Millenials Need Adulting School

[ChocolateMoose123]

9/11 was a major turning point for sure. I was a year out of high school when it happened, and I still remember the striking cultural differences before and after. I remember the dominant social value among young adults before that was experience. A type of existentialism inherited from their hippie parents in which danger was simply an aside to be taken for granted. What was often mistaken for apathy in my generation was simply a pleasant willingness to just like go with it, for the sake of participating in a palpable way in all of the curious wonders and beauties of being alive. At our social core we craved the novel and the artistic and it fueled a type of spiritual hunger that I think helped move the economy on a fundamental level through curiosity innovation pursuit and celebration, even if the nuts and bolts of it were coming apart. After 9/11 that core spirit dissolved, and without that engine the vehicle of our falling-apart economy pretty much coasted to a stop.

9/11 sparked a fear that had a snowball effect on everything. An obsession with physical safety decayed into an obsession with emotional safety. I overheard a couple of teenagers talking in a restaurant about how difficult it must be for a transgendered person to experience body dysmorphia, and all I could think of while I was listening to them was... what the hell? When did teenagers start giving a fig about that kind of thing? What happened to being assholes and doing drugs and trespassing into hot tubs in the middle of the night?

This super meta-analysis of everything that just leaves little room for acting outside of checking off all the boxes on the "what-if" relativism morality list backfires more than not. Sooner or later, you will be a hypocrite or you will stall out in efforts for perfection.

Fine and good to have empathy but empathy without educated and direct experience with subject matter can form misguided notions that feel correct, but don't translate accurately. A good example are those trigger warnings. They were formed to prevent those with PTSD to avoid traumatic flashbacks. A well intentioned action but misguided due to not actually realizing how PTSD triggers work. Did those warnings help people? Maybe those with extreme sensitivities. Who knows but it wouldn't do anything for those suffering with PTSD because most don't even know what triggers them (it's why it is tied to agoraphobia, hello) and if they do, they already are great at avoiding those things.

Anyway. Yeah. Take a deep breath, be kind to people but take care of your own pressing burdens before placing anothers on your back. Even better - make sure it isn't an imagined one. I do see that as being connected to the anxiety-paralysis I stated before.

 

[Ursa]

Not to mention millennial's grew up as the Generation of Shame. They were shamed online by parents publically for likes and shares, shamed by friends at school in ways I definitely was not threatened with. It was disgusting.

Facebook was launched in 2004. Millennials were born between 1983 and 2000.

You are thinking of Generation Z. The majority of Millennials cannot blame social media for their faults and failures, because the majority of Millennials did not grow up with likes and shares. And even if they did, the second they became adults they would lose the special kid menu privilege of blaming everyone else.

One time I screwed up a pass that cost my soccer team the game. I was shamed by my coach in front of everyone. This was typical in my time, which wasn't even that long ago. I didn't want to disappoint my coach or anyone, and I didn't want to lose. I learned my lesson and got over it. I thought about it and worked hard to make certain the mistake didn't happen again. Kids these days are way too sensitive to shame. Maybe their parents coddle them too much.

I'd like to say that it's only their problem, but all of society eventually suffers when parents decide that 'compassionate' parent-to-child talks replace real consequences, and when parents decide that, because of what happened in previous generations, their children get a free pass.

To refer to the thread title, it's pathetic that 'adulting' is even a word. The verb form suggests that being an adult is something to be undertaken, a hat to wear or even something to be faked rather than a state of being. Real adults don't need to think about doing things that make them seem adult. Real adults do adult things because they are adults, and it takes them very little effort. Real adults don't do things because they have to; they do them because they want to. Because they understand a thing or two.

Real adult: "I want to pay taxes because that is the law I implicitly agree to in exchange for living here, and what a privilege it is to live in a country that champions free speech, freedom of religion, women's rights, etc.. I want to pay taxes because my taxes may go towards roads, education, federal grants to fight crime, etc. My taxes are supporting institutions which are things of beauty considering that they do not exist in other countries because they do not have democracy.

Typical Millennial I hear every day: "I shouldn't have to pay taxes because they will only go towards Donald Trump's security detail. I shouldn't have to pay taxes until healthcare is free for everyone. The law should be revised so I shouldn't have to pay for a Russian-sponsored president's security. It would be better if the rich were taxed to pay for everything so those of us with less money (read: I'm still searching for that 18th century philosophy position) didn't have to pay as much." It's me, me, me, me, me.

My mother and one of my best friend's have generalized anxiety disorder, and I won't minimize how crippling this disorder is to people. But maybe this disorder wouldn't take hold quite as much if children were raised to be tough. Maybe the best way to raise children is through the philosophy: "If the world is a dangerous place, get tough and overcome it. Get tough by experiencing defeat and learning from it."

