Paronomasia
New member
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2015
- Messages
- 5
Hello. I'm new here, but have no idea how to properly describe myself without some form of focal point, so I'm making a thread to see what everyone thinks my types are instead. This way I have a direction for my sharing, as well.
I've studied the functions a bit, as well as parts of Enneagram, but I will refrain from comment and simply answer the questions. I am writing this from a phone, so I may be a bit more concise than usual. With that said, my online personae differ fairly greatly from my offline ones, especially where eloquence is concerned.
Please also bear in mind that I am recovering from mental illness and am on a meandering journey through self-awareness.
Also, writing is a large part of my life. I do believe I considered things in the past with that in mind, but my creative writing mind is far more active and spontaneous than the one that deals with say, external problems or people. Or anything else really. At least, that’s how I’m viewing it at the moment.
I will answer a couple different questionnaires so there is a surfeit of information to be analyzed.
Socionics
PerC questionnaire
Thank you in advance for answers!
I should probably go make an introductory post.
I've studied the functions a bit, as well as parts of Enneagram, but I will refrain from comment and simply answer the questions. I am writing this from a phone, so I may be a bit more concise than usual. With that said, my online personae differ fairly greatly from my offline ones, especially where eloquence is concerned.
Please also bear in mind that I am recovering from mental illness and am on a meandering journey through self-awareness.
Also, writing is a large part of my life. I do believe I considered things in the past with that in mind, but my creative writing mind is far more active and spontaneous than the one that deals with say, external problems or people. Or anything else really. At least, that’s how I’m viewing it at the moment.
I will answer a couple different questionnaires so there is a surfeit of information to be analyzed.
Socionics
Personal concepts
1. What is beauty?
Do we want my personal view, or?
As a concept, it is and always will be subjective. For myself… I can't really put what I see as in words, because it does slightly vary. Much of the time I use the word to refer to aesthetically pleasing things, but other times I could refer to things like that video of Santa doing sign language, or the conversation between father and son, where the former told the latter that the flowers put out for those that died in Paris would also protect them (if I recall correctly). I'm a sucker for shit like that. Don't tell anyone.
Things like that, things I find beautiful but cannot readily explain why or how for the life of me, are my concept of it. As such, I am finding it difficult putting something like beauty into words.
What is love?
-resists Haddaway joke-
It's… lord almighty. I'm tempted to go into Storge and the like just to be an ass. I don't know where to start, or if I believe my view of love can be properly put into words.
I can say that my flavor of “relationship goals†is being able to speak to someone without speaking, to talk of stupid, ‘pointless’ things for hours, to even be in that person's (or people's) presence in silence and not need to say anything to express. If a couple can do that, I'd call it a kind of love I'd actually be envious of, if only because it resides in my fantasies and I've never seen it.
Questions like these have so many answers that I'm left palming blindly for the one that will express what I'm thinking.
2. What are your most important values?
Time to rip off a list from Google to help.
What I could be bothered to write down were: love, honesty, humor, loyalty, wisdom, reason, knowledge, respect, compassion, creativity, peace, independence, success, achievement, responsibility.
I'm sure I could get more.
But that is how I act, and that list includes bits I am trying to be more conscientious of (like independence, success, and achievement). I can be extremely ambitious and have grandiose dreams, but have a hard time seeing them through. I have a sharp mind and am fiercely independent when it comes to the deeper parts of my life, but due to events in said life, I’m codependent and it is a long, harrowing battle to pull that apart. I will always consider other people and try to do the least harm, but I’m trying to even out how much I consider myself as well.
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I am an agnostic atheist, so I do not prescribe to anything organized, but I have played around with Buddhism quite a bit, and that's because of my gut and how much it resonates (in values and the beliefs) every time I read more about it.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I can't stop war, but I wish it wouldn't happen. I'm sure there are many ways we could resolve conflicts without it, but humanity is so inclined to resort to force to solve disputes that we tend to forget or ignore it… and turn the other parties into the Other in order to justify destroying them. It's stupid and I'm pissed off thinking about the very lengths people will go to to come out on top.
Power is being able to influence or instigate change. There are other definitions of power, but I assume this is the sort of answer expected. Power is a motivator and a tool. Power can be attained and revoked. Perhaps everyone has their own innate power in their own ways. Power can be misused, although what ‘misused’ means is different for everyone.
