I generally feel fine afterwards, usually relieved. Yes I will get into another relationship rather quickly. No I will not forget my ex. The experiences we shared will be used as learning in future relationships. I have taken past experience for example the cues I give that 'hey you are getting in my space' and refine them and give them earlier. I've taken it and even become much more direct. I've also taken the information to learn exactly what I didn't want in a relationship. I generally will not have an ill will towards the person after break-up...only if they cannot 'let go' then it can get ugly after a time if avoidance isn't possible. I have ended up being friends after a time with my ex's and am genuinely happy when they find a good relationship that works for them.sakuraba said:How do you feel after a break up?
Do you jump into another one right away and forget your ex or what?
I went out with an unhealthy xNFx, type 2 or 6. She said I corresponded to her ideal and was already talking about children and marriage. She was very fearful and ambivalent. One day she wanted to commit suicide after I nearly dumped her. Then she made plans to get back with her ex behind my back. All this in the matter of two weeks. When I did dump her, she got back with her ex 1 hour later and told me she always loved him anyway but couldn't face it because he wasn't right "socially".
I thought all was well but... I have to see her often. She told me also after the breakup, one day, that she would always be attracted to me. I've had conversations to try and ease things out. She is paranoid about everything I do. If I contradict her she thinks I'm "attacking" her. She is constantly irritated by me. She's been spreading gossip. I told her I wanted to be friends but she says it's not true and that I don't like her. Whatever I do, either by polite or ignore her, it's always wrong. If I ignore her she complains to everyone I'm giving her the cold shoulder. If I am nice she complains that I don't really like her.
Man, you are opening up Pandora's Box.
Wipe yourself of her by ignoring her. Tell her bluntly you are ignoring her because it is better than having your niceties being misshapen and twisted. Walk away no matter what she might say or how she responds (or run if she goes postal). Perhaps being isolated from you will make her introspect rather than manipulate you. I feel for you; because while ignoring her seems easy and is the rational thing to do, the emotional residue of conflict is almost tangible and troubling.
I've only had one really serious breakup, and it was with someone that i had been with for 4 years, so it was quite hard on me. We had a hard time actually getting used to the break up and not doing the same things we had done everyday for 4 years, sometimes i would forget we were broken up at all, mostly because i really just didn't want it to be over. We both spent a lot of time trying to talk it out. He was an INFJ so i've experienced an NF/NF breakup and it is so very very painful. We've been broken up for almost 2 years now, but when we see each other, everything just comes rushing back, and we start bringing up all the good ol times and we just really miss each other, i still don't think i've really gotten over that break up. It took him a few months to start dating someone else, although, even she knows that he is only dating her because i wouldn't get back with him. It took me a little under a year to start dating someone else.
why the hell arent you 2 back together????????
seriously, you miss him, hes only dating another because you wouldnt get back with him....why the games?
why the hell arent you 2 back together????????
seriously, you miss him, hes only dating another because you wouldnt get back with him....why the games?
I went out with an unhealthy xNFx, type 2 or 6. She said I corresponded to her ideal and was already talking about children and marriage. She was very fearful and ambivalent. One day she wanted to commit suicide after I nearly dumped her. Then she made plans to get back with her ex behind my back. All this in the matter of two weeks. When I did dump her, she got back with her ex 1 hour later and told me she always loved him anyway but couldn't face it because he wasn't right "socially".
I thought all was well but... I have to see her often. She told me also after the breakup, one day, that she would always be attracted to me. I've had conversations to try and ease things out. She is paranoid about everything I do. If I contradict her she thinks I'm "attacking" her. She is constantly irritated by me. She's been spreading gossip. I told her I wanted to be friends but she says it's not true and that I don't like her. Whatever I do, either by polite or ignore her, it's always wrong. If I ignore her she complains to everyone I'm giving her the cold shoulder. If I am nice she complains that I don't really like her.