 

[anticlimatic]

To refer to the thread title, it's pathetic that 'adulting' is even a word. The verb form suggests that being an adult is something to be undertaken, a hat to wear or even something to be faked rather than a state of being. Real adults don't need to think about doing things that make them seem adult. Real adults do adult things because they are adults, and it takes them very little effort. Real adults don't do things because they have to; they do them because they want to. Because they understand a thing or two.

Thank you for explaining why 'adulting' memes make me recoil with contempt. "I know this is supposed to be cute and relatable, but why do I want to punch this lazy cartoon character in the C shaped torso?"

 

[Bush]

The guy in the video said it best himself: it's a "modern day home economics class."

Thanks, guy, for making the point that this is actually a fairly reasonable thing to have.

 

[Bush]

But that's only with the first minute of the video.

The rest i just the "back in my day" bullshit. Your generation loved America and stood by it and were totally patriotic? Do you remember a little thing called Vietnam..? And, you know, the protests? Would you like to compare the polarization associated with that to the relative lack thereof about WWII in your parents' generation? I bet they thought your generation was just a bunch of unpatriotic lowlifes too.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I just spent a cpl hours getting my LLC set up on quickbooks. Do I get a gold star?

 

[Metamorphosis]

For nine years. I got to hear all day about free healthcare and easy access to buying homes all the while so many of my generation chose majors and degrees such as art, philosophy and journalism that would only ever result in zero income. So many of my generation thought it would be easy to just pick a profession, graduate with a degree in it and then make money and get a house. So many of my generation never questioned that, and that's THEIR problem. Because at that point, they were adults.

That's because many millennials spent their entire life growing up hearing the combination of two things:
1. Getting a degree is extremely important
2. You can do whatever you want in life as long as you put your mind to it

Honestly, it makes some sense coming from our parents because so many fewer people had degrees (and it was far far more affordable) that it actually did make a difference. Buying homes, etc. was also much more realistic of a goal. How many families now do you suspect could buy a house reasonably that consist of a married couple with only the father working a blue collar job and 2 kids? Compare that to the baby boomer's generation.

Should you question what you've been taught and learn from that? Absolutely, and that's getting better with the internet. But we also need to be real and realize that most people in high school/early college still really aren't exposed to "reality." You need to know what is important to look up before you can look it up.

 

[ceecee]

That's because many millennials spent their entire life growing up hearing the combination of two things:
1. Getting a degree is extremely important
2. You can do whatever you want in life as long as you put your mind to it

Honestly, it makes some sense coming from our parents because so many fewer people had degrees (and it was far far more affordable) that it actually did make a difference. Buying homes, etc. was also much more realistic of a goal. How many families now do you suspect could buy a house reasonably that consist of a married couple with only the father working a blue collar job and 2 kids? Compare that to the baby boomer's generation.

Should you question what you've been taught and learn from that? Absolutely, and that's getting better with the internet. But we also need to be real and realize that most people in high school/early college still really aren't exposed to "reality." You need to know what is important to look up before you can look it up.

What's most difficult to believe is that this country got fucked over by Wall Street and financial institutions that broke the law, openly and blatantly (read The Big Short if anyone questions this claim). I have yet to hear anyone lay the blame at their feet or the administration that allowed it to happen and the administration that never held them accountable. All I ever heard is bitching about the bailouts - not the entities that caused them. Instead, they blame the youngest people for not being able to fight these behemoths on their own and instead attack their values.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

An approximate birthdate range of the generations:

G.I. Generation: 1900 to 1920s (end date varies depending on which researcher or historian you ask). These were the folks who came of age during the depression and World War II.
Silent Generation: mid-1920s to mid-1940s. Essentially the parents of the hippies, AKA the generation that would have produced most members of Nixon's "silent majority." Most of these people were too young to serve in WWII yet they are sometimes called the WWII generation as they were more likely to remember that period with patriotism and nostalgia.
Boomers: early-mid 1940s to early 1960s (Personally I prefer 1961 as the cutoff). Probably the first generation to feel jaded en masse about the idea of patriotism and concepts like "the greater good." Many hippies and later yuppies are created from this stock.
Sub category: Generation Jones: Late 1950s to early 1960s: Essentially Boomers too young to enjoy the Summer of Love, yet still somewhat defined by the values of the Boomer Generation (though bordering more on the cynicism of the Xers). Overlaps with Generation X. The people who said "fuck hippies and pot" and instead made Disco (or aarena rock like Boston and Journey, take your pick) and Cocaine chic but were just a tad old to really enjoy Grunge and Ecstasy. Obama is a notable member.
Generation X: early 1960s to late 1970s/early 1980s
Sub category: Cold Y Generation: Late 1970s/early 1980s. Kids old enough to have a memory of the cold war and the constant, looming threat of nuclear holocaust, but young enough to still appreciate shows like Ducktales and Thundercats that their older GenX siblings would consider lame because they were too busy listening to Black Flag and Husker Du. Not quite X, but not quite Millennial, as they still have a touch of that GenX apathy. Grew up with analog and digital technology playing an equally influential part. Last kids to buy albums on cassette tape en masse, probably first kids to buy CDs en masse.
Millennials: early 1980s to early 2000s (I think 2001 is a good cutoff point). The oldest of this lot are likely to be the last generation to have any memory of the pre-internet age. They didn't look up video game cheat codes online, in their day they beat them the good, old fashioned way with elbow grease and maybe borrowing their friend's Nintendo Power magazines for the walkthroughs. The youngest millennials now worship Kurt Cobain the way younger X'ers and older millennial kids worshipped Jim Morrison.
Generation Z? iGeneration?: circa 2001 to 2020? First generation that will have no firsthand recollection of 9/11. They will think it's weird to not be glued to a smartphone or tablet. "Why do my grandparents call them videos when we rent movies on demand." "What are these 'vinyls' you speak of?" "Who the hell is Mister Wizard?"

Each previous generation will be default-assigned the role of admonishing the next generation with longwinded rants usually beginning with the words: "In my day"

Example: "In my day, we didn't illegally download songs, we taped them from the radio"

 

[-Outsider-]

Not being a a Millennial yourself, you didn't have to attend university with my generation. For nine years. I got to hear all day about free healthcare and easy access to buying homes all the while so many of my generation chose majors and degrees such as art, philosophy and journalism that would only ever result in zero income.

Newsflash: not every millenial is out there getting an art degree. STEM field degrees are not safe from being completely worthless, depending on the particular degree.

So many of my generation thought it would be easy to just pick a profession, graduate with a degree in it and then make money and get a house. So many of my generation never questioned that, and that's THEIR problem. Because at that point, they were adults.

I was not legally an adult when I began college, and most Americans aren't. Why the hell were we supposed to question anything when the generation before us did just fine?

I get that part of it is on us for fucking up and going to college, but cultural expectations are not to be taken lightly. If EVERYONE tells you that going to college is a way to better your life, why would anyone question that? It's not just our parents that said that, but our high school teachers, guidance counselors, extended family members, university professors, etc. EVERYONE we were supposed to look up to had the same answer. So why is it so weird to believe them? Why can't I place at least the tiniest amount of blame on the disgustingly greedy system that is higher education in the United States?

Add can you really condemn this generation for being just the slightest bit bitter about it all?

I am not perfect and I'm not about to sit here and pretend that my generation is perfect. But it is not worse than those that came before us and not better than others either. We are different and just don't share the same problems that people like my parents did growing up. Some things have improved and some things have gotten worse.

 

[anticlimatic]

If EVERYONE tells you that going to college is a way to better your life, why would anyone question that? It's not just our parents that said that, but our high school teachers, guidance counselors, extended family members, university professors, etc. EVERYONE we were supposed to look up to had the same answer.

Good time to be a Ti-dom.

 

[Coriolis]

I was not legally an adult when I began college, and most Americans aren't. Why the hell were we supposed to question anything when the generation before us did just fine?

So many assumptions here. First of all, the generation before you (presumably you mean before Millennials) didn't do just fine, or at least significant segments of them did not. Second, part of the problem is that we are too hung up on legal adulthood. Questions of legality and procedure are a big part of what limit opportunities for adolescents to learn to take on adult responsibility. We force them to stay children until that magic day they turn 18. Sure, families can teach valuable skills during that time and many do, but the impediments are there and if anything just getting worse.

I get that part of it is on us for fucking up and going to college, but cultural expectations are not to be taken lightly. If EVERYONE tells you that going to college is a way to better your life, why would anyone question that? It's not just our parents that said that, but our high school teachers, guidance counselors, extended family members, university professors, etc. EVERYONE we were supposed to look up to had the same answer. So why is it so weird to believe them? Why can't I place at least the tiniest amount of blame on the disgustingly greedy system that is higher education in the United States?