Interests
5. What have you had long conversations about?
Music, characters, psychology, philosophy, and things like morality. I LOVE getting to the causes of people's actions and could think about it for ages. Why did they do that? What might have influenced their decision? What can I identify here? How would I act on that situation? But mostly the first, why the hell did they do that?
I could understand in an instinctual or even intellectual way why someone does things, but the dry reasons are often unsatisfactory. I want that deep nugget that informs not just what I am studying, but much of their mannerisms, behaviors, thoughts, etc. I must know how they tick. I will burrow into their sulci and make a nest.
What are your interests? Why?
See above lmao. I also like drawing, writing, reading, etc. Creative endeavors that allow me to exercise my imagination or give it form.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Depends upon what parts. I loved anatomy in high school and still do, but mostly for the purposes of “look what the human body can do, isn't that fucking cool?†I do have some interest in health things related to say, fitness. I like learning ways to move my body because it provides another outlet when I push myself, which is important because I bottle things up. Having my body moving in any way also helps bring my attention out of my mind, which is advantageous. . .I just have a hard time doing it myself. I would love to do martial arts (and that can be alone), but when it comes to sports, I’d rather have jovial team sports. People that are competitive, but also have good sportsmanship.
That had almost nothing to do with health/medicine.
I’ve considered becoming a nurse before, but dissuaded myself because of the loss, how underappreciated nurses are, and the fact that it is not something I can see myself doing for the rest of my life.
7. What do you think of daily chores?
So-so. I'm making them a habit now, but I hate cleaning up after four slobs and that really hampers my enjoyment. Enjoyment is derived not in cleaning per se, but in the physical aspects of it. Seriously, physical activity of many kinds brings my head. . .out of my head, but I’m not automatically inclined to run about. My default is in my head and I need to force myself out or be coaxed.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I just finished Go Set a Watchman. That was great.
I like cathartic things, and media that explores existential or psychological themes. Psycho-Pass. That isn’t a film. lol. I liked Memoirs of a Geisha, Chronicles of Narnia, Horns, the list goes on. I've read Harry Potter all the way through multiple times and rather enjoy ASoIF—what I've read of it anyway.
Mostly fantasy. There are some other genres I enjoy, but they are vastly overshadowed by multiple flavors of fantasy, and I rarely engage in non-fiction, unless it’s something like a memoir (not including Memoirs of a Geisha here, since I know that was embellished). Like. . .I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. On Writing (Stephen King) was also nice. I don’t like prose that is too dry or cannot capture my attention, though outside of fantasy I cannot explain the specifics of what could ‘catch’ me. It varies.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I tend to over-regulate my emotions so I can't give a clear answer here. Usually overloads of emotion, really sad fiction, horrendously cute things. Sometimes I see something so cute, I spring to tears. Don't tell anyone.
Smile, everything. I smile at nothing. Genuinely… others’ happiness. Their joy is contagious and I live vicariously through it, most of the time. But usually I just smile because I don’t want to be asked questions if I stopped, and I don’t want to dampen people’s mood by my own. So I smile.
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
The latter, I don't know. With people that have shared experiences, I suppose. Otherwise, I feel quite. . .disconnected.
The former, when making drawing or writing, playing sports, or basking in a silent natural environment, like the creek down the road. Then my mind wanders a bit, but I’m taking in the smell of the air, the flow of the water, the rustling of the leaves. A respite from people.
Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
People tend to highlight my tendency to beat myself up and be relentless on myself where I'd be fantastic to others. I agree, and add that I tend to project my expectations of myself into them, so when I feel like I've failed them, I go into instant negativity. This is only a semi-recent realization, as well. I'm getting better with it.
What both I and other people also notice is my tendency to overlook everything positive about myself. Again, mental illness. Work in progress.
I need to see a thing outside of myself (regarding myself) before I believe it. It needs to slap me in the face like an epiphany that's been sitting under my nose, waiting for me to notice. I’ve noted that I only notice how ‘bright’ I am, or what creative or good things I’ve done when I actually see the end product. Then it dawns on me that I did that, and that thing required work, and in order to get that result, a person would ideally be X and Y, and if I finished it. . .I must be X and/or Y. It comes up in therapy a lot, lol.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I'm emotionally strong, and have godly empathy and theory of mind. I'm way too patient. Others have called me bright and clear-minded and they enjoy hearing my opinions because I'm clear about my thoughts and reasoning. I'm apparently better at communicating than I think, as well. It just rarely gets practice and I’m not often inclined to do so.
