fast enough to stop physical illness from setting in. Bad mojo just JAMS in me. It's an injustice issue, no doubt. I hate being drawn into a bad thought or bad dark place because it sticks to me for days.