Because often "everyone" is making stupid choices and setting a bad example. Making good choices is not a popularity contest. One of the greatest adult responsibilities is exactly that: learning to make good choices. To get the necessary information, consider likely consequences of actions, and above all, know what you want to begin with, and why. Yes, alot of that advice is bad. Not everyone should go to college. No one should need college to have a good income and a good life. Other opportunities like skilled trades, military service, etc. are undervalued and not encouraged.

 

[Ursa]

That's because many millennials spent their entire life growing up hearing the combination of two things:
1. Getting a degree is extremely important
2. You can do whatever you want in life as long as you put your mind to it

Honestly, it makes some sense coming from our parents because so many fewer people had degrees (and it was far far more affordable) that it actually did make a difference. Buying homes, etc. was also much more realistic of a goal. How many families now do you suspect could buy a house reasonably that consist of a married couple with only the father working a blue collar job and 2 kids? Compare that to the baby boomer's generation.

Should you question what you've been taught and learn from that? Absolutely, and that's getting better with the internet. But we also need to be real and realize that most people in high school/early college still really aren't exposed to "reality." You need to know what is important to look up before you can look it up.

Arguably university students are usually not exposed to reality either and therefore are blameless.

I don't buy the blameless part, and I like to think that at least by your sophomore year you are researching and actually listening to your advisors about what's viable. Four years ago, I was a history major, and every single professor I talked to was blunt with me about my job prospects: unless someone in that narrow field died, I would not get a job. Like most university students in the U.S., I had access to a career counselor at a career center, and ample opportunities at career fairs.

At what point do we decide that people are responsible for looking basic stuff up, job shadowing, asking relevant questions and following advice? 16 years old? 18? 21?

 

[Cellmold]

Good time to be a Ti-dom.

 

[Ursa]

What's most difficult to believe is that this country got fucked over by Wall Street and financial institutions that broke the law, openly and blatantly (read The Big Short if anyone questions this claim). I have yet to hear anyone lay the blame at their feet or the administration that allowed it to happen and the administration that never held them accountable. All I ever heard is bitching about the bailouts - not the entities that caused them. Instead, they blame the youngest people for not being able to fight these behemoths on their own and instead attack their values.

As a conservative, the most amount of bitching from fellow conservatives I hear is related to why the Obama administration did not jail those behind the sub-prime mortgage crisis and the subsequent crash. The bailouts are definitely up there, but in my experience not as much as the prosecution and jail issue. I offer up any comment section on Breitbart on this matter as evidence.

Either way, it's neither here nor there. Blaming Baby Boomers isn't going to solve the problems we have now. If blaming Millennial values means calling that out, then I'm fine with that, because most Millennials I know do just that. Blame an older person and then use revenge as a justification for living off the state. Blame society and excuse yourself for being a real pill for everyone else to deal with. Feel entitled to not only jobs but careers because someone told me and I didn't think to research reality. Maybe some Millennial values are legitimately full of shit, regardless of who is to blame.

 

[Ursa]

Newsflash: not every millenial is out there getting an art degree. STEM field degrees are not safe from being completely worthless, depending on the particular degree.

I never said that every Millennial is out there getting an art degree. I certainly am not. What's problematic is making judgements about Millennials without being among them (one's own children do not count because that invites bias).

I am also not condemning our generation for being bitter about what we have inherited. What we have inherited is a mess. What I condemn this generation for is a fruitless blame game and for being uncritical. Yes, I do expect adult citizens of this country to question what they have been told. Especially adult citizens who attend university, because it means they were selected based on achievements, grades and intellect. Why is doing the research on your dream profession so hard?! Especially if you are *determined* enough to strive for a degree pertinent to that profession?!

 

[Korvinagor]

I don't think anybody knows how to be an adult, honestly. We're all kind of stumbling along.

It just sort of sneaks up on you, I suppose, as you begin to do more things.

 

[Jaq]

Millenials may need adulting school, but everyone needs some common decency skills. As in the desire to keep a look of being an "Adult" we've neglected the common respect that each generation should be giving to the ones before it, and the ones after it. Just saying, because that is what it looks like to me.

 

[ceecee]

Millenials may need adulting school, but everyone needs some common decency skills. As in the desire to keep a look of being an "Adult" we've neglected the common respect that each generation should be giving to the ones before it, and the ones after it. Just saying, because that is what it looks like to me.

Agreed. Now lying is just a "difference of opinion" and courtesy is called "political correctness". As infuriating at this is at the moment, it has no longevity.

 

[Jaq]

Agreed. Now lying is just a "difference of opinion" and courtesy is called "political correctness". As infuriating at this is at the moment, it has no longevity.

It seems like the only thing you can do these days is keep a little decency in your corner of the world. Because all you ever hear about in the news are tragedies. It's a shame, it truly is.