I am very much a self-starter. That hit me when someone else pointed out all the things I had been doing for myself and others without needing any guidance, and upon reflecting on it, it’s true. Motivation is spotty and I do need assurance from outside for things to stick, but if I want something, I find a way to do or get it. I make detailed plans in my head and go over them ad infinitum until I’m certain I’ve reached optimum capacity for success. This is especially apparent in writing, but as with everything else, I’m having trouble starting and developing those results. It’s all clear in my head, but putting it out is a problem.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
Many things regarding self-esteem and codependency. I think solving these issues will bring a marked improvement to everything else. Of course, where I can’t get tips from a therapist, I do research and employ self-help. It’s hit-or-miss because I’ve found that, at least in this stage of my recovery, I rely a lot on affirmations, ones that I have a hard time synthesizing for myself. I’m looking to improve my own positive affirmations, but again, I can tell myself multiple times what a great thing I did or what an awesome human being I am, and it won’t stick until either a) I see proof of it, or b) someone reveals it to me and gives me examples supporting it.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Lack of progress. If I feel I'm moving in place or standing still, I start losing my damn mind about all of my worries on top of that. I usually just need to have a new experience or gain progress in something/anything, or distract myself to get out.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I pretty much hate people that think everyone's business is their business. Otherwise, pretty much everyone is fair game. I can walk a mile in almost everyone’s shoes and try hard not to judge immediately, but first impressions tend to last. . .and I always judge people by the last encounter I had with them. Example: there’s someone in my family’s life that is trying to stick their foot in places where it doesn’t belong and state decrees of how things should be, and it annoys the ever living shit out of me. I’ve leveled out and reasoned that they have the best intents, but it still stands that whenever I heard about them coming to visit, I’m absolutely ecstatic about what they’ll have to say about how we should be living our lives. /s
That’s probably a bad thing.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
See above about love for the latter question. For the former, eh. I'm asexual, and for romance, sounds great in my head but not so much otherwise. Of course, I’ve never had proper ‘experience’ with it, but I’m also not hankering for it, either. I am happy I don’t have another possible drama-producing layer to my life.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
No. I am not in the right mental state to even think about how I would handle a child. I reject this question lol.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Depends on what it is. If it's horrible, I'd probably be pretty impassive on the outside, but totally offended on the inside. And then, if we did not reconcile, I might take a while shedding that thing away and the next time I saw them, the most recent encounter would stick. I’m getting a little better with reasoning through this over time, but I still have a kneejerk of ‘the last time I saw this person, it went bad/good, so it might/probably will be bad/good this time, too.†Anxiety probably exacerbates this.
I've talked to a lot of people that have differing beliefs and have only ever reacted strongly to those who have a serious problem with a group of people, with reasoning that I see as illogical. Examples being the more extreme political activists, moreover the ones that have a very strong problem with changing the system of this shitty society to accommodate people they think already have the lot in life. Anti-gay rights, anti-transgender rights, anti-gender equality (especially with regard to gender roles and their ilk, for me), anti-get the fuck out of other people’s lives, etc.
tl;dr people that don’t have respect for people who don’t live in the exact same way as they do, and therein get defensive and angry because of it. . .people who don’t stay in their own lane.
Funny part is that I get more up in arms about these things happening to other people over myself. There are parts of this related to being mentally ill, but my instinct is magnified when I see other people being mistreated. I’m gaining more self-respect and don’t like being mistreated either, but I’m doubly livid when I see other people being shit on.
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
Uhh. Many things, including society, are more than the sum of their parts. I think that society and its people inform each other consistently, since people created the norms and they encourage (or change) said norms.
I don't know what exactly I'm getting at here; it's a nebulous concept that I would need more time to unravel.
I consider too much narcissism a problem in my society as well. Not just individuality or self-reliance, but narcissism.
I also consider the black-and-white thinking (lol irony) that media feeds to people (and that they espouse and allow to fester and continue growing) is harmful. I don’t want everyone to be this amorphous blob with no variance at all, but a rainbow gradient that actually takes into consideration everyone’s place in their society, that they are just as important as the majority, etc. Nothing is as it seems. My country’s government and society need a serious overhaul in many places. It’s circlejerking itself into oblivion.
I want to live on the moon.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't think there's a specific process. If I think them trustworthy and have known them a while, I consider calling them friends. I am extremely discreet in how I use that term, however.
Behavior depends on level of trust. Most everyone gets this happy person they would never expect to be serious, but a select few get to know about my problems. It's pretty jovial and light if I'm in the right environment. Pretty normal stuff imo.
21. How do you behave around strangers?
Polite and distant usually, unless they spark a reason for more attention (a shared interest, perhaps). I am interested normally, but I keep my distance for my own purposes.
1. What is beauty?
Do we want my personal view, or?
As a concept, it is and always will be subjective. For myself… I can't really put what I see as in words, because it does slightly vary. Much of the time I use the word to refer to aesthetically pleasing things, but other times I could refer to things like that video of Santa doing sign language, or the conversation between father and son, where the former told the latter that the flowers put out for those that died in Paris would also protect them (if I recall correctly). I'm a sucker for shit like that. Don't tell anyone.
Things like that, things I find beautiful but cannot readily explain why or how for the life of me, are my concept of it. As such, I am finding it difficult putting something like beauty into words.
What is love?
-resists Haddaway joke-
It's… lord almighty. I'm tempted to go into Storge and the like just to be an ass. I don't know where to start, or if I believe my view of love can be properly put into words.
I can say that my flavor of “relationship goals†is being able to speak to someone without speaking, to talk of stupid, ‘pointless’ things for hours, to even be in that person's (or people's) presence in silence and not need to say anything to express. If a couple can do that, I'd call it a kind of love I'd actually be envious of, if only because it resides in my fantasies and I've never seen it.
Questions like these have so many answers that I'm left palming blindly for the one that will express what I'm thinking.
2. What are your most important values?
Time to rip off a list from Google to help.
What I could be bothered to write down were: love, honesty, humor, loyalty, wisdom, reason, knowledge, respect, compassion, creativity, peace, independence, success, achievement, responsibility.
I'm sure I could get more.
But that is how I act, and that list includes bits I am trying to be more conscientious of (like independence, success, and achievement). I can be extremely ambitious and have grandiose dreams, but have a hard time seeing them through. I have a sharp mind and am fiercely independent when it comes to the deeper parts of my life, but due to events in said life, I’m codependent and it is a long, harrowing battle to pull that apart. I will always consider other people and try to do the least harm, but I’m trying to even out how much I consider myself as well.
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I am an agnostic atheist, so I do not prescribe to anything organized, but I have played around with Buddhism quite a bit, and that's because of my gut and how much it resonates (in values and the beliefs) every time I read more about it.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I can't stop war, but I wish it wouldn't happen. I'm sure there are many ways we could resolve conflicts without it, but humanity is so inclined to resort to force to solve disputes that we tend to forget or ignore it… and turn the other parties into the Other in order to justify destroying them. It's stupid and I'm pissed off thinking about the very lengths people will go to to come out on top.
Power is being able to influence or instigate change. There are other definitions of power, but I assume this is the sort of answer expected. Power is a motivator and a tool. Power can be attained and revoked. Perhaps everyone has their own innate power in their own ways. Power can be misused, although what ‘misused’ means is different for everyone.
Interests
5. What have you had long conversations about?
Music, characters, psychology, philosophy, and things like morality. I LOVE getting to the causes of people's actions and could think about it for ages. Why did they do that? What might have influenced their decision? What can I identify here? How would I act on that situation? But mostly the first, why the hell did they do that?
I could understand in an instinctual or even intellectual way why someone does things, but the dry reasons are often unsatisfactory. I want that deep nugget that informs not just what I am studying, but much of their mannerisms, behaviors, thoughts, etc. I must know how they tick. I will burrow into their sulci and make a nest.
What are your interests? Why?
See above lmao. I also like drawing, writing, reading, etc. Creative endeavors that allow me to exercise my imagination or give it form.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Depends upon what parts. I loved anatomy in high school and still do, but mostly for the purposes of “look what the human body can do, isn't that fucking cool?†I do have some interest in health things related to say, fitness. I like learning ways to move my body because it provides another outlet when I push myself, which is important because I bottle things up. Having my body moving in any way also helps bring my attention out of my mind, which is advantageous. . .I just have a hard time doing it myself. I would love to do martial arts (and that can be alone), but when it comes to sports, I’d rather have jovial team sports. People that are competitive, but also have good sportsmanship.
That had almost nothing to do with health/medicine.
I’ve considered becoming a nurse before, but dissuaded myself because of the loss, how underappreciated nurses are, and the fact that it is not something I can see myself doing for the rest of my life.
7. What do you think of daily chores?
So-so. I'm making them a habit now, but I hate cleaning up after four slobs and that really hampers my enjoyment. Enjoyment is derived not in cleaning per se, but in the physical aspects of it. Seriously, physical activity of many kinds brings my head. . .out of my head, but I’m not automatically inclined to run about. My default is in my head and I need to force myself out or be coaxed.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I just finished Go Set a Watchman. That was great.
I like cathartic things, and media that explores existential or psychological themes. Psycho-Pass. That isn’t a film. lol. I liked Memoirs of a Geisha, Chronicles of Narnia, Horns, the list goes on. I've read Harry Potter all the way through multiple times and rather enjoy ASoIF—what I've read of it anyway.
Mostly fantasy. There are some other genres I enjoy, but they are vastly overshadowed by multiple flavors of fantasy, and I rarely engage in non-fiction, unless it’s something like a memoir (not including Memoirs of a Geisha here, since I know that was embellished). Like. . .I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. On Writing (Stephen King) was also nice. I don’t like prose that is too dry or cannot capture my attention, though outside of fantasy I cannot explain the specifics of what could ‘catch’ me. It varies.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I tend to over-regulate my emotions so I can't give a clear answer here. Usually overloads of emotion, really sad fiction, horrendously cute things. Sometimes I see something so cute, I spring to tears. Don't tell anyone.
Smile, everything. I smile at nothing. Genuinely… others’ happiness. Their joy is contagious and I live vicariously through it, most of the time. But usually I just smile because I don’t want to be asked questions if I stopped, and I don’t want to dampen people’s mood by my own. So I smile.
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
The latter, I don't know. With people that have shared experiences, I suppose. Otherwise, I feel quite. . .disconnected.
The former, when making drawing or writing, playing sports, or basking in a silent natural environment, like the creek down the road. Then my mind wanders a bit, but I’m taking in the smell of the air, the flow of the water, the rustling of the leaves. A respite from people.
Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
People tend to highlight my tendency to beat myself up and be relentless on myself where I'd be fantastic to others. I agree, and add that I tend to project my expectations of myself into them, so when I feel like I've failed them, I go into instant negativity. This is only a semi-recent realization, as well. I'm getting better with it.
What both I and other people also notice is my tendency to overlook everything positive about myself. Again, mental illness. Work in progress.
I need to see a thing outside of myself (regarding myself) before I believe it. It needs to slap me in the face like an epiphany that's been sitting under my nose, waiting for me to notice. I’ve noted that I only notice how ‘bright’ I am, or what creative or good things I’ve done when I actually see the end product. Then it dawns on me that I did that, and that thing required work, and in order to get that result, a person would ideally be X and Y, and if I finished it. . .I must be X and/or Y. It comes up in therapy a lot, lol.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I'm emotionally strong, and have godly empathy and theory of mind. I'm way too patient. Others have called me bright and clear-minded and they enjoy hearing my opinions because I'm clear about my thoughts and reasoning. I'm apparently better at communicating than I think, as well. It just rarely gets practice and I’m not often inclined to do so.
I am very much a self-starter. That hit me when someone else pointed out all the things I had been doing for myself and others without needing any guidance, and upon reflecting on it, it’s true. Motivation is spotty and I do need assurance from outside for things to stick, but if I want something, I find a way to do or get it. I make detailed plans in my head and go over them ad infinitum until I’m certain I’ve reached optimum capacity for success. This is especially apparent in writing, but as with everything else, I’m having trouble starting and developing those results. It’s all clear in my head, but putting it out is a problem.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
Many things regarding self-esteem and codependency. I think solving these issues will bring a marked improvement to everything else. Of course, where I can’t get tips from a therapist, I do research and employ self-help. It’s hit-or-miss because I’ve found that, at least in this stage of my recovery, I rely a lot on affirmations, ones that I have a hard time synthesizing for myself. I’m looking to improve my own positive affirmations, but again, I can tell myself multiple times what a great thing I did or what an awesome human being I am, and it won’t stick until either a) I see proof of it, or b) someone reveals it to me and gives me examples supporting it.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Lack of progress. If I feel I'm moving in place or standing still, I start losing my damn mind about all of my worries on top of that. I usually just need to have a new experience or gain progress in something/anything, or distract myself to get out.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I pretty much hate people that think everyone's business is their business. Otherwise, pretty much everyone is fair game. I can walk a mile in almost everyone’s shoes and try hard not to judge immediately, but first impressions tend to last. . .and I always judge people by the last encounter I had with them. Example: there’s someone in my family’s life that is trying to stick their foot in places where it doesn’t belong and state decrees of how things should be, and it annoys the ever living shit out of me. I’ve leveled out and reasoned that they have the best intents, but it still stands that whenever I heard about them coming to visit, I’m absolutely ecstatic about what they’ll have to say about how we should be living our lives. /s
That’s probably a bad thing.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
See above about love for the latter question. For the former, eh. I'm asexual, and for romance, sounds great in my head but not so much otherwise. Of course, I’ve never had proper ‘experience’ with it, but I’m also not hankering for it, either. I am happy I don’t have another possible drama-producing layer to my life.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
No. I am not in the right mental state to even think about how I would handle a child. I reject this question lol.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Depends on what it is. If it's horrible, I'd probably be pretty impassive on the outside, but totally offended on the inside. And then, if we did not reconcile, I might take a while shedding that thing away and the next time I saw them, the most recent encounter would stick. I’m getting a little better with reasoning through this over time, but I still have a kneejerk of ‘the last time I saw this person, it went bad/good, so it might/probably will be bad/good this time, too.†Anxiety probably exacerbates this.
I've talked to a lot of people that have differing beliefs and have only ever reacted strongly to those who have a serious problem with a group of people, with reasoning that I see as illogical. Examples being the more extreme political activists, moreover the ones that have a very strong problem with changing the system of this shitty society to accommodate people they think already have the lot in life. Anti-gay rights, anti-transgender rights, anti-gender equality (especially with regard to gender roles and their ilk, for me), anti-get the fuck out of other people’s lives, etc.
tl;dr people that don’t have respect for people who don’t live in the exact same way as they do, and therein get defensive and angry because of it. . .people who don’t stay in their own lane.
Funny part is that I get more up in arms about these things happening to other people over myself. There are parts of this related to being mentally ill, but my instinct is magnified when I see other people being mistreated. I’m gaining more self-respect and don’t like being mistreated either, but I’m doubly livid when I see other people being shit on.
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
Uhh. Many things, including society, are more than the sum of their parts. I think that society and its people inform each other consistently, since people created the norms and they encourage (or change) said norms.
I don't know what exactly I'm getting at here; it's a nebulous concept that I would need more time to unravel.
I consider too much narcissism a problem in my society as well. Not just individuality or self-reliance, but narcissism.
I also consider the black-and-white thinking (lol irony) that media feeds to people (and that they espouse and allow to fester and continue growing) is harmful. I don’t want everyone to be this amorphous blob with no variance at all, but a rainbow gradient that actually takes into consideration everyone’s place in their society, that they are just as important as the majority, etc. Nothing is as it seems. My country’s government and society need a serious overhaul in many places. It’s circlejerking itself into oblivion.
I want to live on the moon.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't think there's a specific process. If I think them trustworthy and have known them a while, I consider calling them friends. I am extremely discreet in how I use that term, however.
Behavior depends on level of trust. Most everyone gets this happy person they would never expect to be serious, but a select few get to know about my problems. It's pretty jovial and light if I'm in the right environment. Pretty normal stuff imo.
21. How do you behave around strangers?
Polite and distant usually, unless they spark a reason for more attention (a shared interest, perhaps). I am interested normally, but I keep my distance for my own purposes.
PerC questionnaire
1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
No comment
2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
Cohesion. Peace. Knowledge. Freedom.
They're all things I think I still lack in life.
3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
I don't know. Off the top of my head, when I can prove I know something. Trivia games and sports are good here.
4) What makes you feel inferior?
Not knowing things that I think should be obvious.
5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
Depends on the decision. If it involves people, I'll always try to take a dynamic approach that results in the least harm. If it's just me, I'll choose the choice that is easiest, most expedient, or also results in the least harm… but I tend to overanalyze everything, so actually coming to an important decision itself takes time. But I always make sure to consider people where they’re involved. I cannot fathom making a decision that involves other people without thinking of and including those people. I rarely need to bounce my plans or decisions on other people, but when I do, I seek people I think have some authority or knowledge in what I’m stuck on.
6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis?
The result and getting to the best version of that result in the most efficient way. Also doing it in a manner that doesn’t completely burn me out, though historically I have had problems with overcommitting.
Do you like to have control of the outcome?
Yes, because I don't usually think I can trust other people to do it as well, or to take their brunt of the work. Of course, I've only dealt with children in groups, but I'm not all that inclined to work with groups on projects anyway.
Alone, it’s clear I’d want to control the outcome. When it comes to those (like projects I did in school, as a random example), I’d take what is expected (or what goal I’ve created), envision what the end might look like for that item (or a few, and narrow down which one I like or is most appropriate), and work to meet that. It might not always come out exactly as I envisioned it, but whatever is different, I probably paid painstaking attention to lol.
7) Describe a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
Define “funâ€. It was probably writing or art or the rare sport (those times stick out, because others’ highs are like an echo chamber for me). Or music.
8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you?
Finding all the information I can on that thing, sorting through and taking it all in, rinse and repeat. Also, practice. If it's something I think I need to experience myself to learn, I'll want to do that. I also like seeing visual examples of what I’m learning (if such a thing applies).
9) How organized do you think of yourself as?
Comfortable chaos. I have the capability to be organized, it just doesn't work out well. Mentally, I can organize information pretty well, but I make sure to write down the important stuff, because if it isn't relevant to that moment, I'm likely to forget it.
10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
Both, and in that order, over and over until I'm satisfied.
I'm never satisfied.
11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
The former, without the group part. People don’t need to belong to a given group if they don’t want to or it isn’t necessary. I want the latter but it doesn't work out when people actually come into the picture. I am automatically tuned, unfortunately, to shifting gears to what that person or people respond to best based on my experience with them or what I read at the time.
12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
Think before speaking, one on one.
13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
Look before you leap; actions speak WAY louder than words because it's so easy to lie… but it's also easy to slip up. I’ve known a lot of duplicitous people, so I’ve learned to rely on what they don’t say and how they act for more accurate answers. If it aligns, they check out. If not, I know they’re lying, and it doesn’t take a long time to figure this out.
14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
Watch the show lol. Depends on what the night out is. I highly doubt I would be comfortable in any place with a high volume of people. I walk into a fucking room and the atmosphere smacks me in the face, not including the stimulus. With a casino as an example, that was almost hell on earth. The noises, the lights, the cigarette smoke everywhere. It felt like it was built to dull the mind (and it probably was) and while it was exciting for a time and I don’t doubt that people had fun, it felt so. . .pointless. People spend hours at a time staring at screens or cards and throwing away their money or just sitting and pressing a button, and I did not see the appeal in it. What I did see is that the atmosphere seemed to feed into addictions. It makes more money.
Blew my mind though, as a first experience. “No wonder people get addicted, my brain feels like it’s filled with cotton.†That effect only subsided when I went outside and took a walk, went up to the top of the building, took pictures, etc. I had air and open space and my brain cleared.
15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
Neurotic, paranoid, a bit waspish. I'm a tense mess and my mind goes in circles about what I think will happen until I'm snapped out of it. If it’s important, like someone needing to go to the hospital, I’m usually the most level-headed person.
16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
Answered this.
17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
And this.
18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?
Lots of details. It's hard to live right in the present. Small things could slip under my nose and I'll notice them later, or I'll just notice random things in the environment that popped into mind. I also tend to neglect my body when I'm not using it.
19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
They'd probably never say I'm a bad person.
I feel bad saying that lol.
20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?
Read, write, draw, listen to or play music. Many things.
No comment
2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
Cohesion. Peace. Knowledge. Freedom.
They're all things I think I still lack in life.
3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
I don't know. Off the top of my head, when I can prove I know something. Trivia games and sports are good here.
4) What makes you feel inferior?
Not knowing things that I think should be obvious.
5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
Depends on the decision. If it involves people, I'll always try to take a dynamic approach that results in the least harm. If it's just me, I'll choose the choice that is easiest, most expedient, or also results in the least harm… but I tend to overanalyze everything, so actually coming to an important decision itself takes time. But I always make sure to consider people where they’re involved. I cannot fathom making a decision that involves other people without thinking of and including those people. I rarely need to bounce my plans or decisions on other people, but when I do, I seek people I think have some authority or knowledge in what I’m stuck on.
6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis?
The result and getting to the best version of that result in the most efficient way. Also doing it in a manner that doesn’t completely burn me out, though historically I have had problems with overcommitting.
Do you like to have control of the outcome?
Yes, because I don't usually think I can trust other people to do it as well, or to take their brunt of the work. Of course, I've only dealt with children in groups, but I'm not all that inclined to work with groups on projects anyway.
Alone, it’s clear I’d want to control the outcome. When it comes to those (like projects I did in school, as a random example), I’d take what is expected (or what goal I’ve created), envision what the end might look like for that item (or a few, and narrow down which one I like or is most appropriate), and work to meet that. It might not always come out exactly as I envisioned it, but whatever is different, I probably paid painstaking attention to lol.
7) Describe a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
Define “funâ€. It was probably writing or art or the rare sport (those times stick out, because others’ highs are like an echo chamber for me). Or music.
8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you?
Finding all the information I can on that thing, sorting through and taking it all in, rinse and repeat. Also, practice. If it's something I think I need to experience myself to learn, I'll want to do that. I also like seeing visual examples of what I’m learning (if such a thing applies).
9) How organized do you think of yourself as?
Comfortable chaos. I have the capability to be organized, it just doesn't work out well. Mentally, I can organize information pretty well, but I make sure to write down the important stuff, because if it isn't relevant to that moment, I'm likely to forget it.
10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
Both, and in that order, over and over until I'm satisfied.
I'm never satisfied.
11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
The former, without the group part. People don’t need to belong to a given group if they don’t want to or it isn’t necessary. I want the latter but it doesn't work out when people actually come into the picture. I am automatically tuned, unfortunately, to shifting gears to what that person or people respond to best based on my experience with them or what I read at the time.
12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
Think before speaking, one on one.
13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
Look before you leap; actions speak WAY louder than words because it's so easy to lie… but it's also easy to slip up. I’ve known a lot of duplicitous people, so I’ve learned to rely on what they don’t say and how they act for more accurate answers. If it aligns, they check out. If not, I know they’re lying, and it doesn’t take a long time to figure this out.
14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
Watch the show lol. Depends on what the night out is. I highly doubt I would be comfortable in any place with a high volume of people. I walk into a fucking room and the atmosphere smacks me in the face, not including the stimulus. With a casino as an example, that was almost hell on earth. The noises, the lights, the cigarette smoke everywhere. It felt like it was built to dull the mind (and it probably was) and while it was exciting for a time and I don’t doubt that people had fun, it felt so. . .pointless. People spend hours at a time staring at screens or cards and throwing away their money or just sitting and pressing a button, and I did not see the appeal in it. What I did see is that the atmosphere seemed to feed into addictions. It makes more money.
Blew my mind though, as a first experience. “No wonder people get addicted, my brain feels like it’s filled with cotton.†That effect only subsided when I went outside and took a walk, went up to the top of the building, took pictures, etc. I had air and open space and my brain cleared.
15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
Neurotic, paranoid, a bit waspish. I'm a tense mess and my mind goes in circles about what I think will happen until I'm snapped out of it. If it’s important, like someone needing to go to the hospital, I’m usually the most level-headed person.
16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
Answered this.
17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
And this.
18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?
Lots of details. It's hard to live right in the present. Small things could slip under my nose and I'll notice them later, or I'll just notice random things in the environment that popped into mind. I also tend to neglect my body when I'm not using it.
19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
They'd probably never say I'm a bad person.
I feel bad saying that lol.
20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?
Read, write, draw, listen to or play music. Many things.
Thank you in advance for answers!
I should probably go make an introductory post.
